Problem with past situation with sister

Question

6 years ago my sister got married and we got into it right before

she told me days before to not come to the wedding, so to not ruin her day I didn't go

I was 20, still a bit immature and selfish and I have admitted it many times to her and everyone else

Now I am 26 have 2 kids and am law school, I have grown up a lot and am on a good track but the past always comes back to haunt you

I am getting married to my kids father in 5 monthes and my sister is in my wedding, I told her I would understand if she didn't want to be but she said she did want to be in it

I thought the past was the past but I guess not

My mom said my sister has said something to her lately about her wedding and how I hurt her

I feel bad but I can't turn back the hands of time, I can't change how I acted

and I doesn't seem like enough that I am the person I am now

I don't know what to do

It makes me just want to elope

but a lot of money has already been put into the wedding

what should I do?

I really just want to not face it and have a very small wedding

so I don't have to face people talking about what I did and that she is in my wedding and blah blah blah behind my back at my own wedding

what would you do?

I don't know what to do I thought I had done all I could do, but supposedly not.

Answer 1

tell your mom if she doesn't have anything thing constructive to contribute then to please not stir up problems between you and your sister and repeat the past.  Tell her to tell your sister if she has something that she wants to say to you to say it instead of talking to other people behind your back.

The truth is you sister wants to participate in your wedding.  Yes she's hurt that the two of your fought before her wedding and I'm sure she's sorry that she told you to stay away (you did as she asked--so she shouldn't be upset about that) and I'm sure she told your mother in confidence how she was feeling and didn't want your mother to burden you with this.

so just accept what your sister tells you at face value and go on with your wedding plans.

congratulations and good luck.

Answer 2

Never mind whatever happened in the past.

Now, try to keep cool and do everything without hurting any one.

Is this your confession on a public platform?

or you want this to be read by your sister?

Answer 3

Your sis probably did forgive you. It's just that with your wedding it is opening a old wound. Have a wonderful wedding. Don't let it get to you. If it gets brought up again go to your sister and tell her that you are sorry and that is the last time you wish for the subject to be brought up. Tell her there really is nothing you can do to ever change the mistake you made, but you cannot go on feeling punished for something you have already profusely appologised for.