Problems with 11 year old?

Question

Hi guys,

My sister is a really uncooperative and rebellious 11 year old who uses extremely vulgar language. She is consistently disobedient and watches television shows that are totally inappropriate (Jerry Springer Show, other vulgar shows on MTV). She demands expensive boys clothing and is slowly corrupting my younger brother (7 years old). I believe most of this influence is from her school friends (in 6th grade). Now it's time for Junior High and she is adamant that she wants to go to the Junior High School of her choice (where her vulgar friends are going who remain a bad influence since she always talks to themon linee) instead of a private school where my parents want to send her. She is extremely abusive and uses foul language and always insists on locking her door. She disobeys every rule in the house and wants things done her way. She refuses to even take the placement test my parents wanted her to.

Any advice on how to tame her or how to make her listen?

Thanks

Answer 1

First of all this is not coming from t.v. alone because if you parents sees her watching something they don't approve of change it or turn it off all together.  This can change but it won't be easy because this did not happen over night.  Kids test adults and when they see we let them do one thing they test the next and before you know it you are all lost.  I have 3 kids and one on the way.  My 13 year old is in that stage that she doesn't like something she will run upstairs and slam the door that is disrespect to me and my husband because we work really hard for that house and that door.  So I took it off the henge's she wants a door she respects my house.  My four year old son tells me he misbehaved in daycare because he was so tired and when asked to write his name which he knows how to do he did not because of his hands were to tired.  So what did I do I took the kids home made dinner, we ate at the table like we do every night and when dinner was over.  He had to go to bed, his complaint was it was still daytime oh well now at least tomorrow he won't be sleepy and he will do all his work when asked to by the teacher.  And the biggest thing my husband and I always agree with each other.  NOT but in front of the kids we do.  We don't let them play us so if I put a punishment into effect that he thinks is to harsh he will not say anything until that evening when we are alone and he will say babe lets talk and we will talk there are times I see his point but together we go to the child in trouble and say you know after we calmed down we decided to change your punishment to this.  So they always see us and a union.  Your parents have to take control back or get a counselor involved to get help to do that.  

Answer 2

smack her *** teach her a lesson

Answer 3

Well for one your parents are legally responsible for her. If she is 11 years old and out of control then at 15 she could be finding herself behind bars. First maybe she is trying to say something and no one is really listening to what she is trying to say. She sounds like she is the middle child and they seem to be listened to the least by family members. Maybe your parents should invest some serious time into her for awhile, spend time with her alone like it's just the three of them. Maybe on a weekly basis for awhile and ask her questions about herself and as adults really listen to what she is saying. A  young lady at 11 years old who becomes rebellious like that at a young age is likely headed for way serious problems. If she wants to still be out of control you can call your local police department and arrange for her to see the inside of a jail cell (it's certainly not pretty) and the beds are made of steel ( not a comfortable place ).. But the bottom line is it starts with your parents.

Answer 4

I'd say disassociate yourself with her. You seem like you are one of those caring older siblings.

Ignore her and avoid her. Eventually she'll ask whats up and you tell her you don't approve of her behavior and you don't associate with people who act the way she does.

If she values you she will shape up, if she doesn't, ship out and let your parents deal with the little demon they caused, it isn't your fault.

Answer 5

It is your parents who allowed the problem to occur and only they can stand up to her.  What do people expect when they let their kids watch such disgusting tv and give into their demands.  

Answer 6

if she rearly wants sumthing say u will give her that if she listens and behaves for how ever long u tell her to if that dosnt work say u will send her 2 boarding school

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Answer 7

Stop trying to parent her. You are her brother, not a parent. Encourage your parents to find some family counseling, so that together you can work towards a more peaceful home.