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Problems with family members that makes you want to get away from them?

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I'm venting, sorry so long. What do you do during weddings, not go? Or go and sit elsewhere?

Father - thinks everyone owes him so much respect because he is the father, yet he doesn't have to act like a father. He just doesn't know any better. Thinks it's owed to him, while he continues to gripe and complain, we are to remain silent while he carrys on and on like the emperor with no clothes.

Mother - Extremely self centered, unable to think beyond her own feelings and suspicious, so quick to sting without reasoning abilities. Very poor decision making skills because she is thinking of herself only while she has five children. The family went no where fast, with ill mannered and vile acting siblings. Like a stone, with no feelings except her own fears for herself, while no compassion whatsoever for anything else unless it relates to herself. Was driving me to the airport after I was visiting last Thanksgiving. While we were visiting a friend of mine, she and her husband wanted to quickly departed so they wouldn't have to drive me to the airport. Figured my friend would do it, which is what I've always done, but I'm THATCLOSE to TELLING HER OFF. There have been times where our family could have moved ahead materially and she always made the wrong decision, so focused on only saving herself at the expense of her children. Always saying things like I have SO many children (meaning I could forget about you) and WHEN am I going to LIVE???

It NEVER occurs to any of these morons a win win.

Sister 1 - Thinks she is being coy and fakes helplessness while making others responsible for her foolishness. Ignorant and myopic approach, spineless and negative while using others for food and resources all the while convinced that she is more clever in spite of all evidence to the contary.

Sister 2 - Sociopath, no feelings, attention starved, doing negative things to maintain control and attention. Perplexed by feelings and how to act appropriately. Angry, controlling and defensive, bitchy and controlling, extremely offensive to others, insensitive, will run other anyone to get herself ahead, while pretending to be compassionate by doing things like going to Costa Rica to save sea life.

Sister 3 - Born again religious fanatic, constantly bored while she is boring, talks about religion at parties, sits next to me to get some attention while dropping food on my clothes "by accident" or borrowing my new lip brush and then "accidently" dropping it in the trash in a public restroom. Judgemental and thinks that the book, The Giving Tree is really great while having NO comprehension for the tree. Thinking that things are right with how the boy behaved in the book. Expects to be given and receiving, while offering nothing. EXPECTS it.

Brother - Negative as all get out, hostile, jealous, misery loves company, thinks only of his very small self. Commented to an ex of mine, whom I completely loved and was devoted to - You shouldn't marry into this family because I have schizophrenia.

I hate them, most of time. What to do? I've always try to be above them and have been pretty sucessful at it so far, but I'm at the point where I might crack if I see them again. I've tried my ENTIRE life to need nothing from them, they expect me to expect NOTHING. While they are so needy, selfish, greedy, self absorbed. I am always expected to be the "better person" while they have no such expectations for themselves. It's my fault in that I've always try to accomodate and be silent about it, what gets me is that is is NOT apreciated, acknowledged and I am EXPECTED to give more and get less or nothing.

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  1. To my sister from another mother (but my mother and your mother are the same) i have the same life as you I live in this S****y town that my mom doesn't like at all and when my dad got a job offer in another town which is much better than this my mom said no for no reason even though me and my father would be so happy there but my sister won't be happy we decided not to go but what else can you do but suck it up and prove you are better than this and better than them... i'm sorry that i didn't read your whole question...I have the same father as you...you just have to remind yourself that this is not gonna last forever you're gonna move out someday you just have to wait...but for now enjoy go out have fun with your friends cause friends are everything


  2. i know exactly how you feel. my mum and my sister gang up on me and make me feel like im the one with mental problems. sometimes i feel like an insane person in a sane world, because of how they treat me and speak towards me.

    im planning on having absolutely MINIMUM contact with them as soon as i leave home, there is no benefit i get from speaking to them. all they do is insult me, make me feel like im losing my mind, make me lose my temper, make me feel like im absolutely worthless and make me wish they would just give me up into foster care so i could see what its like just to live in a normal family.

    my sister: mission in life is to get my mum to favour her over me, doesnt respect her elders, ignores what she doesnt want to hear, copies me, steals and uses my stuff while lying to my mums face that she absolutely didnt, two-faced, repeats what other people say so that theyll agree with her, eg;

    Person: "Its really quite sunny today, I think Ill go put some sunscreen on."

    Sister: "Its sunny, dont you think?"

    Person: "Yeah, absolutely!"

    mother: used me as the practice child so that she could do a better job raising my sister, stays at hotels the day and night of my birthday so that she can f*ck her ugly boyfriend all night, let her friend push me against the wall and choke me because me and my mum had a disagreement, blames all her problems on me, cant accept that i strayed from the religion she raised me as and calls me evil, ignores me, doesnt buy me anything while absolutely spoiling my sister, b*tches about me to my grandma and her friends while im in the same room, goes through my things while im at school, drove me to depression.

    if i choose to be silent while they taunt me, it makes them go even harder and drive me to the extreme. if i retaliate, my mum screams at me and throws all my things out of the house.

    sometimes it feels more comfortable saying theyre not my family, more than saying they are.


  3. i have been in a very vvery similar situation to yoy all my life i am 29 now so i can give you some advice. From reading what you say it seems that you have started to get down as well and become slowly slowly more negateve, clearly this isn't a fault of your own. The responsibility for this must lie directly with your parents, and particularly your mother for not taking the importnt decisions in your lives correctly. As hard as it is,  try to work on individual relationships with your siblims and any cousins aunts or uncles that are sympathetic, even grandparents if possible. You will see that most people realise your family is disfunctional and are actually very very willing to be supportive of you.

    You also need to find some way out of this situation before it destroys you and i seriously suggest you consider either keeping a small distance from your family, even being in the next town or city can be enough to give you the cushion of space you need to start to develop on your own and make a new circle of friends.

    Finally, in terns of getting out of this situation, don't just jump to grab the first rope you think will drag you out, be calm collected and measured in ur decisions, because I can see that you need to be and indeed are self reliant, dont take any decision in haste that could jeapordise that and force you to drop everythign and fall at the feet of a family which doesnt care about you so much in the first place, or even if theydo care it is not in a positive way.

    and finally, best of BRITISH LUCK!!! It aint gonna be easy, but try and stay positive and stay in the present, love and cherish those friends and people who are actually close to you and supportive and be good to them, it will be a grounding and positive influence on your life.

    take care:)

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