Problems with my ex husband and his girlfriend what do i do?

Question

So i have been divorced for almost a year and i am still having problems with my ex and his girlfriend but mostly his girlfriend. We have a son together that is 4 and we went to court for custody and my ex and his girlfriend made stuff up and he ended up getting 75% custody and now when i go to get my son on the days i am suppose to and she is there whenever i leave she slams the door in my face and she comes here to pick him up and starts things at my house and flings rocks at me with her car and really there is no reason for her not to like me and she is starting to try and be my son's mother like taking over my place and i am getting really mad...so what do i do in order to make all this child stuff stop we go to court again in 2 weeks to meet with the judge this time. i just want this to stop bc i can only take so much before i snap and i have been dealing with this for 7 or 8 months. i know this whole thing is typed all crazy but if you understand it any way and could give me advice on what to do about both of them bc my ex is just as bad he lies and he gets away with everything.

Answer 1

hire a good attorney and ask him to set up a deal where you have to meet to exchange the child in a mutually agreed upon public place (lke mcdonalds).  and you may need to put in the document that the dad has to be at the exchange and his girlfriend can not be there.

Answer 2

My suggestion would be to open and honest in your communication with your lawyer and your judge. You pay your lawyer to help you get your children back. If he is not doing his job, find another one! If your ex and his g/f are spreading lies......... the truth will come out.

Answer 3

Speak with your ex in a calm manner and explain that his girlfriend is not playing nice and it's causing you stress.  In addition, you do not wish for your child to be exposed to any of the anger and/or aggressive behavior that may be occurring between the adults.  It's just not healthy.  Tell him that, at least until the next court date, you no longer want to do pick-ups and drop-offs at either home.  Pick a neutral, public place for the exchanges to take place.  I would go further and ask that he be the one to make the exchanges and that she not be involved.  This is his child and he is not married to this woman.  He should be the one to pick up and drop off his own child.  If he won't cooperate, speak with your attorney.  It may be possible for this type of pick up and drop off to be specified by the court given the issues you're having.  You might also have it specified that he is the only one who can do the exchange unless/until he remarries.  In the meantime, just keep biting your lip and don't let her know that it bothers you.  Keep a log of every incident in which the girlfriend is aggressive or ugly with you and make sure that you put a date and time on each entry.  For now, the less you react, the less ammunition your ex will have to use against you.

Answer 4

You can tell the court about your run in's with the girlfriend.

And you can also tell the court you are not comfortable with the idea of her living with your ex without them being married.

Plus, if it's your ex that has custody, why is his g/f picking up the child?

If he wanted custody so bad, he should be picking up the child since the g/f doesn't have any custodial rights.

I would ask her to provide proof of insurance and a valid drivers license.

Do you have any friends or neighbors that have been a witness to this?

Since your ex has 75% custody, if I were in your shoes, I would go back to school, get my Bachelors degree in something, get a good job, and refile for custody.

Answer 5

Let the lawyer handle this.

Answer 6

Unfortunatley, this is your ex's fault for letting his girlfriend do this c**p to you. My suggestion, if you can avoid him, do. Maybe you can pick your son in a public place where their will be witnesses if anything does happen. Also see if another family member instead of his girlfriend give you your son when its your visitation period. Good luck!!

Answer 7

wow that is so sad.  The kid is watching 3 adults going at it and he may be blaming himself.  Unfortunately, you have to be on your best behavior because you are still going to court and if he has most of the custody, he has the upper hand right now.  You cant do anything that would hurt your chances.  Take notes on dates and times that things happened.  You need to bring this up in court because her behavior, which is out of control and just plain immature, is bad for your son not just you.  The judge needs to see that your ex does not have your sons best interest in mind if he allows this to go on.  If she continues, put a restraining order against her.  If she throws rocks and gets like that, call the cops.  she is at your home and you feel threatened.  You are not at her house, she is at yours which shows she is coming after you.  The police reports will be proof of the incidents.  Also, if the cops come its a wake up call to her and your ex and she'll think twice about it or else she can get arrested for harrasment.  consider the order of protection and she cant come near you so she will not be able to be around when your there.  if she knows you are coming to get your son or he is being dropped off, she will have to keep away or else you can have her arrested on the spot.  Your husband needs to stop sending her to pick up your son, the court should know that as well.  She isnt his wife or anything legal for that matter.

Answer 8

buy a gun.

Answer 9

honestly, u should do nothing, eventually they're gonna start having problems(if she's really an idiot as u described) she's trying to annoy u , u know  get u all crazy so she can feel good about herself, when she comes to get ur son u should have all smiles as if nothing ever bothers u, when she slams the door in ur face laugh, once she see's she can't get to u  she will no longer be entertained by her ignorance- she is just trying to make her mark in his life, she knows there's always a chance u two can be  one again. and she needs to feel wanted, long story short. let her run herself out, in the end u will see she's an idiot nothing more.

Answer 10

Document everything and get a better attorney. If pick ups and drop offs are a big issue you can always schedule them at the police station. That would keep you both out of each other's homes and property.

Answer 11

Hire a good attorney.

Answer 12

really sorry to hear about how your baby's father acting like that. you and him need to talk this out this is hurting the child, do any body see that or is every body acting like children the girlfriend needs to respect you as the mother of the child, and what kind of women treats another women like that in front of anyone. pray with all your heart that there is Peace among you three, the baby did not ask for this. good luck hon.

Answer 13

Your kids ion an danger. really...

TRY to have a tape recorder going loudly in your pocket and a camcorder. a mini one out of sight to record what they are doing in your presense...and any or a few witnesses to their illegal behaviors like throwing rocks at you and the lies. Then go to criminal Court and demand their incarcerating. Make sure to get a man hationg attorney who can undo their les and press for jail for them, citing dangers  for the kid to be around. If you are the only witness, still file charges NOW and get  n attorney for this who Will try to have  them jailed. Also, make sure you take the results and paper work fro them corninal matter  back to reverse custody,. A top lawyer who cares about child welfare can also undo the custody arrangements,. In fact, the throwing of rocks indicates that they have mental problems, and that alone should reverse the ccustody order. Say you were hit and shop[w a medical bill and try to also have her arrested fopr assault.  Thuen sue ion civil couirt for 25 thoyuisnad diollars fopr personal ionjury. NMake it sio you start a topn opf fiures, You MUST fight fire wuith foire or you will be in a nut house yourslef. THEY ARE EVIL!!! I GET IT> I'VE SEEN It.

You shioudklm witgh the attorney  call child protective serves and tell them about their behaviors and your injuries and say you believe the kid is being mistreated becuase iof bruyises you saw on the arm of the kid. Make it up. . They will secretly investigate and giona unannounced acces into theior home and search all closets and drtaws. Rewll the uionvestigaltois hubby and the woman do  drugs topo....... Should drugs be found, or the place a disaster to live in, or if hubby and GF have friends over who the kid says mistreats him, they will be arrested and custody reversed. Be VERY VERY   determined  and unstop[able to reverse that custody aND TO HAVE then WITH COURT SUPERVISED VISTATION ONLY Obncre A month AT MNOST FOR THREE HOURS FOR TWO YEARS... SHOW ALL MY C=RECOMMENDATIONS TOP THE ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY. MONTH,.

THIS WILL NOT GO AWAY unless you TODAY file CHILD ABIUSE AND OITHER chaARGes./get a lawyer to do SONME OF IT AND TOP ADVISE YOU    dO NOT GET A WHIMO ATTORNEY, BUT ONE EWHO REALIZED THE KID INS IN DANGER, WHICH HE ACTUALLY IS...today and BRIUNG CRINIAL POAPERS AND ANLL OTHER RESULTS TOP THE OUTER COURT IN TWO WEEKS,.the results in to court and demand reversal of custody.

Answer 14

When she comes to your house use a video surveillance if this is at all possible, there is also small video recorders that is cheap that one can hide real easily. Get smarter than her. The girl sounds a bit intimidated by you, by this I mean she is most likely insecure. I am not that rude to my boyfriends X but I would like to be, maturity overides my need to show my true feelings. Yes I am intimidated by his X because she has something that him and I will never have (his kids). Dont SNAP she is not worth it. When you have your son enjoy the heck out of him. I dont think I have solved your problem, but I do believe that the good overcomes the bad. Your son know who his mama is dont let your Xs girlfriend get the best of you.  

Answer 15

I think that when I go to court in 2 weeks I would let the judge know their behavior. Take a witness with you. That is your son, not your ex's and his new girlfriend. I feel sorry for you and what you are going through. I will pray for you. I can only imagine how you feel. Stay strong.