Problems with my ex?

Question

Me and my ex have been split for almost 2 months we were together 10 years and had 2 children together 8years old and 4 years old both girls. He has a new girlfriend who started making problems between us regarding the kids.He was a really good father even when we were having problems he spent time with the kids.Last week sometime he came over to my home and physically assaulted me in front of our children I took all the proper legal actions he was arrested and now has a protection order on him where he can't come within 300 feet of me or the kids. Whats funnny is he called my cell phone and wasted his free phone call on me I didn't pick up it went to voice mail and he just called me a liar and I shouldn't have called the police.He was not like this when we were together and his girlfriend will call me from unknown # and say horrible mean things to me about our kids and myself. She did this before the above mentioned incident and I would talk to their dad and tell him what she had said to me and he told me not to listen to her and then he must have talked to her about it and of course she denied saying anything hurtful to me.Of course she bailed him out of jail and he's out roaming around.I know my kids miss him alot even after what wev'e been put through.They mention him often and how they want to see him but I just don't want anything to do with him. I don't know what else to do I go to court on Monday 8-18-08 to extend the protection order time wise. Can anyone offer me any advice on what I should do? (I have legal full custody of the kids) It makes me cry when I see my kids sad and crying because they miss their dad.

Answer 1

OMG lady just take the child support and run...I am SICK OF HEARING THIS STARY WITH WOMEN. If it makes things easier...at least you werent married...now that is definetely an incentive to walk away....

TRUST me you will feel much better whe u just ignore them both and keep emotions out of it

Answer 2

a warning tread lightly this happened to a friend of mine do everything in the courts and don't give up your rights as a mom she lost her kids because of a crazy new girlfriend go to court the situation is a mess he took custody of the daughters they wanted nothing to do with there mom because the dad and the girlfriend manipulated them there grown women know and there looking for there mom there sorry and the dad isn't

good luck

Answer 3

Even with the restraining order, you can request the visits be supervised with your ex at a certain place. This way, you don't have to be around him, but they will get to see their dad.

I suggest also, that you have your phone number changed!  This will stop all calls from his new bimbo.

Answer 4

Well since your separation is fairly new it is going to take some time for things to calm down and start being somewhat normal again.  It sounds to me like the new girlfriend is obviously jealous and insecure because you were with him prior and have a family and history with him and it probably makes her feel better when you two argue that way it somewhat reassures her that there would not be a possibility of you two reuniting.   The restraining order is a good thing to have and it is good that you do have full legal custody, one of the best things you could do is to set your pick up and drop off locations at your local Sheriff's department or Police Department.  Also, constant phone calls, could warrant a harassing phone call criminal charge on her, as well as a possible stalking charge or even communicating threats  charge.  The best thing for your children is to let them know that you love them and their dad loves them and that sometimes grown ups just do not get along and to just try to keep their daily routine as normal as possible.   Definately keep the restraining order in effect, dropping it now could make it more difficult later to get another one, should it become necessary.  I have worked in a law office for the past fifteen years and her specialty is domestic cases, so I have seen from so many past cases and current cases that until he learns to be more civil towards you and grows up some, you will continue to have these problems until your children age out at 18.

Answer 5

He sounds unstable and like something has happened to him in his life.  It sounds like this new girlfriend is also bad for him, but he will have to realize that on his own.  If she keeps calling you might ask if you can also get a restraining order on her as well.  I would not allow the kids to see him until he apologized and realizes his mistakes.  

Answer 6

What kind of drugs are they on???

If you have full legal custody of the girls, you need to keep him away from them!  He physically assaulted you, called you a liar when you reported it, and said you shouldn't have called the police.  This sounds like a threat to me.

Extend that restraining order.  Try to explain to the girls, as best you can, that they can't see their dad right now.  It won't be easy, but the right thing to do isn't always the easy thing.

The new girlfriend sounds poisonous and I'm willing to bet that drugs are involved.  You need to do anything and everything you can to protect yourself and the girls.  You might want to seek help at a women's shelter - they can offer specific advice.

Might want to buy a gun - don't become a statistic.  Women are murdered every day by their husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends.

Good luck to you!

Oh yeah - Change your phone number or get selective call block on your line and BLOCK HER CALLS!!!

Answer 7

Keep him away from your children. Although it may seem hard, they should NOT be subjected to his discusting and hurtful behavior. You know what's best.  

Answer 8

Hmmm . . . that's a tough one. Maybe you could go through the court and get him supervised visits so that way you won't have to worry about any harm being done to the girls by him or his girlfriend. You should maybe do something about the girlfriend for harassing you over the phone like that. That is really unnecessary. You don't have to have anything to do with him in order for him to stay involved with the kids. maybe a trustworthy neutral party could pick the girls up and take them to his house and then bring them back so that you won't have to be near him. Hope this helps!!

Answer 9

I can understand how much it upsets you to see your kids miss their dad,but you cannot put this upon yourself to blame. He was the one that made the choice to physically abuse you and so it is he that should suffer the consequences. This will also be a good lesson to teach your children and by example they will see how not to put up with being physically abused by anyone. Sorry his new girlfriend is causing the already problems to excalate, but remember, it is your ex who is choosing to listen to her. There is nothing you can do about that. Just be compassionate with your children and explain that you want them to see their father but for now he needs to learn to behave better. They are kids, they are unable to understand it all, but if you show them of how much you wish their dad would behave so that they can see him this will at least not look at you as the cause of all of this. Be careful and good luck to you!