Professional/Client relationship- confusion?

Question

Hi,

My key worker told me that in a "relationship" such as ours there should be no emotional involvement. That she isn't supposed to be emotionally involved in my case and that I shouldn't be emotionally involved or attached to her, that she's just there to offload to really. Ihave been seeing her for under a year. My question is how can they turn around and say they 'care' without being emotionally involved? And when you ask that you usually will get a stupid answer like "i care on a professional level"...in my books you either care or you don't.

I understand there have to be boundaries but to say to a client who is meant to trust you and talk about personal things that you aren't emotionally involved in the case...seems quiet hard, cold and hurtfull. I mean hey i don't expect this person to be my best friend - nothing of the sort but how am i supposed to believe that they care at all? Or do I not believe that either?

I feel like these stupid rules are set up by someone who hasn't got a clue. How do you work with humans on their emotions and problems and try to help them through it without any emotion? It doesn't make sense.

So basically to all professionals each client is an object or a number? another hour until payday?

x

Answer 1

They can't be emotionally involved - if they were they would have had a break down by now. That's why other professions such as doctors/surgeons don't get attached to their patients - if they did they would find it hard to get through each and every day.

They do care, but if they care "too much" per se, then it will affect them, and their professional guidance that they are giving to you. So technically yes, they care on a professional level, but that term just needs to be interpreted correctly.

Answer 2

I believe your question 100% as I too have experienced similar instances.

I had a Community Psychiatric Nurse who was also my key worker and she used to say "'lll see you at 1 0'clock." That would arrive and no one turned up. At 1.30pm she would waltz in and say "I'm ready now". No apology, no explanation, nothing. She had the smallest notebook and a biro. She'd take me to a room and we would sit down and she would just look at me. After 10-15 minutes she would say "Well". And I would reply "Well what?" "Well how's your week been?" I would answer and then there would  be another period of silence.

That's how interviews with her were conducted. She was hopeless.

In the end I saw her manager and asked for a change and the manager offered to become my CPN and also my key worker. Things then massively changed for the better.

I agree there should be rules but it's down to individual nurses to interprete what they read and some of them can be very difficult indeed. I therefore didn't become involved in any emotional involvement with any of them because they weren't people who were warm and welcoming and took an interest in my case.

Answer 3

i have never had a professional tell me that, maybe your expecations seemed unreasonable to her.  ask her if she tells all her clients that or if there's somethignabout your that made her want to tell you that.

Answer 4

I find most people in helping professions do actually genuinely care and do get emotionally involved. However saying that stuff to you is not relevent/

It is human nature to become even a little bit emotionally invested in the things that we do (otherwise we would not be doing them)

i think she is mainly trying to [professionaly protect herself, which is important too and people in these fields often carry a lot of stress and anxiety home about their jobs and what they did that day