Public Schoool or Homeschool for a gifted child?

Question

Okay, My daughter will be in Kindergarten this year. She was tested a few weeks ago from the dean of gifted and talented in our school district. They said that she is above level. Her mind is more in line with a seven year old. At this time she is still 4. Her Birthday isn't until May. My question is: Is it better to put her in school , or homeschool?

Answer 1

If your public school is willing to offer her with work that will engage her then by all means put her in public school.  Most schools will offer work that is above grade level to children who need it.  My son was reading at a 3rd grade level in 1st grade and doing math that was at a 2nd grade level... while the teacher still taught a first grade curriculum, she offered him work sheets and books that were above grade level.  Not only did he get to associate with his peer group, he got to work at a level that was right for him.  As the first answerer stated, a private school for the gifted would be an excellent alternative to check out.

Check out this website...

http://www.homeschoolinkwell.com/negativ...

Answer 2

gifted children in particular have difficulty developing social skills, public school would really be better to encourage that social development.  however, if you are concerned with her challenge level, shop for a school first or augment her education with extra studies at home.

That is what I did for my gifted son.

Answer 3

put her in kindergarten for now and see how she does.  if she's bored then think about putting her into a gifted program.  in kindergarten she's going to learn valuable social/people skills.

Answer 4

put her in public school

Answer 5

Yeah, put her in school where she will have to wait for the rest of the class to get everything; waste time going from class to class, getting supplies out, watching movies with a sub, and will be bored out of her mind!  I was not a 'gifted' kid but I could tell from the homework my friends always brought home I would have been very bored at public school.  I am so glad my parents chose to homeschool and let me learn at my own pace whether that was moving ahead, or staying on a subject till I knew it front and back.  

I do not believe children are born gifted, rather it is something in their surroundings that makes them this way.  Obviously you have been raising her the right way if she is gifted, so why not keep doing what you are doing?  If her school gets too complicated someday there are always tutors, other homeschool parents, and college classes you can take online or at the campus.  I took quite a few college classes during high school because the high school-level work was simply not challenging enough.  So we took my education to the next level.  When I was ready for college I already had credits to transfer.

Socialization is really not an issue in today's world.  I have never had a problem with making friends whether they are my age or not, I have never been lacking for friends, and I have never had anyone comment on my social 'skills'.  Although many people say I am 'so outgoing' when they find out I was homeschooled.  

In my opinion, homeschooling is your best bet, maybe private school, but definitely not public school.

Answer 6

the biggest problem of most child prodigies is lack of social interaction. do you daughter a favor and let her learn in a social setting, tho i wouldnt go with Public schools unless they're really good and you plan to stay involved.

i'd suggest a charter or magnet school (dont know if you have those in your area) or the gifted school you spoke of. you can always supplement her studies at home by pushing the learning limits further, while still allowing her to learn the interaction.

good luck

Answer 7

put her in public schools~let her be a kid~make friends~have fun, she can always do harder work and be in advanced classes, but she needs to be in a public school~it teaches you to deal with life

Answer 8

This is a very interesting question. There will be no way to give a "yes/no" answer on the basis of the information supplied, but it does raise a number of points.

Firstly - ignore any comments that your child will need to learn social skills. You will already know for yourself she is more than capable of relating to, for example, 7 year old children and adults. If she seems less able to relate with other 4 year olds, it is because her social requirements are as far beyond theirs as, say, a 7 year old's. (This is no-one's fault, just a fact of where each child is at.)

Next I offer a list of things to consider:

1. Is one parent prepared to commit to homeschooling?

2. Can you afford for one parent to commit to homeschooling?

3. What are your school-based options?

4. Of those schools, which are *demonstrating* that they understand issues related to giftedness by implementing strategies to a) identify gifted children in their populations, and b) cater to these children?

5. "How" gifted is your daughter? (From the 7yrs vs 4ys ratio she will likely be a highly gifted child) - more particularly, if your daughter is highly gifted, how well do your schools cater to this?

6. Do you realise the most influential elements in your child's development at early-schooling age will be, in order, a) her parents/caregivers, b) her teacher, c) her school, each taking about a 50%, 40% and 10% stake respectively?

7. Does she have siblings? Are they older or younger? Are they already in school?

8. Is she socially outgoing, or reserved?

9. Did she attend preschool? If so, how did she go?

Giving you a list of questions like that will probably take you even further from an answer.

Notwithstanding questions of affordability, logistics, etc, the absolute prime question in deciding whether a school is suitable for a gifted child (and not the other way around) is to see how they are currently identifying and catering for gifted children.

For highly gifted children (and on the basis of the 7yrs vs 4yrs, your daughter sounds highly gifted), and highly gifted girls in particular, it is crucial that they don't feel like they stand out for their intelligence, and secondly, that they have access to an intellectual peer (regardless of their age) at least several times a week (in or out of school).

An intellectual peer allows them to "norm reference" - basically feel like "okay, I'm not alone" - because they will certainly recognise that they are different to the majority of their peers, even if they don't fully appreciate why or how. They will almost certainly not be able to articulate that they feel different either.

If she does early-enter, you'll want frequent communication with her teacher for several weeks to ensure you are confident that your daughter feels valid in being who she is. If you don't feel free to talk freely with your school and your daughter's teacher, about your daughter's needs, then an alarm is ringing.

Regarding your daughter's initial progress, watch out for signs of regressive behaviour or suppressing her intellectual abilities - some of this is acceptable (for example, reverting to "baby talk" is common) but ongoing or increasing reverted behaviour is not. Read up on Miraca Gross' "forced choice dilemma" amongst highly gifted children also.

Answer 9

Put her in school so she can socialize with the other children.  If they have a dean of gifted and talented then they should have a Gifted and Talented class for her to go to.

Answer 10

you have forgotten that the child is the subject here.  what would she like?? where is her current friends going?? you have to remember the needs of the child are paramount

Answer 11

I knew my son was gifted by the age of 2, I wanted to homeschool him but the pressure from family about 'socialization' caved me.  We basically went through pure heck for his entire Elem sch education.  I had him tested in 1st grade and his was at a 5th grade level.  I had to push this to show his teacher that he was not being a unruly child, just completely bored out of his mind.  His love for learning slowly started to deteriorate and by the 4th grade he had been so berated, belittled and bullied by his classmates for knowing things that he gave up on schoolwork all together.  We finally agreed to take him out during middle sch years and he has had to literally detoxify for 2 yrs from the public school system.  It still brings tears to my eyes to think how things could have been for him if I had HS'ed earlier.  I am reminded of a clip I saw somewhere called animal school and my son was the kangaroo who couldnt hop as fast as he wanted but instead had to crawl on all four feet and wait for everyone else.  BUT!  We still have time before he heads off to college and he has regained a love for learning and rebuilt his creativity/imagination.  I do think everyone who plans to homeschool should let their child attend at least one year of public school for the heck of it.  How could you possibly have an opinion about PS or know the difference if youve never done it.

Update : "How could you possibly have an opinion about PS or know the diff if youve never done it"  That is from the child's point of view, not the parents.

Answer 12

school, homeschool she will not get the social engagment she will need. or the education she will need.

Answer 13

I have a gifted child as well, and i will tell you that putting them in school is the right choice.  This way they can also develop social skills as well, which is very important.  Just make sure that you are very selective with choosing a school and that you have fully researched and observed the teaching and work ethics in the school before enrolling.

Answer 14

I almost hate to answer, because you've gotten so many good answers. ysn-yourstudentn & HS Mom especially have a lot of food for thought!!!

But to offer the perspective of a mom in a similar position, I wanted to post.  I have a 5 year old who has not been tested for giftedness, but since age 2 people have been prodding me to get him tested.  I have decided to wait until there is an actual need for a test and label, however I can already see that I absolutely can't put his education on the PS autopilot system.  Not that any parent should, but he has a penchant for learning that I really don't want to die.  And that's my concern with any child being in public school or the wrong private school, but especially a gifted child.

If you have the option at all, as many others have attested too Homeschooling is an excellent choice.  The only possible negative is if you live in a situation where there is no home school support and other educational avenues around.  I live in a metropolitan area, so I would feel no real fear of missing out if I home schooled.  We have many museums with activities, and lots of other places for social interaction with people his own age.  I suppose if you live way out in the country and have few funds for extracurricular, the public school house might be the only place to socialize or get to participate in activities that might cost too much otherwise.  So, do a little research to see if there are sufficient outlets and groups around to offer you and your child support and a little social mingling with others.  Otherwise, there is so much information and so many curriculum options available that it's really reasonable for an attentive and interested parent to home school very successfully and their child not be or feel anymore like a social outcast than they otherwise might.  And as some have mentioned, being gifted, your child might have MORE socialization problems in public school than if she avoids it.

We are currently in a very small, nontraditional private school setting and it's working very well for us at this point but does require a LOT OF SUPPLEMENTAL work and input on my part.  He is currently in 1st grade because his preschool teacher and headmistress were very astute when he was 3 and asked to move him to the next level up.  We tried that out and it worked great, so when he was 4 she asked if we could do the Kindergarten class and I agreed.  And now he is in the first grade program there.  I considered moving him to public school once he turned 5 because "that's what ya do", but he would have been forced to stay in Kindergarten just because he was 5...no questions asked.  So, we have stayed so that he can be in first grade.  The class size is VERY, VERY small and the work load is very reasonable so that we can work on lots of extra things at home that suit our interest and still not be burned out with the homework.  Even the 1st grade work doesn't challenge him entirely, but the class structure lends itself to a lot of nontraditional learning and he is still having fun learning.  That's my biggest thing at this point, for him to continue to enjoy his quest for knowledge.

I don't know if there are schools like that around you...but if so, a private school might work very well for you.  If there is a school specifically for gifted children that might work well too.  But be careful of so called gifted programs in public or traditional schools because often they are just throwing extra  busy work on your kids.  it's not truly challenging them on their level just telling them to do the regular work, plus a little more.  It doesn't encourage your child to love learning, nor does it really teach them anything extra.

So, you will want to do as much research as you can starting with those great links posted here, and find out what is unavailable around you and decide what will fit your family situation best.

Oh yeah...I didn't mention that for me homeschooling alone isn't really an option because I'm a single mom living in a different state than my family so I can't be home all day and he has to be somewhere...so I figure they may as well teach him something while he is there.

Answer 15

If you have the money, you could send her to a private school, but even if your funds are limited, most offer tuition assistance.

Many cities have magnate schools, that is public schools that center around gifted students and offer programs that aid in their development.  You still have to apply and be approved, just like at a private school, but they're free like public schools.

Sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but most of the homeschooled children I've met are socially awkward and many times don't know how to properly assimilate into social groups, college or even work situations.

Answer 16

I went to public school from grade k-part of 9. I was tested very early for the gifted and talented program and was ranked very high. However, at my school that pretty much meant nothing. I was often very bored in class, felt like I wasn't learning anything, and almost felt neglected. Her school may have a great program for the gifted and talented. I would look into it. Homeschool is also a great option because you could plan the curriculum directly towards her needs. Your best bet is to look into both options and see which will fit your family's needs. Good luck!

Answer 17

It depends,are you good at teaching children?Are YOU really intelligent?But its best homeschooling her.

Answer 18

It's really a personal decision, but we've had great results with our gifted child.

She really could go at her own pace so that nothing was holding her back-- she was writing full length novels by the age of 13, taking college courses by the age of 15... she's 17 now, graduating homeschool and getting her AA degree in the same year, grades & test scores are good enough to qualify for scholarships to 4-yr universities.

Socially it was probably even a better thing for her than academically-- she was a shy child and always mature and intelligent, in K and 1st and 2nd grades she really had a hard time relating to her peers and was very much alone in a crowded room at school. Once we began homeschooling she was able to get involved with smaller, friendlier groups of kids, began making friends (usually finding other kids like herself that many kids would have considered "nerdy" in school).

It really worked out well, she's a very active volunteer in church and the library, very talented in a number of areas, doing really well in the community college courses and already has almost a 2 yr degree under her belt, has some good friends (2 not homeschooled, 1 who was but now is in college) that she's been very close to, and is fairly outgoing now.

Answer 19

Which is better depends on your personal willingness and commitment for your daughter's education. Homeschooling is as good as you make it.

Although my dh and I (both public school teachers) had pretty much already decided on homeschooling due to the social environment at school, seeing our daughter start to read and do math at 3 had us realize that she would be bored out of her mind at school. The school she would have gone to does not have a gifted program, so that wasn't even an option to consider. Seeing her now at 10, I'm so glad we made the decision to homeschool.

If you are willing and interested to take homeschooling on, your daughter could benefit in so many ways: academically, you can meet her where she's at, let her go her pace, allow her to focus on her interests; socially, if you get involved with homeschooling groups, she'll have kids of various ages to interact with and her age mixed with her intelligence won't matter--just to name a couple.

Plenty of people will say that it'll harm her socially. There's no reason to think that. If you provide some means of social interaction and guide her, she'll be fine. In fact, because of your guidance, she'll probably do better at connecting and interacting than she would be if left to her own devices in school. If you have homeschoolers or things like dance or any other kinds of classes in your area, it will be so easy for her to make friends.

Answer 20

Zoozy above makes some very good points.

My son is "twice gifted" (google it) meaning that he is intellectually gifted (albeit not profoundly) and he struggles with social anxiety.  The social anxiety developed at public school.  He was fine in private for the first half of elementary and is fine now that we homeschool (started middle school).

We have had experience with private, public and homeschool as student (my son) and teacher (me).

Private school gets an A in my book.

Public school gets an D.

Homeschooling gets an A+

A lot is going to depend on the quality of your school.  Regardless, if you decide to go the public school route, you should probably plan on being very involved and making the necessary opportunities for your child yourself.  That was our experience.

Our son was in the gifted program in PS and it was (to put it kindly) not very robust or individualized.  It consisted mostly of take-home busy work like sodoku puzzle worksheets (which my son thought was boring).

We tried public school because we bought into the socialization myth.  Our real-life experience has been the exact opposite.

You will find homeschool allows your child to move at her own pace much better than public or even private school.

My son is in one of the regional talent search programs, took the ACT in 7th, scored well enough to get into most colleges and is already in 9th being recruited by a top college - although if you listen to some here, homeschoolers never get into college.  Bologny!

Right now my 9th grader is in 2 coop classes with 11th and 12th graders.  He has his own small business which he is using to save for college. Next year he will start taking community college courses.  This summer he will be attending a course at Patrick Henry college and a course in digital videography at either Stanford or the New York Film Academy (we haven't decided which yet).

Last summer he attended an educational / fun camp at Walt Disney world which included working with the Imagineers, behind the scenes tours of some of the rides, introduction to some of the physics of the rides, actual work in one of the production studios and a bunch of other stuff.

Some of this stuff you could certainly do regardless of homeschool, private or public... However, the scheduling flexibility with homeschooling really makes it easier.

One word for you to consider: Freedom.

***UPDATE:

My son experienced in PS the things described by HSMom below. He started to hide his intelligence so that he would "fit in."

The homeschoolers we know and hang out with are thrilled by learning and differences and are very accepting of one another across all age bands, interests and abilities.

Answer 21

Homeschooled. You can teach so much more than a school can, you can be understanding when she needs you, invdividual attention is gonna make her very smart, if you teach the right materials.

I was young, 5 actually, and I was tested at a 3rd grade level.

In 1st grade, the teacher taught me nothing. Those are very important years of learning for any child. So my mom homeschooled me. I skipped two grades and had a very high GPA.

There are social functions that you can attend when homeschooling, and you can always put her on a sports team to find friends too.

I've been in college for a year now, and I adjusted just fine.

Answer 22

Homeschooling, no contest here.  I was home-schooled for the same reason.  I got to work at my pace which was fast.  When I was in public school I never got challenged like I needed.  I got bored and so my parents home-schooled me.  There are a TON of homeschooling groups for social interactions.  Odyssey of the Mind is a great group for when she gets older.  Good luck with what ever you choose to do.

Answer 23

Its a personal choice, but if you home school, make sure shes out playing with other kids too. Enroll her in soccar or Bluebirds/ Campfire Girls when shes old enough. She need social skills as well as book smarts.

Answer 24

I have a friend with a gifted son in public school. He has been bored out of his mind for years and now in high school, his grades are slipping. She tried to get him moved up a grade all through out his elementary school years, but the school kept saying he was benefiting for the peer socialization he was receiving. My friend came to believe that they were just not willing to give up one more year of a kid who made high marks on standardized tests. (That is how the money a school receives is decided here in KY.) Her son used to take a stack of books to school with him everyday so he'd have something to do while the other kids finished their work.

She wished she'd have homeschooled.

If I were you, that is exactly what I would do. I remember being in PS and smart outspoken girls are treated as social lepers.

Answer 25

If she really is gifted, then fine her a school that will encourage her gifts, unless you have the time and can encourage her gifts at home.

Answer 26

With all of these wonderful answers, I'll be brief.

If you choose the public (or even private) school route, ask them what *exactly* what they are willing to do for gifted students. My brother had some difficulties with boredom in most of his grades, but in 4th (or maybe 5th, I'm not sure) grade it came to a head. Not only was he extremely bored in class, the teacher gave excruciatingly boring homework. Maybe for some of the other students, it was practice, but for my brother it was busywork...pages and pages of it after an entire day of (his words) "wasting time while she says the same thing over and over and over and over". A talk to the teacher garnered a promise that she would give him better things to do in class, but resulted in her simply doubling the amount of busywork he was doing as homework. A talk to the principal first resulted in more homework, then in the outrageous statement that "He'll be out of elementary school after next year and the middle school has some honors classes."

He switched to a (very good) private school and was immediately much happier.

Answer 27

You can read some of my other responses to this, but my son is profoundly gifted and it was actually the public schools who encouraged us to HS him when he was 4 in their preschool.  He was not tested until age 7 by them, and when they tested him, they said to continue HS'ing him.

Don't listen to the naysayers about the "lack of social interaction".  It is a COMPLETE myth spread by those who do NOT know.  They haven't BTDT.  Here are three great articles on homeschooling and the "S" word:

A good essay on the Socialization Myth

http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig/zysk1.ht...

No Thank You, We Don't Believe in Socialization!

http://www.webeans.net/hutt/socialize.ht...

Paula's Archives - Socialization

http://www.redshift.com/~bonajo/socializ...

Research Shows Great Things

http://www.thehomeschoolmagazine.com/How...

Another great resource you should look into is Hoagies Gifted:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

It is a HUGE site with all sorts of information, including HS'ing which is very popular among families with gifted children.  They just can't fit into B&M schools.

Here's the page about HS'ing:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/home_school...

Also, there is a great e-list for gifted families who homeschool:

http://www.tagfam.org/

Sign up for TAGMAX and read and post and you'll get a feel for HS'ing a gifted child.

HS'ing will allow your daughter to soar.  You can mix and match curriculum for grade levels and learning styles (my son is a global learner).  She can go at her own pace in different courses and will have several hours a day for indepedent, self-directed learning.  She will have time to *really* study a topic if she wants to.  Going off on "rabbit trails" is one of our favorite things to do.

Our district did not have a GT program until 2nd grade, and that was just a math pull-out program for one hour a week.  The GT director told me, after our son was tested, that he was at least 3 years ahead of all the kids in the program - yet another reason to continue HS'ing him.

What happens with a gifted kid in a B&M school is that they lose their love of learning.  Why? Because they are bored out of their mind and they are not challenged.  They also risk becoming the "teacher's helper" and end up tutoring other kids in class.  That's not fair to the child.  Gifted kids are also picked on relentlessly.  My son gets that from his neighborhood friends who are in PS.  They don't understand him, and since he's different, they pick on him for being "Mr. Smarty Pants".  He's just being himself.  He does NOT get picked on by other HS'ed kids.  He's been doing this for five years and not once has a HS'ed said anything to him like that.  It's because HS'ing embraces differences.

I could go on for hours discussing this.  Just do your own research, join/read a few gifted forums, and make your own decision.  If you HS for Kdg, you can always put her in school for 1st grade.  Commit to only one year at a time and re-evaluate each year to see if it's still working.  You may just find out you like it so much, and it's so great for your daughter, that you continue :-).

Answer 28

My sister is a public school teacher. The teachers in her school refer to the No Child Left Behind act as the "No Child Gets Ahead" act....they teach to the bottom level kids, because it is those kids whose failing scores will bring the school penalties. The mid and gifted level kids will pass the tests easily, so why put any effort into advancing them when it gains the school nothing?  Sad but true.

Homeschool...we did it for my kids and it is one of the BEST choices we've ever made.  Read my other answers for more info, but in short, go to the library and check out the 371 non-fiction section for great books on homeschooling!

Answer 29

Homeschooling would definitely be better for her because she can move at her own pace and not be held back by the rest of the class.  Public school classrooms can be difficult for gifted kids because it is boring.  Often school will kill a child's love of learning, or dumb them down to the point where all they want to do is memorize some information for a test and move on.

Why would a child want to sit there learning ABC's when she already knows how to read chapter books?  It is honestly a waste of time.  She needs to be in an environment where she can move ahead when she already knows the material and thus have an opportunity to learn more.

If you're concerned about social interaction, there are homeschool support groups you can join where your dd can participate in spelling bees, chess clubs, science fairs, book clubs, or just do simple fun activities like park days.  She will also have mre time for interesting field trips ad projects.

Here is some information on homeschooling and it's benefits:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

I don't think you could go wrong with homeschooling, but obviously, it's your decision!

Answer 30

Definitely homeschool. I have heard of many stories where kids who loved to learn, hated public school. It is because in public school there is not nearly as much learning going on than there would be if they could be homeschooled. Because if a kid is homeschooled, she/he can just lock herself in her room with tons of books of all sorts, and maybe a computer, and do all the learning they want, to their heart's content.

Answer 31

We are homeschooling our two gifted teens now since 5th grade, but they both started out in public school, and for a while it was a good fit and they enjoyed it.

Here's a good website on homeschooling gifted:

Gifted Homeschoolers Forum

http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/

My daughter was in your child's situation 9 years ago. We got the school to allow her to enter first grade rather than kinder, when she was 5 based on her test results. She loved being with slightly older kids, and she was challenged more, academically.

Here's a good website on the benfits of academic acceleration.