Punishing a child from getting easter? Right or wrong?

Question

Ok my 9 year old daughter is very spoiled and lately she has beed screaming at me and her dad with no respect. She yells at us, and talks back very bad. We threatened her that we were going to take away her Easter, and that she wasnt going to get a basket. She says "I dont care, and Im not going to go to grandma and Papa's either, I'll stay home by myself." She is getting out of control.. Would you say go aheas and take her easter away and let her dwell on what she has done? I already bought all the stuff to make her basket, which I was going to start going to get together tonight... Can someone give advice...

Answer 1

take it away and she'll know the next time that she can't be acting like a spoilt little brat!

Answer 2

I would say you've missed the fact that your daughter has probably hit puberty.  We don't celebrate "Easter" the way most Christians do so your "basket" and garbage wouldn't be missed in our house since we don't have them anyway.

Answer 3

always stick to your punishments

Answer 4

Never threaten a punishment which you aren't going to carry through on. If you don't take away her Easter then she is just going to think she can get away with other things later on. From now on make sure your punishments fit the crime and are ones you are willing to enforce.

Answer 5

Don't necessarily take easter for her if you feel its important. I say whoop her *** ( but if you don't believe in that) take her toys or something else of importance and don't give her the basket until you think she has learned.

Answer 6

You made the threat to take it away so do it.  She probably thinks it's an empty threat and you will give in...like you always do perhaps?

Answer 7

Give the basket to someone else.

Punish her. Good.

Answer 8

well it sounds like your daughter is getting a little out of control on her behavior. so i think you shouldnt give her easter because then she will learn that being rude to your parents is not acceptable. she needs to understand that when she does bad stuff there will punishment to come along with it. tell her if she shapes up her attitude in the next week or two she could have her easter basket.

hope i helped. :)

Answer 9

Go ahead and take it away. Eat the candy with your husband. She IS going with you.

Answer 10

Stick by your guns.

Answer 11

I didn't let my son go trick or treat on Halloween because he stole something, so yes, it is perfectly acceptable to take away a holiday treat, for EXTREME behavior...your daughter sounds like she deserves it.  Now that you have threatened to do so, you HAVE to, or she'll never respect you or believe you.  Obviously, you don't let her sit home and pout on Easter...take her to Grammy and Papa's and if she's bratty there, make her sit in the guest room all alone. The only way to deal with this kind of attitude is set strict rules and discipline her EVERY time she acts up from now on.  Let her know in no uncertain terms that you will NOT put up with this kind of behavior.

Answer 12

To threat the removal of Easter was a mistake. Its to far off to make an impact. A time out, a spanking, the loss of a disrespected toy( ie. she threw a toy) are immediate punishments that have an impact. especially the inability to participate in an ongoing event.

Easter is far away, and its bemnefits like chocolate wont be immediately missed. also its likely she thinks you will relent.

Now your stuck...you threaten it ..you need to follow through.

Answer 13

no ... always follow through if you say something... but if she is out of control.... maybe you need to speak to her about her behavior and if it doesnt improve start taking things away like phone and tv and mp3 and overnites until she learns respect and see s that you are the boss and are not kidding.  if this doesnt work you might want to seek counseling... sometimes the behavior goes deeper than just not being respectful.  And tell her what Easter is about .... why we have it.  Fill her basket full of things if you give her one that will make her think about what Easter is about .  Because the truth is she does care if she gets something.

Answer 14

I personally wouldn't threaten with Easter. It is about remembering that Jesus gave his life for us. I would be punishing in other ways. Strip her room of everything and make her earn it all back through respect. No treats bought down the shops. No trips anywhere, no friends over. You need to get on top of her behaviour for sure but as I always say, once you give a punishment you have to follow through.

Answer 15

Maybe if she is so spoiled you could possibly have her help you donate her things to a kid that doesnt get easter there are plenty of kids who for some reason  or another cant get a basket maybe this isnt possible this year but its something to think about, maybe if she sees how hard other kids have it she will be happier with what she has? My kids are younger so I may be way off track but its just an idea....

Answer 16

make her go to every single church on sunday starting at 8 in the morning make her easter suk then giv her the baskett

Answer 17

Easter is about christ so taking her easter basket away is not taking easter away .she needs to earn the basket by respecting you and her dad, she should be able to get it another day so she will know you are serious ,by given into her your threats won't mean a thing. so take away the easter basket but celebrate easter the resurrection of christ.

Answer 18

Give her a choice, take away easter basket and grounded on easter, or be grounded for three weeks.

Answer 19

Taking away her Easter is fine, maybe you should find her currency and take that away too (phone,friends, TV time, computer time, make-up) whatever works and let her earn it back. You should be specific about why you are taking it away and how she can earn it back. But most important is being consistent and mom and dad being on the same page.

Answer 20

As the parent, you have complete repsonsibilty over what you should do. I think it's a good decision to teach her that she shouldn't talk back and be rude. Don't feel guilty over this, you are doing the correct thing. I would say just tell her why you took away her easter, in simple form, so she can learn from that.

Answer 21

yes because if you dont do somthing now that she is younger your going to have a lot more problems when she is a teenager she needs to think about what she did its not right she yells at her parents and talks back

Answer 22

I know I will get thumbs down for this..but..it is not her fault she is spoiled!..If she grew up thinking she can act all she likes and get whatever she likes...she really knows no difference...Or, is something going on in her life to make her angry?..Either way..I thinking taking away her Easter is not a good choice. Take away something else..a privilege she has maybe..a gaming system..something like that. Easter like Christmas holds more to it then just a privilege..and it is extreme to take away a yearly tradition from a child.

Answer 23

eyeluvmykidz hit the right answer right on the nose!

You should have her take her Easter goodies and bring it to a nearby children's home as a donation. Let her see the home and talk to her about how unfortunate some other kids are that don't have parents that love them and provide for them, that some kids are alone and lonely. I'm sure she'll then realize that she is lucky to have a great family - it'll make her appreciate it more, and I bet you, she'll start behaving better.

Answer 24

I'm not a parent, but I feel like I would never take away the celebration of a holiday as a punishment.  That being said, if you already told her you were going to do it, you need to do it.  You have to follow through with what you say you are going to do.

If she is so spoiled, maybe you should make her do things for other people.  She could clean up an elderly neighbor's yard.  You could start giving her toys away to needy children.  Things like that.  You could make her give away the Easter stuff you already got her too.

I call it the "Community Service Model" of discipline.

Answer 25

Did you steal my nine year old??!!!  She started acting like a real peice of cake about a month ago!  I am in the same boat...  I am sticking to my guns because I give up too easy with her.  She'll start acting all nice and sweet with her dad and I after she's treated us like dirt and expect we will give in.  

Not this time!!!  I'm giving her the easter basket but she can't have any of it until she's ungrounded.  I feel somewhat bad... but then I start thinking about the way she acts and I snap back in to reality..  You have to show her whos boss!  She must know that there will be consiquences for her actions.  

They love to say how they don't care about this or that... in the end they do...  I thought I was the only one going through this...  To give you an example of how she acts....

If she doesn't get something she wants she will scream at the top of her lungs at us or to herself in her room so everyone hears her.

She jumps up and down on the floor,  hits the walls while she's screaming bloody murder.

She doesn't care what we say...  she hates us!

The way she is acting is all our fault since if we would have given in,  she wouldn't be going nuts!!!

If we leave her alone and act like it's not bothering us,  she'll come down and start her stuff.  ( her room is upstairs)

She will carry on for hours.  She screams and crys so loud she gets red bumps on her face.  Looses her voice,  and vomits...!!!!

It scares the c**p out of her younger sisters and stresses her father and I out something terrible.  I can do everything and still nothing works as far as dicipline...  she will go for three hours at a time.  She screams so loud,  my neighbors must think we beat her!!!!

If she can't figure her homework out,  or has to do a chore she doesn't want to do,  or doesn't get her way...  Our whole house pays for it!  If she's unhappy,  so is everyone else...  I could go on and on about her addtiude..  I don't know what's going on.....  I was considering some couseling for her..

I bet your daughter will care about her basket and papa's house come easter morning.. If she's like my daughter.. she'll start pouting when she sees she's really not getting it...  Good luck...  I hope you have a better outcome....

Answer 26

Why of all punishments take away her easter? Why not ground her from the tv/toy/anything, but easter is a holiday, those only come once a year and despite her nasty attitude I think another punishment would have been even more effective. Have her do some chores around the house, give her a time out, ground her from something, but taking away easter seems more like a strange punishment. You need to pick something more normal because there isn't always going to be a holiday to take away, so try to stick to something you can always use if the behavior continues.

I also notice that a lot of behavioral issues that kids have come from their parents. Have you asked yourself why she is acting this way, have you tried talking to her? More details would be nice.

Answer 27

Um Easter is a religious holiday. Not sure you are that religous but the true meaning of Easter is celebrating the day Jesus rose from the dead. But in less religous matters it is a day to spend with family. You shouldnt give her her basket or sweets that day. So that is right. But if you are planning to spend time with family then let her go out. Tell your family to give the Goodies to you. Tell her she isnt getting them until she behaves. (You shouldnt give them to her that day but if good give them to her the next). GREAT PARENTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 28

don't take away easter. its a holiday. just give her the basket. then on from there if she gets in trouble start taking away the candy. let her realize by that way. and start to punish her after easter. sit her down and talk to her in tone she must listen too. take her toys away. tell  her to start using the words please and sir/mam.

Answer 29

I think you should stick to your guns. If you said it then you have to carry it out. Whether good or bad you always have to mean what you say.

Personally I am a little meaner. I would make the Easter basket in front of her. Tell her she wasn't going to get it. Either put it on my dresser for her to be reminded of her bad behavior or donate it to another needy child or family. There probably is enough for everyone to share.

My daughter was very mean to my younger daughter at a birthday party. My younger one wasn't really invited. When I was dropping the older one off for the pool party they said it was okay if the younger one wanted to stay for a pool party. They did tell me they didn't have enough goody bags for her to get one. Which was fine. But when it was time to go my older child turned into a little snot and said that she was not going to share with her sister at all. She got very mouthy with me. She got a spankin for her being disrespectful which she knew it was. I put the goody bag on my dresser. Even took some of the stuff out and looked at it in front of her. Told her it was a shame she couldn't have any of these things. It sure look like fun to play with. Put it all away. Left it there for 2 months. Then sent the stuff to the cancer federation when I sent some toys there. The younger one didn't care about getting anything. She was just happy to stay and have fun. You may think this is mean but I ahve never had this problem again. She is never mouthed off like this. When I did this I made sure she knew and understood why she would not be able to have these things. My husband disagreed and felt sorry for her but did not give in. Now seeing the results he said that he would do it again if it ever had to be. Respecting everyone in the house is very important to us. She wouldn't have had to give everything to the younger one. the younger one wouldn't have taken anything except a piece of candy maybe.

If you don't get her under control now how will she be when she is older. When my kids on in trouble I buy them nothing at all. Bad behavior is never rewarded in my house.

Good luck