Punishment for a 15 yr. old that poured boiling hot water on the back of his 13 yr. old brother's neck (bliste

Question

My youngest son has big blisters on the back of his neck. They do fight a lot, but at the time, my 13 yr. old was just washing his hair. Need to have some punishment ideas for hurting his brother. Want to ground him to his room for 30 days, without any entertainment. Can only come out for the bathroom, to eat and go to school. Is this too strict, and if so, what other ideas for punishment are there. Too old to spank.

Answer 1

Sounds perfectly fair.  you could always approach the police and get ask them to caution him so that he understands the seriousness of what he has done to his brother.

Maybe 30 days is too much, 2/3 weeks instead as it may be dfficult for you to implement it for a full 30 days which may make him feel like he has got away with it a bit.

Good luck with them.

Answer 2

he poured boiling water on his brothers neck, your punishment is too light

Answer 3

Send him to boot camp for 60 days then after that he'll have learned his lesson=)

Answer 4

Send him to boot camp or something, 30 days of grounding does not cut it, he gave his brother second degree burns!  Had his brother been hit in the face he could have been blind.  Both of them need counseling, and you need to have a zero tolerance on fighting from now on. You need to end this now or Child Protective services will take your kids.

Answer 5

i think u should take away EVERYTHING!!!!! everything needs to go out of his room for a month except for a bed and a dresser......no cell phone...tv...internet...friends....he needs to know thats not right.....also....it wouldnt hurt to attend to the other child......let him know u mean bisness

Answer 6

that sounds like a good punishment..doing that was serious and something worse could have happened so that sounds like a fair punishment.

Answer 7

Grounding is good---but don't completely isolate him from the family.

Did he realize the water was boiling when he poured it on him? Or did he just think it was hot? I mean, did he get it from a steaming kettle? If he took the time to boil water on the stove and then dumped it on his brother then he might nee more than a grounding. If he dumped the water impulsively he still needs punishment but it isn't quite as scary.

Since his brother has blisters and will be sore then I would like to add additional punishment: he needs to do his brothers chores and help him out.

The logic: since younger brother is hurt and no longer able to make his bed (etc) then older brother (who made it so YB couldn't do the work) has to do the work instead. He can carry his brother's book bag, pick up his dirty laundry, etc.

Don't let the 13 get obnoxious with this, set some limits, but IMO the older brother needs to do something to make restitution/ help the one he hurt. Having him sit in his room will not help the 13 yr old, but carrying the kids books will help him.

Maybe if the 15 sees how difficult and painful life is for the kid he will never ever do something so cruel again..

See if you can find any info on how painful burns can be---look at hospital and other websites.

I know a nurse who worked with burn patients for years and she always said that they were the most painful of injuries. People with bad burns were sometimes kept unconscious because if they were awake the pain was horrific and there is a limit on how many painkillers you can take.

Answer 8

i would have the police talk to him. play it off like they are about to arrest him for assault, then decide not to at the last second.

then ground him like you described for a week.

Answer 9

I think I might just call the cops on the 15 year old and let them explain just how bad it is. He needs to be punished, and severely, but he also needs to realize that nothing you do is as bad as what the 'real world' would do to him. If that was some other kid he did that to, the parents would have him arrested and he would have a record. I am not saying you should do that (unless he routinely abuses his brother) but just to let him know how serious it is.

Answer 10

u think its to old to spank him...they are not to old to spank until they are eighteen....look maybe u should send him to boot camp...it will teach him manners and respect...then when he comes back still punish him...make him relive those awful days of boot camp..it that doent work thensend him away to a family member that he hates.....trust mee it will work sooner or later

Answer 11

mental help might help.ive 2 boys ones 16 ,13,i havent hit them for ages, but last night the oldest hit the youngest,so i told him if he feels he can hit his younger brother i can hit him,as for scolding thats very serious,children arent always good,dont be afraid to help for proffessional help we turned it down rescently but i feel now we made the wrong choice

Answer 12

i don't think that is strict enough to be honest, and I'm 14, that would suck.

Answer 13

Sorry to say this but he sounds like big trouble waiting to happen. That is an extremely violent act. I don't know if grounding would be such a good idea. What you are describing is basically solitary confinement.

By the sounds of this kid he is simmering big time. He will sit in his room getting more and more pee'd off with his brother and blame him for everything.

Is he aware that his behaivour was abhorrent? Is he sorry?

Have you considered councilling for him? I don't know. If I'm over-reacting, I'm sorry.

Just keep a look out for the mutilated corpses of neighbourhood pets in your backyard. Sorry. :)

.........................................

I've thought about this a bit more. Have you considered still grounding him for about a month but rather than making him wallow in his room, use the time to force family related activities on him.

What I mean is - have a family video night, or a games night. Take both kids to the park and play frisbee or something. Different things that encourage togetherness and team-work (jeez - I'm starting to sound like Jo Frost 'Supernanny'). Paintballing is good too (make sure the boys are on the same side though). There's loads of things. Oh - just thought of another - go to a climbing wall. Kayaking.....

Don't alienate him. Work with him. Sending him to his room and making him stay there is an easy option but it's not going to help him in the long run. Or you. Or your other son.

Good luck.

Answer 14

This has got to be a b.s. story because if this really happened you would not be asking what type of punishment to give but how to get your oldest son out of a juvenile detention center or child protective services or something. I say this because out of my experience, when you take a child to an e.r. (which you did not say you did but would have had to if your child's back is blistered and if you didn't you would be fighting to get both of them back) if they think there is something out of sorts about the injury (and a blistered back will draw attention) child protection is called and in extreme cases (as this sounds like one) the cops as well. You would have definately lost the older son and possibly the younger for allowing such a situation to exist.

So my answer to you is at least if you are going to post b.s. questions, don't make them about the abuse of children because it's not funny.

Answer 15

Well everything your doing is enough,, What would make the 15 year pour boiling hot water on his brother to begin with?

They may fight alot but this doesn't sound like just an brother to brother fight. If the school finds out they might call child services..

After you ground him from everything..you should ask him as to why he would do something this bad.

Answer 16

eye for an eye

Answer 17

This isn't going to be a popular answer but this was a very mean, spiteful thing to do.  On top of that punishment you already have I'd have a police officer talk to him.  Not to go to jail just to explain the idea of abuse and anger.  He may need some sort of therapy.  This isn't something kids usually do to each other.  I have three boys and one girl and not one of them did anything as serious as this.  You need to stop this now because it could get worse.  This is a very serious thing your son has done, but I know you realize that.  I'd talk to him and tell him what a horrible thing he did.  You know what is scary is that this wasn't something that was done in the heat of an arguement.  He had to go out of his way to boil the water. He planned this.  He needs help.  I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

Answer 18

You are a failure as a parent.  You want to ground your kid for melting your other kids skin off?  What a joke.  You need to report this to the police and he needs to go to jail.  If your worthless child did somethig like that to my kid I would personally punish him, and you would have to ID him at the morgue.  No wonder we have the amount of violent crime in our country.  You should have your kids taken from you because you are a terrible failure as a parent.

Answer 19

i would make it two months. what he did was so ugly!

Answer 20

Oh my! Wow! Ok,well first off,grounding doesnt do anything to a kid,I know,because I am a kid.You might want to think about talking to him,ask these Q's:Why did you do what you did? (and give him plenty of time to think about it,dont rush kids,it can make them very frusterated!)What are some consequenses you think are fair for you to recive because of what you did? (let him think about it,once again,give him time but let him think of some good consequenses BUT you must be the one to make the FINAL decision,dont give into a grounding or weed pulling!) Always have a calm voice,you must never yell because when you yell or shout,the kids tune you out,trust me on that one,I do the same to my mom! Here are some things NOT to do for a concequence towards your son:

1.Dont ground him!

2.Dont take ANYTHING away! (he might seem like he cares,but he really dosent!)

3.Dont threatin to do things like hit,ground,no friends or watever!

4.Dont say,"You cant see your friends,go hang out with...." (it NEVER works!)

Here is something that might help,my mom has all the books,but never uses them...so when im older,Im going to be a MUCH better mother than she ever was or will be!

Website: http://www.loveandlogic.com/faq.html

Book/CD orders: http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keyword...

I hope I helped!

Never to far,

♥Kaylee♥

Answer 21

=O How about Boot Camp!

Answer 22

He is responsible for the damages he caused.  If you took your son to the doctor, and/or dermatologist for a prescription to place on the wound, your 15 yr. old son must pay in full for the medical costs.  If he does not have the money, he must earn it thru jobs.

30 days of grounding is not too severe.  No friends, no phone calls from home, no cell, no TV/electronics.

I would make him write an apology letter --2 of them.  1 to your son, and 1 to you.  It must be sincere, and it must state "how it made that person (you/13 yr. son) feel."  So he must connect with feelings that you both felt from the incident.  It is also written documentation that he did this.

If he was able to carry out that dangerous act, I would want in writing (his confession, if you will) so you or another will not be blamed.  (If he were to lie later, and deny it)

And I agree that he must write an essay on Burns.  He must go to the library or purchase a book on Burns and write a descriptive essay on the diff. types of burns and treatment for them.  1st degree burn, 2nd degree burns, and 3rd degree.  Also included in the paper is death caused by burns.  And what treatment goes on in a burn unit.  No seeking info by computer...thats electronic.  The old fashioned way, thru a book.

Im sorry you have this issue and I hope your 13yr old heals quickly.

Answer 23

nope thats fine...he has to learn

Answer 24

I think that punishment is perfect. If it wasn't your son I would recommend you call the police. This is really serious behaviour he could have scarred his brother for life. I think that you should consider getting the boy assessed by a psychologist, this is not normal behaviour for any fifteen year old and he could pose a threat to others.

Answer 25

not at all to strict.. he might be to old to spank.. but a good wack upside the head is ok.. stay committed to your punishment though.. bc if you give any leeway then he wont take what he did serious.. make him look at it everyday..(the wound on your other boy).. figure out a way to make him feel sooo bad.. guilt is the worse thing..

Answer 26

Not that therapy is a punishment, but it might be something you want to give a LOT of thought to.

Answer 27

I think that's a great idea.  His actions could have had VERY serious consequences. I would be so angry if I were you.  I think I would give him assignments to do too.  Make him go to the library and research burns and write a paper on what could come of them.  Have him call and see if he can meet with a nurse from the burn unit at a hospital so that he can understand the severity of burning someone.  He would need to write a letter of apology to his brother.  And I would want a letter too explaining why he did this.  Every time that I had to sit down and treat his brothers burns I would have him come in the room so that he could see how much his complete disregard for his brother, how much it still hurts his brother.  Oh I would be so livid if I were you!  I'm getting mad thinking of it now.  and guess what, if I were his mom, I think I would beat his big 15 year old behind, old school style (with the belt).  And the next time he so much dares as to raise a hand to his brother, he'll think twice.  Now if they get in fights in the future, seperate them.  My boys fight at times too, and when I seperate them it tends to work.  oh my.

i just read some of the other answers, and I agree, you should definitely get him in some sort of counseling for just him and then as a family to make sure that  you work through any other issues that could be causing this behavior.

Answer 28

that horrible..........i bet your ready to kill him........wow.......

I dont' think its too strict at all.

I think I may of gotten the police involved.........that is horrible.

Answer 29

I think that is an appropriate punishment. But if he is just sitting in his room for such long periods he may just get more angry and think of other ways to cause harm which would be counterproductive. Maybe consider making him do chores, clean the garage, wash the walls, the stuff that most people don't want to do. He won't be happy about it but he will be keeping busy and not having any fun.

Answer 30

Wow. Oh wow. My first thought was kill him (not really kill, but geesh!) or spank him till your hand fell off. Wow. That is such a serious thing to have done to a sibling! I think the punishment you have picked is mild. If he complains, I'd add a day per complaint. He's lucky he didn't permanently disfigure his brother or cause an ER trip!

Answer 31

Honestly?

I would make the 15 year old do the wound dressings for the 13 year old. That way, he could see exactly the type of pain and damage he caused his little brother. I would also make him pay for all prescriptions and wound dressings out of his pocket money.

As for the 30 days in his room. I do agree with that but thats gonna lead to one h**l of a cranky teenager, who will more than likely resent his little brother even more, not to mention his parents.

I would also make him watch some medical stories on badly burned children, so he could see just how dangerous his actions were, especially if the water had been only a few degrees hotter. You could probably download some old 60 minutes stories or Amazing Medical Stories from Youtube?