Pushes our kids to grow up faster, ie more chores, homework, etc

Question

I heard many parents say "if your child is 12, he/she should still be playing with dolls and action figures." What is wrong with these people???

Hear is what I think:

My daughter was always interested in science and stuff and I bought her first chemistry set when she was 8. When she became 12, I started taking away her "baby toys" such as action figures and her doll house that she had and told her that she was know too old for this. Know I am pushing her to increase the amount of time she spends studying, taking harder and harder courses in school, read more books, especially science, since that is her interest, and even summer school.

She know has a boyfriend which I do not mind her having, as I think 12 is the right time for boys and girls to start getting together and dating and stuff but I enforce strict curfews on her for sure.

This is how it is in Europe. I remember when I was in "junior" school in Yugoslavia, I had time to go out and play on the weekends a BIT! I would be at home tackling mathmateics, science and literature.

Question

Shouldn't we just push our children in their early teens to "grow up" a bi faster, you know, more home work, summer school or maybe a job over the summer, not object so much to them going out on a date, teach them about safe s*x and basically force them to mature faster??

This is how it is in Europe, and their is less gangs, less teen violence, teen pregnancies, etc.

Why do the parents not know how to think in the US, they think "oh, 12, 13, they should just still be treated as "kids"" WRONG!!!!!

Answer 1

I wsh my parents let me have a job in the summer!

Answer 2

first the smartest children are not in europe!! and second your a awful mother!! i child should be a child as long as possible. instead of getting pregnant like yours will.

dolls dont hurt anything. and you should make your young daughter into a adult robot!! she is not a woman so STOP TREATING HER LIKE ONE! have some sense woman!

were you dropped on your head????!  

Answer 3

I am also from Europe, and I agree that the system there where children are treated differently has resulted in better academic results for European children.  Even though the USA has a higher GDP the education level keeps getting lower.

My children's school principal once made a comment about how "young" my children are.  But on the other hand, they are very respectful of their teachers; one even commented on my son being a gentlemen because these days anything goes - which means that the teacher is constantly interrupted.  Who is going to learn in that atmosphere.  My daughter is also a very strong athlete and an amazing athlete.  She became very upset once when one of her teammates lied about my daughter scoring on her.  It made my daughter crazy that this girl was so calculating.

I would not change how I parent my children.

Answer 4

Why are you bashing the U.S.?  Just because another country raises kids differently, doesn't mean all the kids here in the U.S. are 12 year old babies.  My god, kids 12 and 13 are far more grown up than I ever was 20 years ago.  However, if my 12 year old still likes dollhouses, by god, I'll let her play with it until *she* thinks it's baby-ish.

And sure when I was 12 (7th grade?) I had a boyfriend too and we did things together, usually with a group of friends, and held hands and maybe kissed on the lips or cheek, but we didn't like make-out!  Not every kid in the U.S. is what you say. I'm not sure where you got your information.

Answer 5

If this is a serious question, then that's just wrong.

You should let your daughter enjoy her childhood.

What next, are you going to encourage her to lose her virginity before she turns 13 ?

Answer 6

Firstly: You are generalizing

Secondly: You get one life and one childhood, enjoy it.

Third: Of course Europe has more famous historical figures we are counting eight-hundred years for Europe, since the dark ages, to produce scientists artists etc.. Since we aren't counting Native Americans in this scenario  the United States has had only a little over three or five hundred, depending on whether or not you want to count the colonies as America or British as we shared so much culture at that point.

Fourth: Have you ever lived in America. If not it can be assumed that you hear mainly about geniuses and parenting techniques in Europe just as Americans hear mostly about those in America.

Fifth: Do not insult others education until you can use proper grammar.

Sixth: Their are forty-five countries in Europe, as I stated in point one, you can not generalize all of their teenagers.

Seventh: Yahoo answers is for questions that you would like other people to answer. It is not for rants. Please read the community guidelines. In addition stereotyping, ranting, and being rude to a group of people is immature.

I'm not trying to be hypocritical here just stating the facts as I see them. You are free to your own views just don't expect others to agree.

Answer 7

You lost me when you said,"I think 12 is the right time for boys and girls to start getting together and dating......."

Answer 8

You had me until your smart a** remark about how kids are smarter in Europe... yada yada.

I agree with what you've said about trying to stimulate the minds of our youth, but I happen to be an American citizen who received the same dose of treatment you're apparently handing out to your daughter. I am highly educated - received high marks throughout all my years in school and made the Dean's List in college.

Furthermore, I believe you meant to write "Now" and not "Know". Otherwise, your sentence doesn't make sense. You have additional grammatical errors as well, but I think I've made my point.

As for the whole dating at the age of 12... I'd keep an eye on that. I wasn't allowed to date until much later to REALLY focus on my studies. That might explain why I'm 29 and only now having my first child, instead of ending up a pregnant teen mommy like so many other girls I went to school with.  

Answer 9

that's the problem, you are only young once and if you force kids to grow up in an academic sense, they will "grow up" in ways that parents don't want them to grow up in, I mean no one likes watching their kids grow up into sexual beings, but if we force adult life on them, they will be more like an adult in more ways then we want or they need. When kids were age appropriate, we had less problems, and now that we are telling them to grow up and be mature, they will be mature in all those ways.  

Answer 10

I live in the US and I happen to agree with you completely.  I think that parents nowadays do not instill good values and skills in their children that will ensure that they can function properly as adults.  This is proven by the climbing rates of the number of 20-28 yr olds still living at home with mommy and daddy!  It's ridiculous!  They are never forced to grow up and so you end up taking care of them for longer.  We need to teach our children to be more independent.

Answer 11

I was never pushed to do more (as in too much or grow up faster), I was encouraged to do my best, and assisted when I wasn't. I played with doll house in high school (with my younger siblings) I enjoyed it and I'm not ashamed and do not regret it. I probably played with dolls in high school too, or at least through middle school. If someone finds somehting fun, don't take it away, unless it is somehting bad or inappropriate. My brother and his friend (both almost 14 yrs old) still play with legos, dragons, and pirates, and they are both in the top of their class! Toys are fun no matter what age you are. When I babysit i still enjoy sitting down and playing Barbie's or doll house with a little girl. It is a parenting choice, and half of the people will criticize you either way you choose to parent. If you feel it is best to take toys away that make your child happy, then if you can tear it away from them go ahead. If you can't find it in you to take a toy that your child loves away, then don't. If you child plays with a toy way too much, then yeah definitely take it away temporarily. In my opinion, let kids grow up at their own pace, as long as they can interact with their peers successfully and do their best in school, yes let them be kids! I work in a daycare center with kids up to 13 or 14 (older kids come b/c it is fun-they ENJOY playing games and toys with kids around their age, and even helping younger kids. Who really cares if the people in Europe are smarter, are they any happier? You only get one life to live, in the end does it matter where you placed in your class, how well you did in sports, or how much money you make?? Not really, you may have a little bit of pride inside, but other doing things you enjoy can also build up the pride you need. Be happy, have fun!

Even though I played with dolls past age 12, I am a perfectly capable of being a functioning member of society,if not more. The dolls and toys didn't stop me from doing well, as I am a Junior in college and have made the Dean's list all 4 semesters in school, and I am ahead in my courses. I have gotten almost 10 different scholarships for college, won awards in athletics and other areas for sportsmanship, leadership, and many other reasons. I am very involved with my church and youth group; I help raise money to better help the teenagers attending the youth group. My family also enjoys volunteering in our free time to help those in need. Despite my enjoying toys you considering to be "baby toys," I still had/have a great group of friends; my friends were mature, smart and all around "good kids." Overall, the doll house didn't have a lasting affect on my growing intellectually or as a person, if anything it helped be to be more imaginative and more creative. I have also never been involved with drugs, alcohol, s*x, gangs, I have a clean record, not even a detention! But my parents could have made me miserable by taking away many things that made me happy, and I guess I could have screwed up because I was angry at the world for ruining my life. I may not be a famous scientist, author, or won the Nobel Peace Prize, but I am proud of myself for my accomplishments, and also thankful to my parents for the way they raised me. In order to be happy, you need a good balance of activities in your life, and schoolwork and studying consuming 95% of that time would make me miserable, I spent enough time studying alone and with my parents, I feel i needed and deserved time to just have fun. When kids play a game, do we teach them it is about being the best or having fun? It's totally all about the fun. Should we teach kids that it is all about being the smartest person, the richest, or becoming famous, or should we teach kids that yes it is important to do well, but ourselves and others shouldn't be miserable doing it?

Answer 12

i'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish with this question. are you legitimately trying to find an answer to your question or are you trying to belittle america and our youth? i find myself believing the latter.

while you were spending your weekends studying and giving your child the opportunity to do so herself, you didn't find it important to learn the proper grammar and spelling for simple writing?

i'd suggest that next time you decide to rag on the intelligence of our youth, whether aimed at americans specifically or not, you take the time to use spell check. i give no merit whatsoever to this question.