Q & A observed here...Why does it seem that for most marital problems the advice is to get a divorce ?

Question

The same type of problems existed but our grandparents toughed them up and survived the marriage.

Answer 1

Good question, I've wondered this as well!  Though marriage can be difficult, I hardly think divorce is always a good solution.  You have to work at it, tough it out and actually try.  If you didn't want the commitment of marriage, then why be married?

Answer 2

i've noticed the same thing.  um, for people that spend lots and lots of time on yahoo answers and the internet, maybe that's not the way to foster good relationships.  before the internet, and before cellphones, we had more privacy and didn't turn to strangers for answers whose only qualification is an email address.

but also, the focus seems to be on the "quick fix", sometimes you just gotta do the whole "for better or worse" thing, go through the hard times without bailing on your spouse.

also casual "physical intimacy" of our culture, where s*x on the first date is commonplace, and infidelity is as accessible as your computer screen at home and at work have not helped at all.

divorce doesn't fix anything, it usually creates far more problems than it solves.  abuse of course being the exception.  

Answer 3

Because the people in the marriage shouldn't have to feel like they are forced to stay with someone they are unhappy with.

Answer 4

We live in a world where people make instant coffee in a microwave oven while screaming "hurry up!"  The idea of COMMITMENT is not politically correct today.  It is always easier to cut-and-run than it would be to live up to one's promises.  Society accepts this today, so the behavior is not only tolerated but encouraged.  Our grandparents lived in a time when commitment meant something.

Answer 5

true... very true .. they "made their beds " etc..

i honestly think people today  try and find the easy way out instead of dealing with the problems of a marriage .. they just leave...  they all think it is the easiest but it is not.... it is actually harder in the long run..  

Answer 6

Because it is easy to give up when you don't know what you want.  Instead of talking things out, a lot of people run away, or say things like You will never understand me, whats the sense in staying.  Instead of what can we do to fix this.  Fixing marital problems means you have to look very closely in the mirror.  That frightens most people, in my experience.  That's where the work begins.  I myself had an extremely hard time looking in the mirror.  I didn't really like what I saw, so I started to change for the better.  Then I noticed my husband changing for the better without a word from me.  It's like dealing with things in a positive way, spills off onto other people.    

Answer 7

I'm 51 and a grandparent.  We did not tough it out!!  I've been through 3 ex husbands who beat me and my kids!!  Who all cheated!!  

I surely won't come on her and answer a question and tell one who is being abused to stay. I refuse to tell one who is being cheated on to stay!   TO me, those who stay  have NO LIFE  no self respect!!  WE ALL DESERVE TO HAVE THOSE THINGS!!!!   ALL OF US!!!

I don't tell everyone who had drug or booze problems to leave  their spouse   there are a lot of different counseling things you can seek out and get help.

MY OWN grandparents DID NOT tough it out and keep a failed marriage going.  Makes way toooooo many unhappy people in the futrue if they do.   How many families who you see that are unhappy, but stay together cuz of the kids?   DO you see any of them SMILE??  NO  why raise a generation of unhappy people??    Hope we will run across a generation who DON'T CHEAT< ABUSE< or hate.

Answer 8

Back when our grandparents were newlyweds, the thought of divorce was taboo. No self respecting woman would ever dare be divorced or she'd be looked upon as some sort of "hussy" and women would try to shoo their husbands away for fear of them getting some sort of divorcee plague.  But back then, alot of people also just stayed married and dealt with their unhappiness and believed that this was a choice they made and they were going to stick it out till the end, especially if children were involved.  Wives pretended not to see cheating, husbands drank.  The same principals apply today, but thankfully, women (and men) don't have to stay married for fear of having a reputation.  Yes, the courts have made it easier to obtain a divorce now than there ever has been.  I wonder how many of our grandparents were really happy tho.  I mean really happy?  What if they were married to an abuser, or a drunk?  How happy of a marriage is that?  Today, married people don't have to stay married and most of the time it's not even good for the children to remain in a family where the parents have no love or someone is wronging the other.  No one benefits.  If a situation seems bleak, why not leave?  Why spend your entire life with someone only to find out when you take your last breath that you might have been able to change that?  Who wants to live with that regret (or die with it)?  

While I believe there are marital issues that can easily be remedied by both parties (and no therapist) I do believe there are situations where staying married is not an option any longer and why do that to either person?  Everyone deserves happiness...not to just feel stuck and trapped.  I don't know if you're married and if so, if you're happy.  I myself am in marriage #2.  First husband was a verbal and physical abuser so I divorced him.  Current husband is an alcoholic who crossed the line last night and physically abused me.  So should I stay and stick this out like my grandparents did?  Who knows.  I think divorce should fit the individual.  

Answer 9

The same reason we have more murders, rapes, suicides, etc. Because now everyone goes for the quick fix or easy way out, no one is willing to work for a good thing. Murder instead of facing up to mistakes and arguments. Rapes because someone can't get their way and aren't willing to wait for the real thing. Suicides because the pain is unbarable in themoment and they don't think about the future they're throwing away.

We are a lazy, selfish and impatient generation as sad as it is. :-[