Q REPOST: JUST MARRIED ANNOUNCEMENTS - how about this, PLZ HELP?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

Question

Hi me and my partner are secretly getting married on December 20th, We plan to tell close family the next day and send out announcement cards to every one else. I have akready made the cards and they are looking beautiful. I am just strggling with the final details. what about inside the card:

"Mr So and So and Miss So and so

were joined in marriage

at a secret ceremony on December 20th

2008 at 3.45pm. We would like to invite you

to join us for a celebration dinner at The Oaks, Norwich

on Saturday 3rd January 2008."

"Mr So and So and Miss So and so

were joined in marriage

at a private ceremony on December 20th

2008 at 3.45pm. We would like to invite you

to join us for a celebration dinner at The Oaks, Norwich

on Saturday 3rd January 2008."

"Mr So and So and Miss So and so

were secretly joined in marriage on December 20th

2008 at 3.45pm. We would like to invite you

to join us for a celebration dinner at The Oaks, Norwich

on Saturday 3rd January 2008."

What do you think?

Everyone says private is better than secret - and I agree! But I am worried that saying Private, people will think that there were more people than just me and my partner and our witnesses there, That it was an exclusive ceremony that was private to them.

What do you think?

If I leave out both and put "mr so and so and miss so and so were joined in marriage on blah blah date" im worried people will think that people were invited

PS: Everytime i post a question asking for help with my wedding people have a nasty habit of judging my plans. I should not have to justify why I dont want my family there, so please try not to say "they'll be so hurt" as you dont know them."

Answer 1

Well. saying "mr so and so and miss so and so" and then saying "we invite you" sounds weird.  I would write.

"In a secret ceremony on December 20th 2008 Mr So and So and Miss So and So were joined in marriage.  Now that the secret is out, they want you to join them as they celebrate their love at The Oaks, Norwich on January 3rd 2009"

I think it makes it more fun saying its a "secret" this way you dont have to worry about people thinking others were invited and not them.. BUT thats just what I would do!

Answer 2

the honor of your presence

is joyfully requested

on saturday, january 3rd, 2009

at 5:00 pm

at

the oaks, norwich

to celebrate the wedding of

miss red cat and mr john jones

which took place

december 20, 2009

this would be the most correct wording.

Answer 3

Personally, when I hear private ceremony I think of just the 2 of them and a couple witnesses, at most maybe some family present.  I think you should be safe.

Answer 4

To be perfectly honest here, why not word it using elopement? Common knowledge is that an elopement is just the bride & groom....

You could have the words 'We've Eloped!' on the front, therefore using the words private and secret will not be nessesary...just state So and So were joined in marriage.....

I am warning you, Hon, using the word secret will cause a lot of problems for you, yes it's semantics but words can be powerful....

Answer 5

i like the second one

Answer 6

If you use the word 'eloped', people will know it was in secret and was private, so it covers both bases.

Answer 7

i like the second one.

you could always add the word Intimate in it. "A private and intimate ceremony" or something like that. It may make it sound more that it was secret without using the word secret.

Also, i don't think you need the time of the ceremony on there.... it doesn't really matter. But you do need the time for the dinner because people will actually be attending it.  

Answer 8

heh, my family are of the opinion that once you are past 30 you should just elope and tell everyone about it later.  So there is no problem here.

I think private ceremony is better than secret ceremony but I agree there is the potential for upset for someone to assume that they weren't invited to the wedding.

Do you have an objection to saying you eloped?

Mr So and So and Miss So and So eloped on Dec 20, 2008 etc, etc,

Answer 9

I  don't think you should put either private or secret in the wording. You could just leave out your parents name but this is what ours said. Just put that you are announcing your wedding that way they know it already happened.



Mr & Mrs My parents are  pleased to announce

the marriage of their daughter

My name

to

Mr. Hubby's name

On date and time

We would like you to join us in a celebration of their marriage on

Date and Time at place.

Answer 10

i like the second one, too.

Answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 11

Well, you'll have to have the witnesses there, two, i think.  So when people ask who was invited just be a little snarky and say , "oh, me, (hubby's name), the officient, and Joe and Mary, who signed the papers."  You'll have to deal with people being snarky back at you anyways, best to get the first jab!

Answer 12

"Private" sounds much better than "secret".

Don't worry about what people will think, even if it there were other people there they would survive. You chose to keep it incredibly intimate, and whether that means parents and a friend or just the couple, it is your choice. It is rude to question the guest list at a wedding, so if anyone gives you problems just explain that you wanted to elope, which means no one not even them. It isn't anything against them, you just wanted this to be as intimate and small as possible. If they harass you, end the conversation politely.

ADD: I would give them more warning than 2 weeks, especially since its right after two holidays. If people need to work (yes people work on weekends), they may not want to ask for time off if they just took a vacation. They may also just be getting home and relaxing after a bunch of family events. Could you try and move it to the end of the month?

You could also send invites to a different party. Send out invited to your New Years Party (explain you wanted to wait until the Saturday or that you wanted to be sure everyone could attend), then tell close family members in private and announce the elopement to everyone else at the party. Then it would be very clear that they were not the only ones left out, since everyone around them would also be shocked.

Make sure you get the year right!! January 2008 already passed, this January will be 2009!

Answer 13

I think it's great what you're doing, keep the drama to a minimum! :)

Personally, secret signifies that there was a wedding I wasn't invited to more than private does.

You could also say "intimate ceremony" to indicate that it was just a few people. Might come off better than private.  

Answer 14

How about saying that you eloped?  That would imply that there was only you and witnesses there.  

Not trying to judge, just trying to be helpful - if you send them out after you get married on the 20th and have your dinner on the 3rd of January, that doesn't give people much time to plan to be there.  Especially with it being around the holidays.

Answer 15

Hi.  Since you said this is a re-post...I will answer again.

I have another idea for you....like this...

~ Again, I would leave the formal "Mr." and "Miss" off and use your given names (as is typical of an invitation.)

~ Why don't you do the inviting FIRST, since, after all, this IS an invitation to a reception.  And then at the end, state "were married privately."

~ I understand your worry about people thinking they were excluded, so instead of saying "in a private ceremony" say "privately."  

Here is my idea:

Kristen Jo Thompson

and

Michael William Smith

invite you to a dinner reception celebrating

their marriage

on

Saturday, the third of January

two thousand and nine

six o'clock in the evening

The Oaks

111 Center Street

Norwich

Kristin and Michael were married

privately on December 20, 2008

Hope this helps!

Answer 16

I don't think private makes it sound like there were more people there than secret does.  Both sound like a tiny ceremony with very few people there.  Secret just makes it sound like it was more cliquey to me if that makes sense.

The people who are closest to you are going to end up hearing who was at the ceremony anyway.  And if somebody is not even close enough for you to be able to tell them who was there, then it's not their business who was or wasn't there anyway.  

Answer 17

Yea the second one sounds good oh pls don't use the word secret it got me and my wife intruble with other family and friends that wore not invited trust me its a pain in the a** later. congratulations

Answer 18

Don't use either. Just say   Joined in Marriage on ...

No explanation should be put on an announcement. At the reception just say you and your groom had a small wedding with immediately family