Q for women. if a man who strongly believes in the gender roles hit on you,?

Question

And suppose you liked him,

how would you reject his beliefs and educate and elighten him so that he'll absorb your feminist ideology?

would u just let him run away from you? or would you prove how he was wrong?

Answer 1

I married him, and boy its great

Answer 2

I would probably not reject his beliefs as such, but accept them and use them to try and maybe adjust his views slightly, or make him accept that gender roles aren't as important as some people make them out to be.

Answer 3

I think is difficult to change that particular point of view. I suppose I would think it will never work and I would stop to try and I would look for another boy who fits me better.

Answer 4

You can't change anyone.  You can try to compromise and meet him halfway but if you're a hardcore feminist and he's a hardcore tradionalist, you just have to accept that you're different people who want two different things out of life.  Even if you do really like him, it's probably not going to work.  That's a biggie and if you're fundamentally different when it comes to how you expect to live your lives it's best to just walk away now.

Answer 5

I would welcome it. I'm not a push-over or submissive by any means. And a man that is strong in himself and his beliefs won't need me to be either. But I would like to have a man and a relationship that has a clear deliniation of duties and he treated me as if I was a queen. As long as he can respect me, allow my to voice my opinions and take them into consideration and take the responsibilities that come along with being "traditional" very seriously, I don't see the problem.

Answer 6

all relationship are built on comprise

if you like him you can work together to make your relationship work  this is not the 50's

Answer 7

My guy is pretty traditional.  He's all about me taking his name, holding doors for me, and paying for dinner.  His family is very conservative and structured around traditional gender roles, so that's really all he's known.

We live in a very conservative, traditional area and he had never dated anyone who was as anti-gender roles as I am (and I don't really consider myself a "die-hard") but since we've been together he has became much more open minded about everything... he loves me he has become very adamant that I do what I want to do.. no matter what that is, just so that I am happy.

He'll joke and say.. you're my woman cook me dinner, but he laughs and either helps me cook, or makes me a can of soup and a grilled cheese :)

He is still likes to "take care" of me, but does not expect me to submit to him at all.

I think I've taught him well.

Answer 8

I can't imagine being attracted in any more than a fleeting physical way to a man who strongly believed in gender roles.

I might have a fling with him but I couldn't be bothered with trying to make a relationship out of it. Too many other, better fish in the sea :-)

Answer 9

I am not a mordern day feminist so, my husband's traditional views are fine with me. I love him being the boss. He is a hard worker and would do anything to protect my baby and me from being financially unstable if that meant holding two jobs. I would work too, but he would insist that he just has a 2nd job before sending me out into the work force. I love him for it. He sees the importance of me raising our baby and not some stranger in the day care system.

Answer 10

Let him run away? I would be the one doing the running. Life is too short to live it stifled and put in a little slot.

Answer 11

I wouldn't bother. I can't romantically like a guy whose beliefs are so different from mine.

Answer 12

I would have never liked a man who strongly believe in gender roles. Right from the very start this kind of man know which type of women he can 'change' or 'lead'.

I would just laugh in his face....there is nothing more off putting than a man who thinks that, just because he has a p***s, he should be the boss.

Answer 13

I'm dating a man who holds traditional views so I'm in that exact same situation right now. We're at the point where we talk about marriage and babies...and him not wanting me to work when I have a baby.

Right now, I not only work, but I cook and clean (wonderfully, I might add). I can be a superwoman like this with no problems while I don't have any children. I imagine it would be intense trying to cook, clean and raise a baby AND have 40+ hour a week career.

I love my man and his beliefs, even if I disagree with them. I think what will work out for me is taking work off for the first 2 years of the child's life, or working part time and having child care. I'm not a budgeter. I don't ever want to live on one income. I splurge, not save and my wardrobe shouldn't have to suffer just because I start popping out babies.

I'm not going to let him run away from me NOR try to fight his beliefs. I'm going to compromise. He knows that I believe strongly in a lot of things, but when it comes down to it, there's some compromises I'm willing to make for someone as perfect as he is. If he wants a stay at home, supper cooking, floor sweeping wife, he'll get one - but only part time.

Answer 14

I would not pursue him.

Answer 15

But I wouldn't like him. WOuldn't matter how good looking he was, if he's a d**k I wouldn't find him attractive.

Answer 16

Prove how he is wrong.

Answer 17

Well, it's not an issue for me.  Why? Because ever since my teens, I've tended to lay my cards on the table right off the bat. My mother and sister used to get upset with me for doing that, but I am a very direct person where men are concerned, and I don't believe in playing coquettish "romance and dating" games...or pretending to be someone I'm not just to have a boyfriend!  When I was in high school, I saw too many girls and women doing that, and it usually all ends in tears...

So way back then, I let the potential date know straight off I am a feminist, and then they have the option to either stick around or keep on stepping.  I didn't try to change their opinion, and I refuse to change my life for them. Most of them didn't date me, but we did wind up being platonic friends (and sometimes FWB)...and that was just fine with me.

Everyone kept saying, you're making a mistake. You'll never get a man with that attitude.  Sure, some guys won't date a feminist, but so what? I figure it's better to be honest about who you are...it saves time and lets you be open to finding the fellows who let you be yourself.  I made that mistake once of compromising...of going into denial and marrying a guy who turned out to be a "traditionalist"...but never again. Way I see it, I'd rather be alone than settle for someone who does not share my basic values and/or who is unable to appreciate and love me just as I am. Life's just too short for that.

Thank goodness men of quality aren't threatened by women seeking equality.  It wasn't easy to find such a man, but they are out there.  Fortunately, I found Mr. Right...and I found him after the age of 40...12 years after a teen marriage that ended in divorce.  I've been with my sweetie since 2001...we have common goals and values, and we've not killed each other yet, so that must be a good sign.  We're two highly independent middle aged coots who didn't "fall in love" but CHOSE to love each other, and I intend to be with him forever, lord willing and the creek don't rise :)  He don't try to change me, and I don't try to change him...so it works out very well.

Answer 18

Blech. Educate him? Enlighten him so he will absorb YOUR ideology? Who in heck do you think you are, exactly? (not you specifically....you in general)

If you don't like him the way he is, do him a favour and let him go. Don't badger the poor guy and try to mold him into your ideal man. That is disgusting. I bet there isn't a woman here who would want a man to try to educate and enlighten her and make her fit his mold. Either take him for who he is, traditional views and all, or let him go. If you try to henpeck him he will come to view you as a nagging bitter cow that he resents being with.

Answer 19

im not a feminist  so i wouldnt really care plus i dont really like women too much so we might get along really well

Answer 20

I would be very disappointed, especially if i really liked him.

I would chat with him for a while but if we clashed over our different views then i would leave.

I wouldn't have a romantic relationship with him, but if he was a genuinely nice guy id probably be friends with him.

Answer 21

There are some things my bf is really traditional about - paying for dinner and holding open doors.  But he completely understands that my career is important to me, at least as equally important as his career is to him.  I think he's a pretty great mix of traditional values and modern ideals.

If he wasn't, I don't think the relationship would have lasted beyond the first date.

Answer 22

If he believed in traditional gender roles, he would lose interest after getting to know me lol...So, there's no problem there.

I tend to easily lose interest once I find out a hot guy's personality too. There was a super hot guy who told me how he expects his wife to be a virgin when he's not, and I just couldn't look at him as hot anymore!

Forget trying to change his views. ;)

Answer 23

I'd rather date a man who liked me than one who wanted to change me.