QUestions for parents with adult children with autsim spectrum disorders?????

Question

I really need to hear from you. I have a son with aspergers, he's 22. He is in college and working, but he is so isolated. He never wants to be out of his room and talking and he doesn't want to be around people his age. What do I do? Do I just accept this as "normal" for someone with aspergers? Will he be alone forever? I just don't know what to do! I just want to cry.

Answer 1

There is no "normal" for Asperger's.  As with Autism, the spectrum of manifestations, including behavioral issues, is huge.  A better question is probably centered on what is in his best interest and how to bring that about.

Certainly, avoiding social contact is the path of least resistance for those that are wired for linear processing instead of variable processing.  That does not mean that being a hermit is best for him.  Neither is forcing him into the outside world or forcing people into his safe haven at home.

What IS in his best interest is to define a safe niche in which he can pursue his areas of interest with others with appreciate both his interest and his manner of approaching life.  I recommend full implementation of a Circle of Friends program.  I also recommend a MAPs (Making Action Plans for students with disabilities), or similar life planning and implementation program.

Answer 2

I would accept your son as he is. He is an adult, in college and being productive. What is normal for you, is uncomfortable for him. Has he said that HE is unhappy? We all want what is best for our children, but we need to understand that they reach an age when they know what is best for themselves.

I don't have Asperger's, but I prefer to be alone rather than be with a crowd. I do have a partner, but I don't like answering the phone or having someone drop by. I used to fight it, but now I realize that it is part of my personality and that interacting with a group is highly anxiety producing. Now I go with the flow.

Your son will find his way. Let him be who he is.

Answer 3

I hate to hear this he needs to be able to meet someone who is like him or someone who is open minded and doesnt take no for an answer. My son is turning 6 hates school and has no freinds except one child who would talk to a brick wall he soo chatty. My son has actually started to say his name., He is the only one.

Answer 4

He is in college AND working! Count your blessings!