Question about Child Custody, Child Support and Paternity.?

Question

Here is my situation. Three years ago I slept with a girl whom led me to believe I was her boyfriend. I left her place one Sunday evening and I would later find out that she had s*x with another man one week after I last had s*x with her. She then told me that she was pregnant with this guy’s baby and that they were getting married. She said the baby was conceived 7-10 days after I had s*x with her and assured me that the baby wasn’t mine. She said some nasty things and told me to move on. Shortly after this guy dumped her she told welfare that she had no idea who the father was which enabled her to get benefits. Today she contacted a friend of mine and informed him that she had the other guy tested and that the (3 year old) baby is mine. I’m getting married to the most wonderful woman in two months. I hate the fact that I worked so hard to put myself through college and a woman (a cheating one at that) may have a chance at ruining my life. The baby looks nothing like me so I’m a little relieved. I want to know that if the baby is mine if I have a good chance at custody. She lives with her mom and her mom’s boyfriend and the 2 of them are pot heads. She has no meaningful income beyond the occasional entry level job. I’m studying to be an engineer while my fiancé is an Anesthetist. We have a nice home and are quality, drug free people. Do I have a chance? What can I expect in the future? Am I screwed? Will the fact that she lied to welfare favor me? Will the court take a 3 year old baby from his mother even if it’s better off with me?

Any advice from the experts would be appreciated.

Answer 1

this is a hard one if you can prove what you have said here to a judge then you should have a good chance at custody I would get a test just to be sure though and call a lawyer asap

good luck hope every thing works out  

Answer 2

I commend you for wanting to take responsibility if the baby is in fact yours .

The best thing that you could possibly do is to hire an attorney and have a D.N.A. test ordered through the courts .

If she has by chance already filed child support against you , ask the Child Support Agency to preform a D.N.A. test .

If the D.N.A. test results come back that you are not the child's father , then that pretty much solves your problem .

If the results come back that you are the child's father then you will need to petition the courts for a custody hearing .

You also need to mention to the lawyer of their drug use and living conditions ,

If you have any proof at all of their drug use and living conditions you need to take that to the attorney .

Also take your proof of income to show that you could more than provide for the child . This can only help you with your case .

Now a days more and more fathers are getting custody of their children so if the test come back that you are the father you have just as good of a chance of getting the child as the mother .

And yes the courts can and would take a 3 year old from the mother if she is not providing a stable environment for the child .

If the father is better suited to care for the child the courts really don't care how old the child is , it's just what is in the best interest of the child .

And while you are in the process of all of this you should have a long talk with your fiance . Let her know of the situation . ( if you haven't already )

Not only will this save her from the shock of it all but she can also offer a lot of moral support for you .

Best of luck to you .

Answer 3

You would have prove the child is yours thru a DNA test.

Then prove to the satisfaction of the courts that she is an unfit mother before they will remove the child.

They will not remove a thriving child from it's mother on an opinion of the father (if he is) that he's the better parent.

Have you had any contact with the child? That will figure into it. Think of how traumatic it will be to a child for a virtual stranger to swoop into their lives and take them from their mother...think about that.

Answer 4

If you can prove that the mother is a pot head and is lying to the welfare people then yes the courts will grant you custody. Honestly it doesnt matter that you and your wife have a beautiful home, and what your occupation may be but what they are going to check is what is in the best interest of the child and if the mother can prove its with her than no they wont grant you custody. My advice to you would be to gather as much information you can and hire a Lawyer that specializes in child custody cases to help you gather all the information you need. Hope this Helps

Answer 5

The first thing I would do is get a paternity test.  If the test comes back positive I would contact a lawyer immediately.  I believe, if everything you told us is true, that you have a very good case.  I would never just take some girls word (much less a cheating one) that her baby was mine.  The faster you get an attorney the better off you will be.  Good luck!!

Answer 6

First she didn't lie.  She really doesn't know who the baby's father is.  Welfare will give you a paternity test as well and hopefully you aren't the father, which hearing about her I doubt you are.  Anyways, it is a difficult situation because the child is 3 and has only known his mom the whole time.  If she is an unfit parent which it seems with the drugs and lack of working, then you may get custody.  But all she would have to do is pass a drug test and say you were lying.  The best thing to do would be to call CPS and say there are drugs in the house and the child can get placed with you.  Or at the very least those records will help you out in custody court.  I think you at least have a chance for joint custody and if you can PROVE her unfit enough full custody.