Question about PLACEMENT of children from FOSTER HOMES?

Question

Today in court, my ex in-laws ACTED A FOOL in court! The judge kicked-out one of them for constantly blurting-out. The other in-law told the judge, "Why should I ask you a question? You're not going to answer it anyway!!" It was totally DISTRASTROUS!! My question is: this is about placement of my two daugthers. It's a long story, but they were adopted by the paternal grandparents; and one died in a house fire 1 1/2 years ago and the other one is paralyzed from a stroke 5 years ago. I have been working with the social workers to have the girls come back with me. (they were also burned in the house fire & need tender loving care). I know the paternal side is VIOLENT,etc.I have been the VICTIM of their violence on many occasions. My daughters also said that they were physically-abused by the father's side as well (revealed later after the fire.) Since they displayed their "violent behaviors" in the courtroom, will the judge, social workers & lawyers see that it's inappropriate placement?

Answer 1

It sounds complicated, because you had lost your rights, however, I know that people change, and above all else, you'll need to do EVERYTHING the judge asks, in a timely manner, and exactly like they say.  Offer to take parenting courses.  Ask for your daughters to be checked upon often if they are placed with your in-laws.  Teach the girls how to dial 9-1-1 and report anything that happens, when it happens.  Also, seek counseling for the abuse that you have been through, as this will be seen as a positive move forward.  Believe it or not, your confidence level to show that you won't be a victim again can be beneficial, along with self control, especially in a courtroom atmosphere.  My prayers are with your little girls.  They've seen a lot that they shouldn't have to.

Answer 2

Your children are young and it sounds like you've changed a lot (for the better) since you lost parental rights.  I don't know if the courts would be likely to give you custody based on observing violence in the court room.  More likely they'd at least agree that your daughters should NOT be with these grandparents.  

Why not see if there are any other relatives who you feel more comfortable with who would step up to the plate and at this point work on getting expanded visitation rights with your children?

Let the workers see that you are a different person today and that you are ready to take care of your daughters and get them all the added help and treatment that they now need.  

It sounds like a poor call got made when they were placed with the grandparents and the court needs to think long and hard about what is best now.

Make sure that you are there for them, no matter where they are and who is taking care of them, over time, you're consistency, love and devotion will win over the skeptics. I'm sorry that you and yours have had to live through all these ordeals, but with time, therapy, the right medical  care and a lot of love your daughters will have the sorts of futures that you want for them.

Answer 3

You gave up your legal rights when your daughters were adopted.  The judge has the right to do what-ever he thinks it best for your children, NOT FOR YOU and NOT FOR YOUR IN-LAWS.

This sounds like a mess.  Obviously, since you lost your parental rights, you have issues.  For the sake of your children, I hope they are put into a loving and caring foster home that might adopt, because this entire situation sounds horrible.

PS:  Normally, I try not to comment on people's issues, but this makes me sick.  You state that the girl's need tender loving care..where the h**l were you years ago when you lost them.

Parents think they have the right to come and go out of children's lives as they see fit.  How do you think this has affected your children?  You abandon them to their grandparents and now want them back.  I don't know how old they are, but if I were them I would say FU.

Answer 4

There is a lot going on but the first question I have is why were your girls adopted by their grandparents in the first place? Obviously if something happened that required your children to be adopted by someone else, then the last place a judge may look is to place them back with you regardless of whether you are their mother. In order for a child to be adopted a parent has to give up their legal parental right. I would definitely need more information about this situation but based on what you told me, I think you are going to have quite a fight in order for you to receive custody of your children.