Question about Respite Care???

Question

I'm a foster parent and doing respite care tomorrow for the first time. (We've been foster parents, but just haven't done any respite so far).

We were told that respite was to relieve foster parents or care for their foster children during emergencies, vacations, etc.

Well, this little boy we are going to have lives with his real mom??

I found that out only because the social worker handed her the phone when I asked about food allergies, bed time routines, etc. She mentioned breast feeding him to sleep when he was younger.......So I asked the social worker what is going on? I told her what I was told and asked if Respite is also for people who are a little bit in the system still or something and she said "yes".

Why is this social worker at this ladies house at 8:00 p.m.? Seems so strange....Is this normal? I have no problem with it, I just had no clue.

She would have showed up to drop him off tomorrow and I would have been asking questions about how long she's been a foster parent and stuff. That would have been awkward!! What if someone didn't feel comfortable with this? Are you supposed to ask when they call to place the child? I'm not because I don't care.

What have your experiences been with Respite?

Answer 1

I haven't heard of this specifically, but I used to work at a respite center for children with mental and physical disabilities.  We took care of foster children, adopted children, and children living in their natural home.  We did it for the parents (of whatever flavor) to have a break or in family emergencies.

In St. Louis, we also have a respite program for natural parents.  It's called a Crisis Nursery and is for parental stress or family emergencies.  I think it's wonderful to be providing parents a break instead of just trying to put children in foster care.

Answer 2

Well respite is to give whoever is taking care of the child some break from looking after the child. Maybe the mom could suffer from depression or she could suffer from Bi-polar disorder..  if she needs social services involved .. but you talked to the mom and she told you what you need to know and if you need to know more you should try to phone the mother again.. she has some kind of problem but that doesn't mean she is crazy.. Respite work is normally not for long.. a couple of weeks at most.  and sometimes only for a short time.. to give the caregiver a break and they have time to see to other things usually if they have anyone who is sick in their family a caregiver looks after the mentally or physically sick person or persons.. I only have experience doing respite work quite often in the past with a whole group of young people in their 20's who all suffered from depression and I also looked after two guys.. one who has autism and is in his late 30's and a man who has down syndrome.. They were easy to get along with .. for me.Lenny the one with down syndrome was like a 4 year old child and Jeffrey the one who is autistic came out of his shell a bit when one talked about riding as he won some medals when he was a boy.. and when one talked about his brother and he liked to dance.. so on his BD.  I danced with him on the handicapped ball..  and I danced with people in wheelchairs etc.. and with the young people who needed meds for depression I gave them their medication. I had to be there and I prepared the meals.. and Dan one of those who had depression he used to be a cook and he helped me in the kitchen and I encouraged that a lot as he is a lot better cook than I am and when he was in his room he tended to brood or go for short walks then come back and lie on his bed and go to sleep.. but they also had friendships amongst each other so they helped each other... that was good. I have positive experience with the work I did.. They are all great people. You must be able to ask questions. I am sure the mother is emotionally imbalanced.. Perhaps the social worker will be there when you take the child..then you can ask her the reason why ... it's not a crime to ask. and she also must know what the work entails but just as if he was your child you look after him.. and you are responsible for him while he is in your care so you should ask questions.  I am sure he is a normal boy .. and just needs normal looking after and someone who takes him out and shows him some attention... just like any boy his age would need.. xx The mom can answer questions and so can the social worker... you can phone either and should have both their phone numbers.

Answer 3

Part of the purpose of foster care, as you well know, is to allow time for families to get their act together so that they can be reunited and continue  together.  Sometimes this happens with the children in foster care full time, sometimes it happens with the children in partial foster care.  Once the children are returned to the families there is often a period of supervision and support by the system to ensure that everyone is on the right track.  

Sounds to me like this is the case with this family and that the mother either needs temp care for the child so that she can have a break or so that she can perhaps undergo some training or counseling.  I wouldn't worry too much about it.  We all get to the end of our rope sometimes and it sounds like the system is working in this families case.  

Answer 4

We have been doing respite for over 12 years and each time is different.  Each time is like a new experience with a new family member coming to stay.  We have had our fun times and some not so fun times.

The information you receive for others will only be close to what you need to know in order to take care of the person coming to you.

Just have fun with the new experience you are about to encounter.

Answer 5

I wouldn't worry too much about it...except that anything the child says (if he's old enough to speak) that may be "suspect" toward the birth family member should be written down and passed on confidentially to the social worker.

But other than that, consider respite like a 24 hour babysitter that is on call.  That's really what you are...just give the child a fun time, and they go back refreshed.

Answer 6

As a foster kid, I hated respite care.  I felt like I was being dropped off and left again.  Here is some advice:

1) The child may act-out when he gets there.  Expect this.  He is once again being abandoned  and left by his mom.  Even if it is only for a short time, he may not understand this.  He understands that his mom dumped him and "sent him back."  He will probably be upset, unhappy and confused.

2) Set boundaries in a firm and loving manner.  Again, since he may feel like he is being abandoned again, he may test everything and everyone.  

3)  Spend ALOT of time with him when he first gets there. Do you have other children?  Some thing that might help is letting other children show him the toys, his bedroom, etc.  

4)  Have something soft for him that is HIS alone...like a stuffed animal and his own blanket.  

5) Don't punish him for his feelings.  Validate them and explain in simple language what is happening.  Do not lie.

I hated respite care and I was usually very annoyed and hurt to be in it.  This is what the child feels " You are bad and you have to go away for awhile because we can not handle you."  Even if that is NOT the reason, that is what the child feels.  Reassure the child that he is not bad and that it is not his fault that he has been taken away again.