Question about bottoming?

Question

Why is it so painful? I've bottomed a few times before, and even though I use an assload of lube (pun intended) and even if my partner has a small or average-sized junk, it still hurts like h**l the first penetration!! (Though it feels better later). I also become constipated for a day or two. And I almost always bleed from the r****m. Do people eventually get used to bottoming?

Answer 1

It only hurts if you are tense and not relaxed. Try massaging each other first [make sure you're getting massaged too.. it doesn't hurt to ask .."____ I woke up this morning and my back was hurting can you massage it for me? haha"] You need to be completely relaxed and trust me your body will do the rest for you. Keep up with the lube, start slow and gentle and the more you get aroused the less the pain will occur. You should be in control, you put it in and you control how hard/soft the penetration is. Bleeding indicates your partner is being too rough, from what I understand it feels very good to do it "harder" as opposed to gentler but tell your partner how you're feeling. Constipation is normal.. haven't you heard of the expression "**** you so hard you won't S**t right for a week.." OMG I feel so dirty saying that but it's the truth hahaa.

Answer 2

yea it took me a while but i got use to it. it still hurts a little bit at first, but my bf is a little more gentle. do foreplay, a few fingers or something. eventually you won't want them to stop.

Answer 3

This happened to me the first couple of times. After the third time it didn't happen. It still hurt but it felt good later on & I felt like I had more " control " haha. Have fun & be safe.

Answer 4

yes,,, you will grow to love it. if i may suggest a few things that might help.

* get a shower shot. not that colt thing,,, go to adammale.com, it's stainless steel with a long cord and a couple interchangeable attachments. ( this will help with the constipation, and makes things squeaky clean fun. btw,,,, don't get grossed out the first time you use it. after your a pro with it it's fun to enjoy "doing" each other ;-)

* practice makes perfect..... get a nice d***o, the kind with a suction cup at the base. here is where you can practice getting over that initial "pop" of pain.( if you really want to, in time you will be wanting it back again ;-p )

* the bleeding should stop soon, i'm sorry your having that happen, a little bleeding when your a newbie is pretty normal, if it doesn't stop soon you might wanna get checked out at the doctors office. have you had hemorroides? that would explain a lot of pain and bleeding.

* positions... doggie style is the most comfortable, you on top with your back to him would be second. third would be side spooning....the gymnasts take it from here ;-)

Answer 5

Yeah eventually you get used to it.  Find gentler partners, have him use a few fingers and lots of foreplay.  Relax, it hurts at first but should get better and then you'll feel like you could do it for days on end.  Take it slow, don't let him pound the **** (pun intended) out of you right away.  

Answer 6

I haven't experienced it yet (still a little young for that heh), however, I'm glad I came across this question so that I can be prepared in the future. I do know that the person it'll be with has already told me that he'd be gentle, though, so that makes me a happy panda :)

Answer 7

I't all in the foreplay.  You've got to get him to play around with the area while you try to relax it.  You can practice by yourself with ur fingers or a toy.  Also, make sure they're going in at a comfortable angle.

Answer 8

it's different for everyone, my first I felt a little pain, but after that I never felt it again.

Answer 9

I don't think you get used to it. It always hurts me when they first put it in, so I make them go really slow, take it out and then I have to massage to make it relax. Then it goes in a little better. Since I've been doing it that way, I don't really have bleeding. I don't get constipated though, but I'm usually sore for a couple of days after.

Make sure you CONTROL them so they aren't just shoving it in. That can cause more pain and bleeding.

I don't know if I suggested the gayhealth site but they have good advice on anal s*x and other things regrading the health of g*y men.

Answer 10

i feel painful as well. And I never thought that i'm going to be liking it. But my second one feels awesome!

I don't know what's different. So I guess it's different for everybody.