Question about daughter's personal appearance?

Question

My daughter is 8 yrs old., and I am trying to show her by example how to keep her appearance up, to help lift her self esteem. She is a very pretty girl, with dark hair, light skin, and green eyes, the only girl out of 6. My problem is this: children in her previous classes have purposefully picked on her about the amount of hair she has on her legs, it is a lot for a girl, but I didnt think it was a problem. Children nowadays can be cruel, and i personally think whats inside counts for tons more. Do you think it would be totally out of line for me to buy Nair for her, and apply it for her? Am i focusing too much on what the brats say? I hate to see my daughter stray away from certain clothes because of this, she has even gone so far as to ask if there is a magic medicine to make the hair go away. My husband and I think its not a bad idea, to teach her about taking pride in her appearance, but are not sure if this goes too far, please no sarcasm. Thanx!

Answer 1

I'm going to say start shaving (or Nair-ing) her legs.  However, if she's old enough to bath herself, then I would see this as an extension of bathing, and therefore YOU shouldn't be doing it, you shoud teach her how to do it.

Now here's how I arrived at my decision to give this advice, because my initial inclination was that she was too young...

Is this something she would likely do at a later age?  Yes

So it's not like we're talking about cosmetic surgary or something else that in a few year would be out of the ordinary.

Is it immoral at her age?  No, I don't think so.

So it's not like we're talking about drinking, smoking, or other "adult" activities.

Is it going to physically or emotionally harm her?  No, I don't think you have to be 12yo  to use Nair, and if you do, you can always get things like electric razors where it will be more difficult for her to cut her self.

So given that the activity itself isn't unusual, it's not immoral, and it's not going to cause harm, I think the emotional harm it's doing by NOT doing it out weights the concerns of doing it at such a young age.

Answer 2

my daughters got hairy legs by this age as well. I dont see anything wrong with shaving the legs, you just have to teach her how to do this. I dont like the nair idea b/c of burning the skin. if she is so uncomfortable she is straying away from certin clothing just get rid of the hair. its not worth the lesson of who cares what others think b/c we all know thats easier said than done

Answer 3

I was in her place when I was eight.

&& looking back it was sad that I didn't want to wear shorts or tank tops because I already had hair and dark hair at that.

I remember my mom let me shave my armpits when I was 8, but I held off on my legs until 9.

It's so stupid how kids pick on other kids because of something they can't help.

Good Luck though!!

Answer 4

if it bothers your daughter i believe nair would be okay as long as it doesnt burn her. if it does, try facial hair bleach, i think its by sallys. if it doesnt bother her, just let it go =] it wont be TOO much longer before she begins to shave, just a few more years.

Answer 5

first of ya'll - i totally feel for you b/c it's like the parent feels the pain as well. Kids are so mean!

Now, I would definately continue the example of keeping up her appearance and definately continue to let her know that it is all about what is inside/not the out.  Having said that - I would w/o a doubt get her some nair, if that doesn't work try teaching her to shave and if her legs have that much hair, probably you should check under her arms as well.

Some girls develop long-before others so she is totally normal.

  Hope this helped somewhat.  

Answer 6

I think that if it bothers her, it is fine for you to help her use the Nair (or teach her to shave).  

Answer 7

I agree with you that the inside is the important thing and think the other kids are cruel and totally out of line, but in this case, when it would be so easy to end the problem, and when it is bothering your daughter so much, why not use Nair? Or--another solution--teach her to shave her legs, if there seem to be any chemicals in the Nair that could be harmful at her age. I would want to make sure about that.

Answer 8

I think it would be fine to teach her to Nair or to shave.  Because it's something that is causing her to be teased.  If she had a unibrow, and kids were teasing her, wouldn't you pluck it?  In general, eight is too young to be shaving the legs.  But since hers are unusually hairy, and causing her to be teased, then why not?  She'll be shaving in a couple years anyway.

Answer 9

If it is bothering her then yes, let her shave (or use nair or whatever). My daughter has very dark hair on her legs and it bothered her so I started helping her shave them with an electric razor in 4th grade (which was young to me).

Answer 10

omg your daughter sounds like how i was at that age. children didn't tease me but i just felt really uncomfortable. i think she should be able to use nair. when i was 7 my mom let me start using nair becuase i didnt like the look of the hair. my mom didn't let me shave until i was 10, but you should ask her what she wants to do and give her options. good luck!

Answer 11

Actually, a lot of girls start shaving at the age of 10. Too, in a poll, 52% of teenagers ages 15-19 said that they had s*x at least once. (Just some little extras I thought I'd throw in).

Now, I actually think the nair is a great idea. Even though she is really young, and most people wouldn't agree with her shaving, I can relate to the subject. Even to this day, there is always this "am I pretty/groomed enough" problem I face (age 15). What my mom did was let me start shaving in the fifth grade (10), but no one really said anything to me until then. So, that all kind of worked out; a few years later, they started with the arms, because ALL girls shave their arms. Needless to say, everything gets shaved now.. However, I wouldn't apply it for her. Being nude around your parents is kind of embarrassing, especially as you get older. Maybe you could just show her on the bottom of her leg? And let her do the rest. This will give her some feeling that she is growing up, and make her a lot more comfortable with her own skin.

Good luck :)

Answer 12

Nair can burn the skin. I would help her start shaving honestly. I work as an EA and I know kids can be mean. I would not make her go through another year of teasing I would definitely help her shave or try the nair. She needs to feel confident and if shaving will help that then go for it. I think all kids especially girls of this age need to hang on to the self esteem they have it gets tough from here. So if removing her leg hair helps then do it. Good luck.

And no it is not going to far, my daughter is 9 but is a blonde so her leg hair is blonde I would have no problem letting her if she had dark hair that bothered her.

Answer 13

i don't think it's a bad idea at all, i just recently starting using Nair on my 7&10 year old girls for the exact same reason. they were soooo excited when i did this for them, and it did help their self esteem and made it more comfortable for them to wear shorts, especially in this 103 degree weather we have been having!

i say go for it, if it's going to make her feel better, what's the harm in it? kids teasing her can leave emotional scars, every little bit helps in lifting her self esteem.

*i also get my 10yr olds eyebrows done, she has a very dark unibrow and would often get teased for it as well, now she holds her head up high instead of trying to cover her face*

EDIT: since some are bringing up the point of Nair burning the skin, do a small patch test and wait 24 hours before using it on all of her legs

Answer 14

Kids have always been cruel it isn't just nowadays.  They have always picked on children who are different.  Obviously your child comes from ancestry that is known for their dark body hair.  Eight years old is a bit young for hair removal (especially chemicals that can irritate or burn the skin) Unless she has entered puberty I would suggest that you take her to her pediatrician to find out if there is a bleach you can use.  Nair and adult bleaches can do horrible damage to a child's skin...My niece used Nair and wound up with 3rd degree burns on her legs and a visit to the emergency room and a stay in the burn unit.  Hopefully you don't want to subject your child to that.

Answer 15

I had the same problem when I was her age. I was always worried about some picking on me because I had alot of hair and it was dark, My mom bought me nair and even tried wax because of this, This will help her , I learned as I got older to not worry about it as much, I took it as far as nairing my arms sometimes and legs because of this, now I only shave my legs (I am 19 now).

Personally I thinkt hat Nair is a great Idea and it seems to be soemthing she would like alos.

Answer 16

I would talk to a dermatologist before giving Nair to a child that young, and I would be very cautious and certainly not have her do it without supervision until you are very confident it is not irritating or worse to her skin and she will use it properly every time. It's not just like some lotion, it is really potent chemicals.

True story: a boy at my school who was fifteen and set to play Fredrich, the older brother in the Sound of Music, was supposed to shave his very hairy legs so he looked younger in his lederhosen. No problem. He had three sisters. He sought their advice about the best way to do it and breezily, they said, "Just get some Nair. It will make your legs smooth as a baby's behind."

Not wanting them around when he was actually doing it, he waited until he was alone in the house and filled a bathtub. He poured in the bottle of Nair and sat in the tub.

He was in the hospital with second degree burns, and not just on his legs either. He was much better in time to play Freidrich, thank goodness.

Yes, he should have been able to read the instructions as a 15 year old honor student, but being a guy, he had no frame of reference for shaving legs or anything.

I don't think I would put Nair where an 8 year old could reach it personally.

I think an electric razor would be much safer.

Answer 17

I understand where you are coming from being a parent also. My daughter is 5 and she is starting to have hair on the legs too. I would encourage her and make her feel better about herself and also buy a bottle of Nair for her. I don't think its a matter of pleasing others, but it is a hygiene issue that you want her to be on top of in the future. I wouldn't recommend this action if it were something like hairstyles or certain shoes, but in this case, I think to save her the emotional damage, go ahead and head out to your neighborhood Walmart and save her the "extra" embarrassment. With love! From Mother to Mother.  

Answer 18

Yes, if she would like to use Nair , I think it's a good idea. I know it's whats inside that should count, but it will help her self esteem greatly and Nair will not encourage more hair growth like shaving.