Question about finding birth parents?!?

Question

My fiance was born & adopted. He is 21 now, and he is looking for his birth parents or his sister. It was a closed adoption, but we do know some information about the birth parents and their families. Does anyone know what he could do to find his parents?? we post on about every website for adoption hoping someone is looking for him! it hurts me to see him so upset about not knowing them. I want to help. So if anyone has ANY information about how to locate them.... or anything.. please help! It will be GREATLY appreciated!~ thankss!!

Answer 1

Contact the agency he was adopted through. Its fairly easy to have his records opened. With his birth mom's name he will still have some searching to do but it is a much easier place to start at. The agency will have paperwork he will need ot fill out and send back. There may be a processing fee. It takes awhile but they will forward his records to him. Good Luck

Answer 2

First, have him contact the agency that handled his adoption and request his "non-identifying information".  Ask them also for their form to authorize the release of his information, or send a letter for the agency to keep on file authorizing the release of his information.  Should his first mom sign a form releasing her information, they should contact him.  She may have already.

You don't mention what state or country you're in. Please feel free to contact me via e-mail for a more detailed list of steps to take.  (to email me, click on my avatar photo, then click on "e-mail Robin")

A search guide:

http://prairieguy.wordpress.com/2007/07/...

Here's a list of contacts by state:

http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?...

Register with ISRR at:

http://www.isrr.net/

http://registry.adoption.com/

Contact his state's web page (the state he was born in) and look for an adoption registry in your state.  Usually connected to the state's vital records or department of health.  If he was adopted in a different state than he was born in, contact the state that handled his adoption.

Keep a binder of all e-mail & letters sent and all responses. The binder provides a road map of where he's already searched (so he won't duplicate his efforts) and what your next steps will be.  

Consider finding a search group in your area to help provide needed support, information, ideas.

Or, try on-line adoption support groups like these:

http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/

http://adultadoptees.org/

http://adoptees.adoption.com/

Hopefully Possum will show up and add her contact list! : )

And Gershom. There are many knowledgeable searchers in this forum...

Good luck!

ETA: You don't need a detective or PI to find. I did my search in 1983, before the internet!  LOL  I met my 1/2 sibling 3 months after sending my 1st letter. I met my first mom a week later.  The only cost of my search was for postage & occassionally a copy fee (usually a few $$).

My first mom was waiting, hoping for me to find her. In fact, everyone in the family knew about me and were waiting to hear from me. She didn't want to disrupt MY life and so, didn't search for me.  

He can't know if his 1st mom wants contact until he contacts her.  I waited for several months to send my first letter to prepare myself for the fact she may not want to hear from me.  This is just one of the benefits of a support group.

ETA: Only 6 states provide a copy of the original birth certificate upon request. These are Alaska, Alabama, Delaware, Kansas, New Hampshire & Oregon.  A few others states allow adoptees to obtain a copy of their OBC under certain conditions.

The remainder of the states require a court order & "good cause" to open records.  For a list by state:

http://www.b******s.org/activism/access....

Answer 3

i know how to find anyone there are records but you need to go through the courts to see them and hire a private investigator he might be able to dig up some answers but don the natural parents wanna be found its a risk you gotta take please dont be hurt if they dont want him but i hope they do when they find him most paerents love their child even after thety give them away i have found many people in myn time look in the phon book and hire a good pi and get a lawyer and get the adodption agency to release the records good luck