Question about jealousy and 3somes?

Question

Thanks in advance for answering my question.

I have been invited to move in by my girlfriend from work. She has a bf and the expectation will be that we will all join in having 3somes together. They have been open about that expecation. But before I join them, I have a question about jealousy.

Do you ever get jealous of the other two being together without you, or should you have a "policy" that only all three of you can have s*x together.

I think I would feel hurt if the other two were doing it without me. How do you overcome those jealousy feelings?

Answer 1

I must be honest: my heart says that you deserve better than this, my friend.

Find someone -- male or female -- who loves you totally and will give you all of themselves.

Of course if you are so bisexual you simply cannot be with one person, I guess the suggestion of a policy of only all three of you at once is about as good as you are going to get.  Perhaps in time you'd build enough trust to allow twosomes without jealousy.

Answer 2

Ahhh, so your last question was really about polyamorous living....

Jealously is a huge impactor on poly relationships that have poor communication. It's like any monogomous relationship, but impacted due to the numbers.

If it's something you three want, you should set ground rules you can all agree on beforehand, otherwise it's likely to fail.

Me and Lunchbox forgot some details in the beginning, and it nearly cost us the wicked awesome relationship we have now. Don't make assumptions. Always talk everything to death before even doing anything.

Answer 3

In my experience,someone always gets hurt by threesomes.I don't see the point.

Answer 4

Don't do it someone always gets hurt and it usually ends up being that no one remains friends. If your already jealous then it will just manifest into something more.

Answer 5

ooo thats sooooo hott mmm  

Answer 6

Jan,

In regards to a threesome of the sort you're talking about, the rule should probably be all three at a time, with no side pairings.  You don't want to break up your friend's relationship.  In a long term, stable triad type relationship, there are times when two pairing up can't be avoided, and more to the point, there shouldn't be any jealousy with a stable, healthy relationship.  That's quite different from a occassional romp in the hay with your friend and her boyfriend.

Answer 7

I don't think you get over the jealous feelings if you are a jealous person. That does not sound like a good roommate situation, if one of them gets jealous you will be out and if you become attached to one of them again you will be out. Best to find other living arrangements.  

Answer 8

Well, it depends are you going in as a "couple" or "triple" whatever you wanna call it, or are you moving in as a friend who will participate as a third wheel?

If it's the former, jealousy is fully allowed, and to be expected, if it's the former you're not allowed to feel that way and probably shouldn't get into it.

Answer 9

Don't get involved if you already have concerns about jealousy just sounds like a mess.