Question about marriage at age 22.?

Question

Is it right for someone at age 22 to seek marriage to prevent fornication?

I have a problem, I go to college and live in an area that is surrounded by women. For some reason I am attracted to spanish women ALOT. I thought for a while that I would marry a spanish women in the future and what not, but when I think about it, I want to get married now to a muslim girl.

Its like life aint that great and I am tempted, more so because I feel an inadequacy of having someone. I guess I feel lonely because half my friends are married now and the other half have girlfriends.

The thing is my parents want me to get married at 28 or 29 when i am done with college and have great career and what not, but i don't think ill be happy waiting 6 or 7 more years.

I don't know what to do, my parents are not helping me and I feel lost.

Is it wrong to feel the urge? I held out throughout high school and slightly slipping in college, but i feel the urge getting stronger and stronger now everyday.

Answer 1

It is good for an adult Muslim believer to marry as early as possible when the means are ready.  We all have customs and surroundings where that 'means' are not hardly met with many. Islam's marriage is simple and you are at good age for marriage. So what you can do is tell your parents to do the 'Nikaah' with her and let the later marriage ceremonies and parties be done afterwards when time is ripe.

Answer 2

of course it is better to marry than to commit a sin.  However it is not wised to marry someone just for the sake of not committing a sin, meaning you are marrying her and perhaps she is not the one that will make you truly happy in the long run.  If that is the case, you may solve a short term problem, but a long term and more difficult problem could arise, ie a miserable marriage.  I would have a serious discussion with your parents.  The idea of not allowing a son to marry before he finishes a certain educational requirement is outside of Islam and moreover it is unfair and unwise on the part of the parents.  It can cause more problems than it solves.

Answer 3

better to marry at 22 than be potentially suicidal at 28

Answer 4

Sallam... what i have seen is a lot of families forcing their son to get married early so he doesnt fornicate. i dont usually see those relationships work out due to the lack of love. In your case.. i really think you should get married. you can still go to school and have a wife. try not to rush into the whole kids thing. your parents will understand if you just talk to them. if they see that you are serious and it is coming from the heart.. i dont see why not. nothing you are feeling is out of the ordianry. you are a younge man living in a society that makes it hard to resist because it is so easy. just keep doing what your doing and be strong. If in the end they wont let you get married.. be strong. . thats all i can say. dont let all these years of resisting go to waste. you sound like a good person with good intentions. good luck. sallam

Answer 5

You can discuss this with your father telling him that you wish to get married.

Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) : "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty. And whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes one's sexual power". but at the same time, do u think you are able to take over the responsibilities of the other person as well?

And as for now, fast, keep your gaze low, read Quran as much as you can and try to be in Wudu.

And pray to Allah to guide and help you :) ~!

Answer 6

You are just normal.

Answer 7

The Prophet salallaahu alaihi wa salam encourage the youth to get married.

So the Muslims should hasten to fulfill this command of Allaah and of His Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) when he said: “O youths! Whosoever amongst you has the ability to marry, then let him do so; for it lowers the gaze and restrains the private parts. But whosoever does not have the ability then let him take to fasting; for indeed it is a shield for him.” Its authenticity has been agreed upon. Related by al-Bukhaaree (4/106) and Muslim (no. 1400), from Ibn Mas‘ood (radiyallaahu ’anhu)

Answer 8

do you have enough to support yourself and wife, then for your children. why you are waiting. go and get married instead keeping tight.

Answer 9

22 is far too young for anyone to get married. How could you possibly think you should get married when you don’t even have anyone in mind? That is like putting the cart before the horse. You are in college now, hopefully learning how to think on your own, give it some time. Also, people are naturally attracted to who they are attracted to, marriage doesn’t change that.

Answer 10

Tell your parents to let you marry early or end up with a son with AIDs.

http://www.biblebelievers.org.au/moongod...

There's another way, but I don't think you'll do it.  CUT IT OFF.

.

Answer 11

brother abul haarith has given the correct answer mashaAllah, tabarakAllah

Answer 12

You are way too young to be married at 22.  You should wait longer until you have some money put aside, a great job with benefits and some sourt of security.  Otherwise you'll end up divorced before you hit 30.  

22 year olds male/female are simply not ready for marriage.

Answer 13

it's certainly not wrong to feel that urge, it's quite normal

and generally speaking, seeking marriage in order to prevent many problems associated with casual s*x is a cautionary and logical way of thinking. However, it shoud Not be your Sole reason for getting married

do your best to talk to your folks about why you want this now, but also seek help elsewhere. i have no idea what kind of community you live in, but in some countries there are organizations that offer aid to couples who wish to get married but don't have enough means to do so. i'm sure you realize there are a lot of responsibilites attached to marriage, but if you're absolutely sure you want this now, you've got to prepare yourself for fulfilling those responsibilities. (i.e. you have some serious long-term planning to do)

ultimately, it is your decision and your parents do Not have the right to prevent you from getting married. however, whatever you do, if you end up in disagreement with your folks about it, do NOT try to carry out your plans unlawfully

Note: this 'phenomenon' of parents pressuring or preventing their kids from getting married when they want to creates a variety of problems that affect society as a whole and is particularly apparent in Middle Eastern countries where cultural traditions and ignorant attitudes dominate the thinking of the masses, while useful islamic teachings are lost and forgotten