Question about my husband and our s*x life! Please only reall answes?

Question

First a little back ground. We have been together 4 years married 2 of that so not long but not short. Things have slowed down in the bedroom. But i'm not complaining. We both work at least 8 hours aday then come home and work some more. And then we're tired. So usualy if we have s*x it's on the weekend.

Wel this weekend we went out to a bar and had some drinks ( we don't do that a lot were home bodies) I got to feeling good came home and we started ya know...20 minutes are so later I'm not feeling that good drunk anymore it's more like " please stop the room" feeling.

anyway we stop do it before either of us gets done and we just lay there and then he says

" We may not have the best s*x in the world but I love you and don't want to be with anyone but you"

What do I do this really hurt my feelings! I know that every time can't be mind blowing but has our s*x life always been bad. I don't knon what to think! Did he mean it the way it came out?? I know s*x is not everything in a relationship but it's a big part of it, and I don't want this to be an issue later so what do I do ???

Answer 1

well maybe you should try new things. Try getting some toys, maybe some lotions, and just have fun with it.... Maybe some role playing, do something you never thought you would have done!!!!

Answer 2

I think it's great that he loves you so much that s*x isn't really an issue for him, but s*x is very important in any marriage. Luckily, my wife and I have never had any s*x issues. We're both pretty outgoing when it comes to s*x, and pretty open-minded. One thing we've found pretty erotic, though, has been the Better s*x videos from the Sinclair Intimacy Institute. They're not "pornos", but they're also not like some awkward instructional video either. You guys should give them a try.  

Answer 3

it sounds like you are both pretty unimaginative in bed.  maybe spice things up a bit.  An 8 hour work day doesn't sound all that bad, plus you didn't mention anything about kids.  Do a little role playing or better yet, you be the aggressor.  Give him a back massage.  Get him in the mood and I'm sure he'll take care of you.  Good luck.

Answer 4

He knows what he wants to say but his mouth doesn't. remember you were both drunk....and not sotally tober.

He could have said you were great in bed, but I love someone else.

Answer 5

I say the best thing to do is to talk to HIM about it.  Ask him what he means, and talk together about what changes you want to make.  Just keep the communication open- as long as you are both trying to make each other happy- then everything will work out.  But he'll know what he wants and means and needs better than any stranger on here.  Let him know how you're feeling, and let him reassure you. And then talk to him about how to start some of those sparks again.

Answer 6

I think it is a compliment" ..."I love you and don't want to be with anyone but you."  Just be glad of that!!!

Answer 7

Well, he had been drinking too, so maybe it was the liquor talking?? He may not have meant it the way it came out at all. I am one of those people who wants to talk anything out, lol...I know that can be annoying for the other person, but in this situation, I think you would feel better if you asked him what he meant by it. Otherwise, you will never know. He may not even remember saying it.

I know the first part of what he said sounded negative, but the part where he says he loves you and doesn't want to be with anyone but you, was nice. So maybe he was trying to give you a compliment and it just wasn't worded the best. I'm sorry for your pain and good luck to you. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

I thought you two were drunk,don't read to much into it.He was trying to make lite of an awkward situation

Answer 9

I think it was his semi drunken way for apologizing that "we stop do it before either of us gets done" and its kind of cute

Answer 10

he was probably drunk and did not know what he said - guys sometimes say things they don't mean even sober. Sometimes we are too insensitive for our own good.  Just communicate with him and ask him if he has any issues with your s*x life and then work on that. I would not take a single drunk comment very seriously.

Answer 11

Try not to overthink this.  Your feelings are hurt, but he is giving you a lot of information.  Try to figure out what he wants that he is not getting...try to take a nap when you get home so you can have s*x a couple of times during the week.  At least be available.  Put some extra effort into the weekend plans to set the mood.  

Try not to over talk this, but do more action!  Good luck

Answer 12

We women tend to believe that there are things that are out of our element or character & that if we indulge just a little it'll degrade us. Honestly, I see that as a problem... we ask why our men/husband does the things they do (i.e. cheat, watch p**n on TV or the web or even call the s*x line for phone s*x with an unidentified party). But what we fail to realize is we as women/wives have gotten so comfortable with our relationship that we don't need to do the things we used to do before marriage... and this is where majority of the women/wives fall short. You are WRONG!!! You have to learn to maintain your man/husband's interest when it comes to the great love of s*x. And this will involve trying new things and venturing outside of your normal activities... ROUTINE is BORING.

My belief is what you won't do another woman will do (and this applies to the men as well). Ladies every man wants a woman in the street & a freak in the bed, therefore, you have to learn to be his s**t, bit**, who**, and his wife all in one.

They key is knowing & learning your man's cycle... you have to know when he wants Victoria (the wife) and Michelle, Kimberly, Angela, Anna, etc ( the many freaks on any given day). And it doesn't stop here because you can't give him s*x in the same positions or places all the time because the idea is to keep him on his toes & guessing what's next. Role playing & dressing up yourself helps to keep the flair growing in the relationship/marriage... find out what he likes/yourself & you ,ay want to try blind folds, handcuffs, paddles, etc with one of the freaks of the week you'll pretend to be.

And when you are his wife the excitement doesn't stop there... change your look up sometime as well and how you get dress or undress in front of him. Strip tease him a little, walk around in s**y lingerie, etc. It's not hard to please a man if you know what you're doing, the secret is to eliminate the shy girl inside of you and learn to dominate him.

If you dont do something the cheating will start because you're becoming to ideal, expected & most of all BORING. How this turns out depends on on you.

I promise by adding some spice into the relationship/marriage your man is guaranteed to maintain a wholesome & sexual relationship with just you. I can go on and on, but I think you’ve got the picture… Good Luck!

Answer 13

you are being EXTRA sentative. he did not meaning the way you are taking it. all the man is saying is that no matter how many times he dont get the s*x he doesnt want anyone else but YOU. get over yourself. the man loves you even though he doesnt have s*x as much as he would like for whatever the reasons. GodBless

Answer 14

Girl don't get to upset he sounds like he just a good drunk most of th time that's when my husband and me have the best s*x.Try to bring something new to the bedroom have a s*x party (fun party) iss the correct way to say it.  

Answer 15

Talk to him and tell him how you feel and that he hurt your feelings.  You will never sort anything out and be able to move past it until you do this. x*x

Answer 16

Whoa sister!  I think it is the way it came out.  I think you are looking at it the wrong way.  That man just said he is totally dedicated to you no matter what the s*x is like.

You have admitted the s*x is bad.  So try not to be too hurt over him putting the truth out there (tactfully as he did).  At least he was open about the issue which is better than you did in this case.

If you want better s*x, and crappy s*x is a problem for you (seems to be more of one for you than your husband) well, depending on your needs, there are tons of therapists, books, etc. out there waiting for you.  This is something you can approach with a constructive attitude.  Tell your husband you're just going to have to practice, and do it over and over again until you get it right :-)

Good luck.

Answer 17

You say 'we are tired' and 'we have s*x on the weekend'.

Would your husband like to be having more s*x?  A lot more?  Is he too tired for a quicky, or just too tired for long, slow s*x?  Is he too tired for s*x, or just accepts that YOU are too tired?

Answer 18

Talk to him.  He's your husband, you should be able to tell him what you're feeling.  Take solace in that he obviously did not mean to hurt you and that he was drunk.  He may not even remember saying it.

Answer 19

Was he drunk?because everyone says stupid things when they've had to much to drink,and anyway he said he loves you and no one else,You cant expect to have p**n s*x all the time,Sometimes you just need a release,Really don't make it into a big deal

Answer 20

GF I am feeling your pain. Seriously, the only person that can answer this is him, or you based on how you know him. Ouch, that would really hurt!!

Answer 21

A drunk mind speaks with a sober tongue!!

He probably feels that s*x is not on your top list of things to do.

Maybe he wants to try something new and is apprehensive to ask.

Ask him what he would like to do to make your s*x life better.  

He might just have a fantasy that you have had also.  

Don't dwell on the negative, embrace the dialog and GET SOME!!!

Peace

Answer 22

It was most likely the drink talking. but talk to him, ask him what he would like, your idea and his idea of great s*x may be different. Let him know your feelings were hurt by his remark, He may not remember saying it, but if you keep it bottled up the hurt will grow and you will just become harder on yourself. Ask him how he would like to spice it up, be open to his ideas but don't go against yours

Answer 23

You said yourself that things slowed down in the bedroom so maybe he noticed also and thats where the comment came from. It didn't sound that bad to me. Would you rather have him say "the s*x is bad but i still will only be with you"?  Don't over-react hun, sounds like an ok comment.

Answer 24

i guess the best thing to do is to talk to him...till the time u both sit n discuss what u both want its going to be a difficult ride...n yes ur right in saying that "I know s*x is not everything in a relationship but it's a big part of it, "trust me it plays a very vital role in a married couples life...so make time n talk to him...

Answer 25

Ask him to describe what he feels is "the best s*x in the world" and then recreate it WITH him.  This sounds like maybe he wanted to tell you what he wants and for you to tell hime what you want.  Have fun!