Question about my little sister's behaviour.....???

Question

Hi, i have a dilemma relating to the bahaviour of my little sister, lets just give you the facts:

She is nearly 14 yrs old, in yr 8 in school and she struggles a little in her classes as she is dyslexic...

Now, i was sitting watching tv with her this evening, and she said she recieved a sms saying that her friends wanted her to wag school the following day, i told her are you crazy?????? She responded with "you dont know nothing about my life hon, so just butt out!" Our arguement quickly escalated (wrong i know as im the adult, not the child) and she started saying that she does bad things because her childhood was so hard (we always lived in the same house, so we had the same childhood) because our parents divorced when i was 10 (she was 5). After a while she confessed that she hates both my mum and my dad and i was shocked, as she only speaks good of my father, never a bad word, and my mother... well she always thinks my mother is the worst person in the world (we live with her now and mum works so hard to get food on our table and iPods for my sister as she is a single mother).

I told her that I wasnt happy with the people she hangs out with at school and that she will end up in a place she doesnt want to be (i was implying a single teenage mother with no money, but i dont think she caught the hint) and she told me when she is 21 she will be top student in uni. I asked her how wagging school gets you into uni, then she ran upstairs and was ranting and raving to herself for about 20 minutes about how horrible her life is......

I am considering calling her school and asking about counselling for her, i helped raise her for 8 years with my mother and when she acts like this i feel like a failure.

She doesnt like to talk to my mum often, and she never talks to me....

I just need some suggestions about what to do...

Maybe she should move away to live with our father for a while???

Help me please before its too late!!!!!

Answer 1

You have to understand the divorce of your parents affected her even more than it did to you. As you said your mom works hard to put food on the table and spoil your sister with a kid. It seems that your mom didn't give enough discipline to your little sister and to the one that is a single mom.

Face it your mom did a bad job in giving your sister discipline and love. All you can do is spend more time with your little sister and show her you care, and be there for her every day. She is right you don't know what her life is all about so I am glad you will find out by being her friend.

Do not give her to your father! He is a stranger to her!

Counseling might help but going to church will be even better. Good luck.

Answer 2

I think she thinks her life is horrible coz she sees something with her friends that she doesn't have ( probably a close family ). I think you should try and get close to her or even talk to your mother if she's understanding and both of you try to get close to your sister and understand what's in her head and what she needs.

I think these problems are quite sensitive and complicated as there are lots of details in them and I don't think a message or 2 in here would really give enough help.

Anyway I think the best solution is for you and your mother to get closer to her and understand what she needs and if she needs more love and attention then give it to her. Sending her to your dad is a good idea but he might spoil her and later on he'll have to deal with what you're dealing with now ... You just have to figure out a way to get her on the right track again.