Question about sole custody..?

Question

My husband recently got sole custody of his daughter (5). she has lived with us since 8 months old but before this time he had never taken it to court.. Anyone ways on the custody papers it states sole custody with visitation depending on appeal.. what does that mean ?

We were allowing bm to see child but she kept telling the little girl lies. standing her up all the time. I mean like 6 times she told her she was gonna take her to build a bear and never showed up and then like 10 times to a amusement park and never showed up. She is a stripper . has no running water in her home goes from house to house etc. This is not the life style my husband wants for his daughter.. Question are we required to have her go over there?? Also wanted to add bm doesnt wanna help out with anything telling my husband" if you want child support take me to court". Knowing she wont show up to court because she has 6 warrants. please help.

Answer 1

I'd stretch her across the coals.  TAKE her to court!  Doesn't matter if she shows up or not!  He'll get awarded child support & if she doesn't pay, the interest rate on delinquent CS is fantastic!  IF she doesn't pay, she'll pull at least weekends in jail & her wages will get garnished for CS B4 she spends her money on drugs or whatever.

Also, y'all should appeal the court to revoke visitation.  No running water?  That right there is grounds if it's a frequent occurrance.

It's cruel of her to stand the child up & make empty promises.   It will crush a child's heart & trust, change their perception of how to live honorably & their concept of committment when they're constantly let down by their authority figures.

Answer 2

on appeal means she can ask for visitation.  the woman is clearly a big-time loser and your husband has good grounds for keeping her away from the child.  if she really cares about being a good mother, she will clean up her act big-time, but this isn't going to happen overnight.  

document everything mom does, keep it in a file somewhere and if she does go to court, your case will be pretty clear.  try not to talk about the woman in front of the child - it's disturbing to know your mother is a lunatic.  don't badmouth her but don't lie either.  put it in terms the kid can grasp:  she's sick and can't be here for you (if she asks)

Answer 3

If I were you and your husband has sole custody, IF and when this ex wants to see her, don't let her out of your sight! You don't HAVE to let her take the child to her home! You are not breaking any law, as you are allowing visitations!!! Does it state WHERE these visitations are to occur? If not, you are home free! Keep a record of all the times she stands the kid up. Give here one hour to show up, then go about your business!!! YOU have a life to lead too! The court will not expect you to wait all day for her to show up.  There should be an appointed time (of arrival) and if she misses it! Too d**n bad!! Also, tell the daughter not to count on Mummy dearest to show up.  The kid has been disappointed enough times already!  If she decides to make a stink of you guys always being present, have the welfare department go check her place out, and see what she has or hasn't in it, that would make it an unfit house for her daughter to even visit!!!

Answer 4

Thank goodness your husbands daughter is not being raised by her mother!  Sole custody simply means that your husband has the right to decide on medical decisions, etc. without having the bm's permission or agreement.  She is entitled to visitation, however, it sounds like your husband should go to court to restrict visitation to supervised visits or deny visitation since she is unreliable and is causing unnecessary upset to the daughter with her constant promises and not following through.