Question about the s*x of wedding party members?

Question

I was just wanting thoughts on this, and some help deciding the on an outfit. So I'm getting married this december, which is getting kinda close obviously and we still haven't totally figured out some details. I have my dress, the flower girls and bridesmaids, which look like this:

http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?productID=37f467e7-0a13-46f1-9539-c2242fdd2bb9&categoryID=76793ebf-607f-4683-82b6-d880a00a2197&pg=3

http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?productID=11e5e11e-2626-4459-983e-2bba6ebed186&categoryID=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65&pg=11

Our dresses all have the kinda sage green color.

And the mens outfits are also done, the groom and grooms men:

http://www.aftersix.com/brands/product.aspx?id=804NXTS

My fiancee is wearing a black tie and vest, but thats what it looks like.

I have two girls who are kinda little (2 and 5) who are the flowergirls, and since they are so young I didn't want my soon to be step daughter to feel like I thought she was a baby so I made her a bridesmaid (shes 16 by the way).

I figured it would be cool, but than my fiancee seemed like he really wanted her to be on his side of the wedding as a "best man" of sorts. I'm totally cool with that, I mean hes been a single father since Adelaide was 2 so I get him wanting her to stand with him, the only thing is aesthetically we decided it would make more sense to get her a dress that was a darker color to match the side shes on.

I was just wanting your thoughts, what could we put her in that would match the men but also be in the same style as the women? Also I was wondering if anyone else had ever heard of people putting a girl on the guys side or vice versa?

Answer 1

I was at a wedding in 1988 (wow - 20 years ago), where the best "man" was actually a woman. She was dressed in the same colour/fabric as the bridesmaids, but had a different style of dress.

Everything went fine, it caused a few raised eyebrows perhaps, but nothing out of the ordinary. She was the groom's best friend since childhood and he was closer to her than to any of his male friends.

btw..my wedding dress was alfredangelo..good tase

(and good luck..weddings can be stressful)

Answer 2

Congratulations!  My wedding was a little over a month ago.  My now husband had a women among is attendants.  She wore the same color as my attendants.  She actually had a bouquet and a boutonniere.  From someone who did just this thing... one thing to think about is the picture of your girls.  The one you will frame because it has all your children.  What do you see them wearing in that picture?

Answer 3

It is customary for her to wear the same dress as the bridesmaids but in black.  

Answer 4

These days, anything goes.  In a traditional wedding, there would be no crossing over of the sexes, but these days, people do what is best for them, and I have seen some very well done mix and matches.  Like the other answerer said, I have seen one where she was in black (although a different style than the others), and had a white bouquet.    I have seen the same colour, but a different design, which was very well done.  Her dress was more "suit-like" but still very feminine and it suited her.  I have seen every dress a different colour, with the ties and cumberbunds all different colours as well, so no one stood out when there were men and women on both sides.  

Long story short, do what you think looks best, just be considerate of the style of dress you put your ladies in.  In this day and age, there will be no one shaking their heads and saying "she did it all wrong"!  It will be beautiful, and everyone will love what you pick.  

Answer 5

I plan on having both on each side.  My brother, sister-in-law and best friends on my side and his friends and 3 sisters on his side.  All the girls will be wearing the same color as will the guys.  I don't think there is anything wrong with her wearing the same color as the bridesmaids.  Or, you could have her wear the same dress but in black.

Answer 6

I've heard of it as well but I'm not fond of it.  It looks weird especially if the other aspects of your wedding are traditional.  And when all the women are walking around at the reception, she'll be the one who doesn't fit in.

She's 16.  I would ask her.  I think she should be allowed to make her own decision on that.  From her point of view, she's already secure in where she stands on his side.  She is being included in your side and that is what is new and different.  It helps to include her on your side for the wedding.  Are you going to invite her to the bridesmaids events or will she being going to the bachelor party?  That's something to consider b/c if she is to stand on the Mens side she should be included in the men events but invited to bridal luncheons and bridal showers if she is a bridesmaid.  Men stand at the front.  Women walk down the aisle.  Which would she do?  Also are you going to have her escort another bridesmaid out of the church or will she have to walk by herself?

I've seen two weddings with a girl on the guys side.  In one, she was g*y so she opted to wear a tux just like the men.  In the other, she wore a long black dress in a more masculine style, not the same as the bridesmaids.

I know I'll get a lot of thumbs down for this but I honestly think her feelings are what should matter here and you should ask her which side she would prefer to stand on.  16 tends to be an awkward age and I know I would have hated to be standing like a man as if the bride didn't want me on her side.

Answer 7

We were going to do this with my fiancee's cousin (she's like a sister to him) until my father had a problem with it @_@.

I had picked out a black dress with wider straps that had a ribbon the same color as the bridesmaid dresses under the bust to tie her into the bridal party.  She also was going to have a boutineer to match the guys.

I'm sure whatever you decide it'll be a beautiful!