Question about walking down the aisle... help! I need your input!?

Question

Hi Everyone,

Here is my issue. I'm am getting married on September 19th of this year. For personal reasons (and drama), my family (with whom i've never been close to), aka mother, father and brother will not attend the wedding. They have been invited and i have tried my hardest to make them a part of the planning process and excitement, but unsuccessfully. I've had a hard time coming to terms with their decision, but am at peace with it now.

However, my fiance feels it is just wrong for me to walk down the aisle on my own. He offered to have his Dad do it (Even though we haven't met yet, i heard the idea delighted him).

Personally, i am not crazy about the idea. Nothing against my future father-in-law, but to me, it is strange to have a man i'll have just met at that point to walk with and give me away to his own son.

Considering the situation with my side of the family, i actually thought that walking on my own was making an adult statement. That i am strong enough to stand on my own 2 feet even without the support of my family and that it was my own choice to give myself to my soon-to-be husband.

My closest guy friends are also not available, since they are part of our bridal party.

What do you think? what would you do?

Thankies everyone!!!

Answer 1

It's obvious that walking alone feels more important and symbolic to you than having any of your options give you a way, so that's what you should do. Just a quick question though, will it make you feel strong or will it make you feel lonely?? If you can say strong, then by all means go it alone.  

Answer 2

i honestly think that since this guy is going to be your future father-in-law, that you should do your best now to hang out with him and get to know him as much as you can before the wedding. it seems like he'd be your only option, and although it wouldn't be uncommon for you to walk down the aisle alone, you'd have to think about if you want that part traditional (with the father) or not.

only if you want him to be, however. walking alone is totally symbolic as well, and just as great.

good luck to you! i'm so happy for you! :D

Answer 3

Either walk alone or if you have a favorite uncle or grandfather ask them to do it.  There is nothing wrong with walking alone.  

Answer 4

You could walk alone. British royalty walks down the aisle alone.

You could walk down the aisle with your husband-to-be, approaching your future together.

You could ask the officiant to walk you down the aisle.

Answer 5

I think walking alone is perfect because i did but not for the same reasons, I had family available but I chose to walk alone as I had did so many times before. Good luck and congrats. Maybe tell your husband 2 be that it is not something personal it is just how you would like to do it. I am sure he will understand.

Answer 6

If it was me, I would try to make contact with your future FIL sooner, so that you could see if this was something you might consider after all.  In my own case, my father may choose not to come to my wedding, but my brother will.  If, for some reason, my brother could not come, I would probably ask either my fiance's dad or my best friends father to accompany me, just because these men have either meant something to me in the past (and present) or will mean something to me in the future, and I think it is a wonderful way to honor their place in your life.  Please consider letting your future FIL walk you down, just because this is something that is coming out of your fiance's heart.  He is not saying you need to depend on a man to "give you away"  he is probably thinking that it will be lonely for you and feels bad that your family are being ****heads.  so, think about it, but if it truly important to you that you walk down alone, so be it. tell him your reasons and thank him for being thoughtful, but you really feel this is the way to go.  God bless!

Answer 7

Sure you can walk alone - or do what my husband and I did - we walked up the aisle together, with our attendants walking in as couples before us. It was just lovely.

Answer 8

If I were in that situation I would walk alone.  The wedding ceremony is full of symbolism and it sounds like this act symbolizes something personal to you, so you should go for it.

Answer 9

Definitely walk yourself down the aisle. Explain to your fiancee that what you just wrote.

I don't have family either, and I walked by myself.  

Answer 10

I say walk alone!  I feel the idea of giving a woman away is outdated, and I will not be doing it.  We are going to walk in together, to symbolize our coming into this marriage together.  

My fiance's dad has offered to walk me too, and unlike your situation, I know him and love him, but I feel it's odd.  I'm not totally sure if my parents will come to my wedding, and they have not been a part of my wedding planning, even though I have given them opportunities (it just became more drama and fighting).  I think this shows an independent statement.

Answer 11

I would walk on my own. Or maybe you can get the best man to do it or something...if you know him. If you meet your soon to be father in law earlier and feel comfortable with him givng you away, thats cool too. and Congratulations!! May God Bless!!

Answer 12

I would walk down the aisle on my own. There will be no "who gives this woman to be married to this man" part in the wedding. It is skipped all together and there is no problem.  

Answer 13

If you want to walk down the aisle by yourself, you absolutely should. It makes a very modern, adult statement that no one is "giving you away" to your new husband, but that you have chosen him on your own and that you are independent. You don't have to have an escort, male or otherwise, to accompany you up the aisle.

Answer 14

Why not walk in with your fiance? If he's willing to let his dad walk you in, then clearly he doesn't mind if he doesn't walk with his family. I would like to walk in with mine, but I don't want to tell our parents that they don't get to be in the processional.  

Answer 15

Hi.  I really hate the "giving the bride away" thing anyway.  No one gives a person to another person.

If I were you....I would walk alone.  Not so much that you can "give yourself away"....more like, as you said, you are an adult.  

I also saw a post on here once where a bride was to walk down the aisle alone.  I loved her statement.  She said it fit her perfectly because she would walk down the aisle a single woman....and walk back down as a married woman!  I thought that was so sweet.

Yes, if it was me, I would walk alone.

Answer 16

Walking down the aisle by yourself is fine.  Also, consider having you and your groom walk into together for something different.  Or have your best friend in the world walk you down the aisle.

COngrats and best of luck in your new marriage:)

Answer 17

walk alone you are sooooooooooo right

Answer 18

Walk alone.

Answer 19

Well, with my wedding, my dad and I have never gotten along, but my mom and I have. So my mom's brother (my uncle) walked me down the aisle. Do have any close family members? Even your grandma or grandpa, it doesn't have to be a male. If you can't find anyone do it yourself. But if you want to make brownie points with your future husband and his family, let his dad walk you down, if he seemed happy to do it, why not?  Good luck with whatever you do!

Answer 20

I would say you walk alone, and just tell your fiance what you are feeling...I think it would be kind of awkward to have his dad do it...

Or, what if you had like your best guy friend walk you down, and then when he gave you away or whatever he can go stand by your fiance...

That way he is still in the bridal party....

Just a suggestion

Hope you figure it out...and congrats on your big day!

Answer 21

I personally don't considering it to be an adult (or none adult) statement, it just something that "is". A lot of women opt to walk down the aisle a lone.

I don't see a reason why someone in your bridal party also couldn't walk you down the aisle. If you are comfortable having a close friend do it, then you can make it work even if they are already in the wedding.

I think it's cute and sweet he has offered his father to you, I can see how that is a big deal for him.

But do whatever you think is right.  

Answer 22

ummmm I would like the idea of walking alone.....you are strong and you are the person giving yourself to this man nobody else so good luck..oh and im getting married sept 20th!! whoo hooo.....lets party...lol good luck

Answer 23

i see pros to all points of view. walking alone would make an adult statement. but i think when you actually doing it, you will be thinking about your daddy being beside you. i could see your new father-in-law doing it, just change the wording from "who gives this bride?" to "who welcomes this bride in to the Smith family?". as far as your guy friends go, they could do it & just take their place after they walk you down. say john will be walking you down and hes 3rd in line. the guys could just move back one when he resumes his spot.

good luck!

Answer 24

I agree with you. I think it would be a little odd and uncomfortable to have your future father in law walk you down the aisle.  I think a bride walking on her own would be SO dramatic and stunning (and as you said..adult.)  Personally.,..I don't know that I could have done it since I'm a nervous-nelly and needed some (literal) support. But if you're up for it, I think it would be awesome.  

Answer 25

The fact that your guy friends are part of the wedding party need not inhibit you from having one of them walk you down the aisle.  But there is nothing wrong with simply going yourself -- and omitting the bit of the usual service that says "Who gives this woman?".