Question for Adoptees in Reunion?

Question

How long did it take you to find your birthparents? Were they looking for you? waiting for you to find them? or did they not want to be found?

Answer 1

My search for my nmom took 20 years. She had been told I died at birth so my contacting her was a big shock. My ndad took about five minutes. He was happy to be found. He didnt know that my records were sealed and that I would have such a hard time finding her. His aunt had searched for me but gave up years ago.

Answer 2

My first mom took about three months.  She had wanted to search for me years ago, but was told that I would not want to be found.  (A simple falsehood.)  She was thrilled I found her.

I've had a good lead on my first father for months and months, but I've only now started to try to make contact.  I can tell you more about his reaction in a few days, I guess.

Answer 3

i searched on and off for my bmom for about 5 or 6 years. i found her when i finally commited to it and pushed. she had registered years before me, but refused to search for me. it was my choice and she didnt want to hurt or disrupt my life.

i found my bfather after (again) a couple of years of half hearted looking. finally bmom and i put forth a real effort and found him in about a week or so. he never made an attempt to find me, he thought i would hate him and harbored great guilt for giving me up.

i adore both of them. they are welcome additions to my life. i will never live my life without them again.

Answer 4

took me 18 years...i found her grave...i knew she had died...i found my birth sister the same week...and my birth dad..he wasnt mad..he was actually quite nice to me...he said i looked like her...and told me things about her ..and my birth sister didnt know how to look for me..she is very computer illiterate and i mean really she hasnt even set her voice mail up on her cell phone..lol...she has left her name on one of the sites i did i found out later...i paid someone to find her and my brothers and was told by that person...to contact my sister because women generally are more accepting...it took her two days after getting my letter to call me..i think she was scared...but when my cell phone rang before i picked it up or looked at it ..i knew it was her...was really odd...i met her two months later..and have my sister..i met my oldest brother the day before by fluke..he was looking for me...the other is in jail..and i havent met him...

Answer 5

My mom was looking for me.  I started my search when we got home with our son in May, and a search angel put us together in November, right after Thanksgiving.

Answer 6

My first family pretty much consists of my dad's side.  My first mother passed away, as did her mother.  I my step-grandfather left on that side of the family, and I have a good relationship with him.

My ndad and extended family did search for me, but they didn't know my first name had been changed since I was relinquished at 13 months.  Even though I was adopted at 2 years, my first name did get changed.  My grandmother on my ndad's side told me on the day we reunited that it was her dream to have all of her grandchildren together before she died.  One year ago this past January, she died at 81 having gotten to see that dream come true for her.  

From the time I started searching, it took me about 6 months to obtain the information I needed and then locate.  It's been a great 6 year reunion.

Answer 7

8 years for my mother, 10 for my father.

they weren't looking, or waiting.  

my mother was ok with it, my father denied my for the first year.