Question for EVERYBODY. Does this sound realistic?

Question

I have to write a modern day fairy tale for my english class.

a guy and a girl are at the YMCA. the way the Y is built, there's a basketball court and a track that wraps around it. the guy is there playing basketball. the girl is there because her friend wants to lose weight. the girl and her friend are being silly and having fun. the girl has a soda and some chips with her while she's running and offers some to her friend and her friend just looks at her then keeps going. the girl turns around and the guy is staring at her. she's never had eye contact like that before. "Is it some special thing he can do or is it some special thing....? she wonders. he stares at her but she keeps looking away. one time she holds eye contact and he looks away. he won't look her in the eyes after that. she leaves with her friend. the next time they see eachother is a year later at high school. when the guy first saw the girl she was friendly, funny, and vivacious. now she's depressed, anti social, rude, skips class, and is mean to people. he asked some of his friends about her and they said they "knew her in middle school. she's really nice. she makes straight A's. she's a good girl..." he becomes intrigued by her behavior and wants to know who she really is. he stares at her and when she looks back, he looks away like she's not even there (lol). 9th grade is over. it's summer time and the girl is convinced that he doesn't like her anymore. the first day of school (10th grd.) she's trying to find her classes and she looks up and he's staring at her with that deep, long gaze. she kind of stops thinking "wow. it's been a year...why would you even like me" then keeps walking. they have no classes together but every time he sees her in the hallways, he stares at her in that deep, long, once in a while if that kind of way. she's really shy and doesn't talk to anyone in class. he's on the football team, basketball team, and track team. she asks one of her friends about him and her friend says "he's too into sports for me. I saw him kissing a girl at lunch" it's the last day of school and it's just the guy, the girl, and one of the guy's friends in the hallway. he's staring at her like that again. she looks at him confused then looks straight ahead like he's not even there. he takes it as rejection and is hurt. 11th grade: he acts like she's not there and looks angry around her...

and that's all I've got.

What do you think?

Do you think a guy could ever really feel that way about a girl? I'm trying to make it sound like a fairy tale but possible. I appreciate feedback!

Answer 1

dont span it out so long and just because someone lookes at you doesnt make you think oh wow he likes me you know

Answer 2

i srt of dont get it. where's the fairytale part. Ok it totally get the idea and everything but like u shod just stop after the first cople years and tell us y he is acting that. r they both suppose to be like different or sumthing. i like ur idea and stuff, its really good but dont get how u can make it into a fairy tale

Answer 3

it is good. it might help if you compared it to a classic fairy tale.  

Answer 4

Wow you know exactly where you want this to go now it's time to fill it in and polish it a little and you've got your fairy tale. I personally would fill it out even more and try to get it Published because it sounds like a very heart warming love story a true modern day fairy tale. I think you hit the nail on the head when it came to this assignment.

Answer 5

I think you've kinda got the right idea, but there isn't much excitement or that magical feeling that defines a fairy tale. Look at High School Musical for an example of a high school romance that is almost fairy tale like. But try to make it less stereotypical and shallow than HSM was hehe.

As others have said, I wouldn't have it be spaced out over so much time. Maybe less than a year, and have them have more interaction lol. All I know is if some guy kept staring at me and never talked to me, I would probably be going "Creeeeeper".

Oh and you wouldn't be carrying chips/soda while you're running, soda makes you dehydrated and that's the last thing a runner wants, plus eating junk food undoes any weight you've managed to lose, etc.

You're on the right track, just try to add more (relevant) details and some excitement and "magic" into your story. Good luck!

Answer 6

thats a pretty good storyline i think !!!!!!!!!!

it might be more realistic if when they first met she was more flirty with him, or if they got really close to a kiss at drunken beach party or something. (one night stand)

it might not really happen as a crush for that long of a time otherwise.

My source is that it happened to me. but i'd be careful not to turn him into a desperate stalker.

but anyways, thumbs up :D

Answer 7

I think that it is EXTREMELY unlikely and unrealistic that one of them wouldn't talk to the other after 3 years if the guy acts that way. I think that you should shorten the time in which the story takes place. Like instead of 3 years, make it 3 weeks. I think that that would make it much more realistic.

Answer 8

LUV IT!!!!!!!

Answer 9

I think you need to sit down and read a dozen or so actual fairy tales, as you've caught none of the style of actual fairy tales.  Your plot seems to be generic teen romance.

Here is one of the stock fairy tales.  Girl is imprisoned or enchanted by a supernatural being, a prince rescues her, they wed, and she gets to be queen.  When people talk about fairy tale romances, this is usually what they mean.  You can find the same plot in a lot of anime.

It isn't the only fairy tale plot line, many involve moral lessons etc.., but it is most often copied one.

So to modernize it simply have the girl be in some sort of trouble, the guy then rescues her, they end up together.