Question for Jews about an atheist attending Synagogue (see details)?

Question

Mark S:

Okay, um, I've always heard it called pre-neg and not having been raised Jewish and not knowing Hebrew, I'm guessing from your mirth I'm missing something.

Fill me in! :)

Answer 1

Just take the class. Jews are against forcing people to convert, or even suggesting it, it has to be completely by their choice, this woman only thought you might change your mind.  

Answer 2

First....Sorry I did not read the other posts first so some of this is a repeat but take it as a sign that Jews who are trying to convert people or sound like they are should be addressed and its best if it comes from the Rabbi because he is responsible for his temple and its important he knows these things. She could have just gotten a little excited or she may be doing this regularly. The Rabbi will appriciate your feedback.

I converted. I took a intro to Judaism class specifically as a part of my conversion. Here are some of my classmates:

1-A man that was raised Jewish but lost touch with it and was getting frustrated because Temple was confusing and the class gave him peace of mind about re-joining the Jewish Life.

2-A woman who was married to a Jewish man for 32 years, she raised her kids Jewish, went to Temple all the time, followed all the holidays, but wanted to learn more about the history of the Jewish people and gain a deeper understanding of what her children were doing as they moved through their life cycles. She is still Catholic today.

3- A young couple was to be married. The man was not Jewish but wanted to be connected to her Judaism more closely to know how to support her and how to raise his children. He is still an Atheist.

I left him for last for you. My best friend was Atheist and took the intro to Judaism course. When he is in school I don't bother him. So six months pass and he calls me with news, I call him and say I have news too. We connect and he always makes me do first and I tell him I am converting and he was all excited because he was too. The more he learned the more connected he felt. Two people in my reform temple are not Jewish with no intention of changing.

Answer 3

Well shoot, you're activities don't fit my simple view of what an atheist is 'suppose' to be doing with his/her spare time.  And how this all fits with the 'CTT' thing will be WAY over my head.

It's nice to read your concern for others feelings.  

Hope all is well.  

--------------------------------------

edit:

Good to hear things are well.

super Boob - LOL - I forgot about that one!

Answer 4

You have absolutely *not* overstayed your welcome.  It sounds like she is just confused and not aware of what she's saying.  I guarantee that any rabbi is thrilled to have *anyone* take a basic Judaism course.  Period.  If you have any doubt--and it seems like you're pretty self-aware--then you should call the rabbi directly; I'm sure s/he would be delighted to talk to you.

Also--this is something that any rabbi would want to know about.  I've been chair of our ritual committee and if your story came to me, I would certainly speak to the rabbi and/or the woman about it.  We call it "constructive feedback."

[edit]  lol, just got the meaning of "pre-neg".  I'd never heard it before, what a hoot.

Answer 5

Just explain to her you are going not to convert but to learn about what they believe. Then if they will allow and you are still interested attend. In the end it is up to you right? I myself would be curious to hear what you learn.

Answer 6

Classes are rarely closed to non-Jews, so it's worth a double check with the secretary when you go to sign up, but otherwise you'd be VERY welcome.  The idea of class is to learn & grow & that's appropriate for everyone, whether Jewish or not, and whether interested in coverting or not.

I can picture the exchange & I'd guess the woman was completely taken aback.  She's got an love of the class in her head & lots of excitement from the people who -have- moved on from there.  So, she just didn't know what to say to you, that wouldn't make her have to take back this excitement of her own.  I guarantee you that if I'd as a Jew said I wasn't interested in moving forward, she would have also  answered with "let's see what happens".  I would have made a mental note that she was a little touchy to talk with on this subject & tried to block it out.  In other words, it wasn't you, or being not Jewish, or overstaying welcome, or Judaism.  It was her way of relating to her religion at the moment.  (She may even say something totally different the next time, after she's had time to process & absorb this new idea that the class isn't just about moving forward.)

I would highly recommend mention talking to the Rabbi, mostly to lay your fears to rest.  Also, to let him/her know about this uncomfortable situation.  He can't control his congregants & volunteers, but it's good for him to be aware.

As to being atheist, another answerer answered it.  That in no way would stop you from being a member of Reform Judaism.  You wouldn't be the only one with that position.  

Something to think about, and even ask about when your in the class, is how much of the warmth & spirituality you like comes out the Judaism's connection to a universal God concept?  I'm Reform/Reconstructionist and as much as I sit solidly on the fence about God, I do suspect there's a community connection & somewhat personal connection to a God or something, that is what makes it so powerful to be part of this religion.  I had a few experiences that got me thinking about this.  It's an interesting question, with many possible answers.  However, if you are certain of atheism (as opposed to me & the fence), Judaism has a lot of depth, & our relationship to believing in a deity is so totally different than Christianity's.

Good luck.  And do let us know what you learn & questions that come out of the class.  It'd be fun to hear.

PS EDIT:  My last few paragraphs were explanatory, & in no way were trying to say that you need to join the religion.

That pre-neg had me confused.  There's an oneg afterward.  Did this congregation, start a before gathering & call it pre-neg?  That's a funny play on words.

Answer 7

Why not just make it clear you're going to..er...well, that whatever your reasons for going, it is not to convert.

I'm assuming you are attending for the social experience, (I do the same with a youth group, occasionally...) or for the learning experience, (Which is a bonus to the youth group.)

Answer 8

Have I overstayed my welcome?

no they probably felt that by you coming to services and not yet being a jew you were interested in taking the course to learn a bit more about what Judaism is. you are always welcome even if you never convert. i knew a couple who took the class because their daughter converted. they converted themselves 6 years later  - after they had become active members even!

Should I politely decline the invitation to join the class?

if you don't want to go don't go. it wont be a big deal. many people take the class that don't intend on converting - either out of curiosity or because they have a jewish significant other.

a lot take the class never intending on converting but do.

I DO want to take it but I have absolutely no intentions or desire to convert.

like i said before that is totally ok. they wont pressure you to convert. i believe they invited you because they thought you might want to know more about judaism. if all you want to know is limited to services then by all means keep attending services and don't attend the class.

but do you ever wonder about the hebrew? you'll get a chance to learn this in the class.

do you ever wonder about the reasons why the mitzvot are so important? or why you stand when the ark is open? why we address shabbat like it is a bride? why we touch the torah when it is brought out into the congregation? why on yom kippur we fast? why on passover we recline?

as for being an atheist please consider checking out the book "for those who cant believe" its a book about how you can be a good jew and not believe in a "god".

also the class would help you understand that Judiasm is a religion about action not a religion about belief in a diety - although that is central to it, Judaism is more based on the golden rule and being a good person and less on the absolute belief in a diety that saves.

the class would clarify all of this for you, esp. in the reform congregation.

i would consider taking it if i were you - you might be surprised.

as for pushing conversion - i don't think they were doing that and you are correct they dont. but they will invite people to join who are in the community and have been for a while if they like you enough and want you part of the tribe so consider it a compliment. its not every day jews ask a non-jew to convert!

Answer 9

wow that is interesting.

I would guess that she doesn't understand what she is projecting.  Everyone likes to feel supported in belief, she is likely just overzealous.

How have you found the experience?  I am thinking of doing the same thing.  As an Atheist, I would like to learn a little more about the real Judaism.  I am now learning that most of what I thought I knew about it came from Christianity, and was false.

Is the Friday evening service religious in nature, mostly traditional ritual, or is it informative?

Answer 10

Well, you might be reading too much into it (sensitized due to R&S experiences?), given that she obviously doesn't mind you going, if it interests you, then why not?

Also, is this what you do on friday evenings? O_o