Question for anti-spanker's?

Question

You always see all this anti-spanking things about how it's cruel and sends wrong messages. They say it teaches kids to solve problems by hitting, it traumatizes them etc. etc.! I'm just curious, how many anti spanking adults who were spanked, grew up traumatized, hitting people and blame all their problems on the fact that they were spanked by their parents? If you grew up ok and your happy then you must know others who's lives were destroyed from being spanked? I'm not talking about people who were beat, just people who were spanked! I always wondered this, because everyone I know was spanked and they all seem fine? I never even heard of a time-out when I was a kid! The reason I ask is there are a lot of people trying to make a swat on the butt a crime, and I think it's a bunch of c**p!

Answer 1

Well i'm pro-spank and i agree with you. I too, don't know anyone who was traumatized or turned violent from a spank. It is ridiculous what these anti-spankers spew. They will say anything to prove their point. But the point is, they haven't proven anything.

My sister, friends, cousins and myself were all spanked, and all of us have turned into mature, responsible adults with either great jobs and/or a great family. I don't have a violent bone in my body.

Answer 2

How many of us who were spanked as children deal w/ anxiety as an adult?  Yes, that can be a factor.

Answer 3

I was spanked as a child, and I am all for a well-deserved spanking!  However, I do not go looking for children to beat (there is a huge difference between a beating and a spanking) and I do not have a warped personality as a result of being spanked!

Answer 4

i grew up not being spanked. there is a difference between a swat on the behind to get some attention and spanking to the point where you make the kid cry. there is no reason to make a kid cry or be in pain. why would you want to hurt your child?

Answer 5

I think the ppl who have a problem with it were probably the ppl who were abused and spanked too often and too hard. I know I was and for that reason I hesistate to spank my child.

Answer 6

Well, I will admit, I have spanked my son a few times. And let me clarify by spank I mean a swat on the bum over clothes. I was also spanked as a child as were all my friends, and none of us are scarred from our childhood. I think my parents only spanked me a few times and that was enough to give me the message. If you ask me, the reason why kids are so bad these days is because they have no fear of adults, and some of them need a good kick in the ***!

Answer 7

"Pro-spanking"......"anti-spanking"........ terms crack me up!

Anyway.....spanking a child will not assure a well behaved child anymore than not spanking a child. There are those who manage to find other ways of punishment and have children who both respect them and fear other consequences for their behavior.

For anyone to even remotely believe that spanking is the only way to raise a well behaved, respectful, successful child is just plain ignorant. Good consistent parenting, plain and simple, is the only way this is ever achieved.

Answer 8

I am nearly 40 and have had the unusual experience of not being spanked.  My parents dad is a psychologist, mom sp. ed teacher so my experiences were not typical.  I had time out, had to use "I" statements, had to pay restitution for my wrongdoings, had to come up with a suitable punishment myself at times, had both positive and negative reinforcement, and had to write essays about my experiences, had to ponder and think about it, we talked about it, and sometimes had to present the other side.  Really weird for 30 years ago.

I do not spank.  I have nothing against pro-spanking, any form of child-rearing whether you spank or not needs to be implemented correctly.  I do not believe spanking is crimeworthy.

Answer 9

I was spanked when I was bad. It never taught me anything. It just made me fear my parents. No child should be afraid of their parents. Not to mention humiliating especially done in front of company. So I do not spank. Time-outs do work so I see no reason in spanking either. However I will say spanking did not traumatize me for life, I am normal.

Answer 10

spanking is just cruel and it doesnt work on civilised creature like humans

Answer 11

i was spanked a little by my parents, but i'm still fine.

It is a bunch of c**p what people say. As long as u don't kick ur child ......it's fine.

Answer 12

I think there are other ways to deal with it. I also think it is so easy to get out of control and take your anger out on your children. An occasional swat isn't horrible, but I do think it's way too easy for it to escalate.

Answer 13

I totally agree with you! Some of the most well behaved kids I know were spanked, and as adults they are just fine! Just like me! It's not like we were ever left with bruises! As for teaching kids to solve problems by hitting, that's another parenting issue. You have to make it clear who can spank, when and, mostly, why, then explain to them how to solve their problems without hitting! I never went around hitting people because they made me mad. Not once did I get into a fist fight or anything of that short.

Answer 14

I wouldn't say I'm anti-spanking, but I think that there can be more effective ways of getting your child to behave that doesn't involve raising a hand to your child.  I've tried spanking, and I felt like such a s*****k afterward that I can't do it again.  Just the look in my kids eyes afterward made me want to cry.  As a child I was spanked once in a while I've been told (I don't remember, I was little)  and I turned out all right.  But I like to try other means of discipline, which works for me.  I think sometimes spanking works, and sometimes it doesn't.

Answer 15

That is not true. Literally, a swat on the butt is ok. It really doesn't have an affect. I was hit but only to a certain age and then it was time-out. Time outs can be much more effective if used properly. It teaches respect and gets kids' attention. It teaches them coping skills. Things don't always go their way all of the time. That's how life is. Parents need to think more about what they are doing to their kids and try to see things from their perspective. Listen to them. Think about the future and what skills they need to have. It seems like some parents just want to go on auto pilot. They don't think of the consequences of their actions to their kids. That is really what this is about.  You can use spanking if it's appropriate but it seems rarely necessary.

My husband and his brothers were spanked. His parents were overly strict and I don't think any of them are close to his parents. All of them have had problems. My husband seems to have fared the best. His dad is still in denial. But really his parents were just clueless. They didn't know any better and they still don't. His dad is very negative and thinks everyone is against him and out to get him. He only sees things from his perspective. It's the only one that has merit in his eyes. That is how he treats people. Is it a wonder that his relationship with his kids is strained and tumultous? It's best to just agree with him. I'm not used to doing that because I was always able to say how I really think and talk about things. It teaches critical thinking. It makes you more compassionate and empathetic.

Answer 16

I was NEVER spanked... HOWEVER, my dad would show me the 'belt' and threaten to use it.... That was MORE than enough to keep me in line! lol So I grew up a goody-goody who never did anything wrong.

So, I don't think anyone needs to lay a hand on their kids - just the threat of getting in big trouble is enough. I think most kids today aren't scared of their parents at all, and that's why they feel no fear and walk all over them.

Answer 17

I don't know one person in real life who is an anti-spanker.

Hey Jenn my husband and I were both spanked aswell It never hurt us. Infact I look back at some of the times I was spanked and sure it hurt (once my mum broke the wooden spoon on my butt) and I laugh because I certainly deserved it. Once I painted in black paint all over the house 'Ruth is a very naughty girl she painted this!" a las this did not go down too well and mum knew it was me and not my little sister as she was 3 at the time. LOL! I also remember hearing either of our whole names yelled out and no matter where we were we would run to the kitchen and grab everything out of the second draw. then we would run down the street pissing our pants laughing. God it was funny.

Edit:

And yes I have spanked my child once it worked he has never done what he did again! But we call it at smack not spank. Spanking sounds like some weird sexual thing.

Answer 18

Just wanted to say I 100% agree with you!!!!!  I was spanked as a child, as was my husband. I am not a traumatized adult. We spank our children as well.

Answer 19

My parents 'spanked' me.  As a child my parents would spank me with a belt, but I only found out as an adult that they beat me with it compared to 'spanking'.  My daughter is 21 months old and I couldn't imagine smacking or spanking her on any level.  

The ONLY reason I am happy and ok is because I took 8 years of therapy for the beatings, emotional and psychological abuse.  Hitting the child does not solve anything.  Most children overcome it by laughing in your face or resenting and hating their parents.  

DISCIPLINE is to guide and correct your child positively and effectively into what is right from wrong.  Violence doesn't come into it.  Postive reinforcement does.

You think that hitting or spanking or smacking (whatever YOU want to call it) will make a happy, positive, responsible and productive member of society, than by all means smack your kid up.  I chose not to out of respect and love for my baby.