Question for any mothers who have had a strong willed little girl! *Back to school shopping**

Question

Ok so I am taking my daughter back to school shopping for the first time ever and our views on what is cute/appropriate are completely different. I like for her to wear little dresses and bows and she tells me that her friends make fun of her when she wears that and say that she looks like a baby. I don’t want her to get picked on by the little girls in her class because of what I make her wear.

The whole reason for this shopping trip is to allow her to pick out her own clothes so she can go to school feeling confident and ready to face the world. I have always picked out her clothes and am very nervous on what this day is going to bring. I want to have fun and let her express herself but at the same time I still want her to look like a young lady. How can I draw this line and how should I go about it without her feeling like I am taking over and not allowing her to express herself? Please any mothers who know what I’m talking about and have been through this help!!!

Answer 1

Dresses with bows are not appropriate for school anymore. This is not the 1950's. They are adorable on infants and toddler girls, not for school girls. Jeans, t-shirts, etc are better because they will be out playing at recess in the dirt. Yes, I can completely understand why she would not want to dress that way.

Answer 2

well it is only school and if she is the only one looking like a young lady than yes she will get picked on let her pick out her own clothes but if she picks out somthing totally unexceptable them u draw the line but wanting to look cool for school is completely normal, proplally every mom goes through this good luck!

Answer 3

Well, my mom's rule was always that as long as it wasn't inappropriate or suggestive, and we bought it with our own money, we could wear whatever we wanted, because she wasn't going to make fashion preferences into a big battle. Personally, I like it - as long as what she's wearing is decent, then is there an issue? And as far as school clothes go, jeans and t-shirts are pretty much standard. For now, just reserve veto power for items you think are inappropriate.  

Answer 4

Let her pick the style of clothing she likes....but draw the line on clothes that show too much skin or are too tight. I wouldn't force my daughter into dresses and bows if she didn't want it. (i have a daughter)

Answer 5

First oif all what grade is she in?

I think bows are fine if it is the new modern style bows & korker bows.

Dresses, well it depends on the dress and certainly not dresses every day.

I would say nothing sleveless, nothing too short, always have biker shorts under dresses.

Nothing skin tight.

I have a 12 year old girl and an 8 year old girl, feel free to contact me to discuss kids clothes further.

Answer 6

Though I am not yet a mother, I also have some suggestions for this problem.  First and foremost, I'd set a budget for your daughter's shopping before you go out, since she will have the majority say in what she is wearing.  (she may try to get you to buy her name brand clothes...think abercrombie, hollister)  I'd set a reasonable amount based on what you would normally spend if you'd picked out the clothes.  

Secondly, I'd probably have a discussion with her about appropriate clothes ahead of time, as there seem to be WAY too many mini-skirts in the kids section these days.  (boy do I sound old!)  Just because it is in the kids section, doesn't make it appropriate!  

Third, go to the store, let her pick out her clothes and if she picks out clothes that seem really inappropriate, you'll worry about that discussion then.  For now, trust that she will pick out age-appropriate clothes that will make her feel good.  

Try to remember that she is growing up and it may be hard for you to see her wear some of the "goofy looking trends" reminiscent of the 80's.   BUT, if it makes her feel good, there really is no harm.

Oh, and you may want to remind her of when her next shopping trip will be.  Trends can leave in a matter of months and she'll be left with all her trendy clothes until it is time to go shopping again.  

Good luck and hope it goes well!

Answer 7

I am not a mother but I hope you don't mind me answering.

When I was younger (elementary school... I'm 20 now) my mother always told me I could wear anything I wanted as long as it was clean, weather appropriate, and not revealing. It may sound stupid, but her letting me wear almost anything let me creativity and individuality grow, while also showing me that my mother could put trust in me. Giving your daughter your trust to start making some decisions (albeit small ones) will give her confidence I think!

Answer 8

Well, you don't say how old she is.  But generally, dresses and bows are pretty much for preschoolers.

Fact of the matter is, kids (but ESPECIALLY girls) are judged by their peers by their choice in clothing.  It's completely unfair, but that doesn't make it any less true.  Your daughter's life could be made miserable by the fact she's being teased by other girls.  To us, as presumably self-confident adults and parents, we can say to just ignore it. But to a young girl, the words of her peers carry a LOT of weight.

Jeans and some form of cute T-shirts are pretty much what most kids are wearing.  There are some cute skirt outfits there, but most kids dress casually and comfortably at school.  You can also find fashionable outfits that don't look designed for a 19 year old!  A couple years ago, it was hard to find fashionable, yet modest outfits for girls.  That has gotten better.

Let her pick out some things.  Maintain "Veto" power for the outfits that are too mature.  Maybe insist that she choose one skirt outfit for nice occasions.  But if she's telling you she's being picked on, it's time to give her a little more independence in choosing her own clothes.

Best of luck

Answer 9

i gave Ryans mom a thumbs up

i wish i could give her a hundred

she said it all

Answer 10

Let her pick out her clothes. She has an idea of how she wants to dress. Just remind her of school dress code if she picks out like speggetti strap shirts. Even Kindegarden kids can't wear speggetti straps.

My daughter loves dressed but, would never allow me to put pigtails or bows in her hair. Have you seen those dresses with leggings under them?  They are really in style and might be exactly the compermise your looking for.