Question for anybody who is dating/married to somebody in the Military?

Question

How do you make the extended periods of time that they're away from you easier? I'm kind of new to this, but it drives me crazy with missing him so much, and it's so hard seeing him for a weekend here and there and then having him leave for a month or more. (It's going to be even worse when he leaves for a tour next year). I've pretty much been living for the next time I see him, and it's really rough on me emotionally. Even with us talking on the phone everyday!

So, how do YOU deal with it? And if you aren't with somebody in the Military, what would you suggest?

Answer 1

My bf left at the beginning of April I was 8 months pregnant I'm also in the military but he doesn't get back until April.Yes we are really close we met straight out of bootcamp and we have been together since we went everywhere together and I don't have many friends bc... I dont know I just dont!! but anyways I've started taking classes 2 right now ,working eveyday , and taking care of our son so im pretty busy all the time I also hang out with my friends more to take my mind off of it just look at it like this it could be worse I only get to communicate with him through email!!!! Good luck and stay strong  

Answer 2

Use the time to broaden your horizons.

Take a class or two, volunteer for a shelter, soup kitchen or another organization.   Learn a new language.  Working outside the home can give you added income, some new social contacts and really help pass the time, as well as learning new skills.  

Answer 3

I find that working out helps me a lot.  I'm a full-time student plus I have a part-time job so I totally agree with everyone else when they say stay busy. Any way you look at it its hard and you're going to/already miss him, but staying busy is the best policy because it gets your mind off missing him even for a little bit. The worst days for me are those where I don't have class or work and I'm just chilling around doing nothing.  Send him cards, packages, letters, etc... depending on how much time you have you could try volunteering with some organization that would be another way to get your mind on something else for a little bit so you're not dwelling on things.  In any case... sending many good thoughts your way! Stay strong!

Answer 4

I want did when my husband was always away and I mean always away I was n school and worked and just spent lot of time with family no really friend and yes i missed him like crazy and we talked on the phone all the day but we he went to iraq all i had was mayb email and wrote everyday but time goes by fast  

Answer 5

When my husband went on deployments it helped to have distractions. Work, school, kids. Write him letters and emails. I enjoyed putting care packages together for him. Finding little things he needed or would enjoy. Try to stay busy. That is the best advice I can give.

Answer 6

be self-sufficient and keep yourself busy.  always strive to better yourself, as he is.  

Answer 7

well before his tour, wed talk on the phone everynight and id see him like one day a month also. Id go to school, then immediately to work. then talk to him, then go to bed. that wore me out, but it made the time go by faster.

Now hes deployed (has been since march) and im doing 18 hours of college this semester and next semester. plus i did some summer classes lol. Everything is going by very fast and im extremely accustumed to him being gone, and only sometimes do i find myself laying in bed crying, usually im trying to see how much i can better myself in this long long long wait of time.

Answer 8

Well take this time to make self improvements. I'm not sure if you have kids or not....But set work out goals at the gym start working out. Volunteer at different places, or hang out with friends. Take up new hobbies something fun that maybe you can show off once your man gets back. Give yourself a complete makeover nothing to drastic that he won't notice who you are lol. Remember to write him sometimes getting it all out on paper can make you feel better. I have thoughts running through my head and I write him and try to make him feel apart of my everyday life. Take a lot of pictures it's always nice for them to recieve pictures and see your smiling face:] Also make sure you have a lot of pictures of your man. I regret this fact now that my hubby is deployed. I don't have many pictures to look at:[Most importantly get out the house don't just lay around and be depressed. Even if it is just going to the grocery store get out and get some fresh air and be around other people. Trust me you will have those days when you just want to be left alone and stay to yourself! Just try to stay positive you will hear all sorts of negative things about the military. Try to surround yourself with positive people I cannot stress this enough. People that will keep you going and be there for you. Try to get out there and get and get more information. There is a lot I am still learning I am a newlywed. Just try to be more independent, it was hard for me at first!! Now I am easing into it and things are looking up for me. Your man will be so proud of you trust me:]

Answer 9

I am not married to someone in the military, however, my sister is.  The way she coped with her husband being gone was by continuously keeping herself busy.  She got a full-time job, walked. went to the gym, cleaned her house (even if it didn't need it), rearranged her house, cabinets, ect., and hung out with friends and family.

I hope this helped and I am looking forward to when he comes back for you!  :)  

Answer 10

This is tough, but not very different from ordinary Long Distance Relationships though. You have to keep yourself busy, make friends, make projects, read, indulge in those simple pleasures, touch base with your family, with his family, get to know him even when he's away.  I am waiting on my fíancée to be ready for our wedding, and in the meantime, I find that learning French, taking cooking courses, writing my book, editing pictures, uploading videos and making him silly private videos keeps me too busy to be melancholic.

It's really up to you to keep yourself in high spirits, but if you feel this is a permanent situation and you really cannot stand it, then you would have to consider your alternatives.