Question for current or past foster parents.?

Question

I am thinking about applying to be a foster care. I have heard some horror stories and I have heard some real good ones. I can not have children and I want to give atleast one child a home who needs some love and attention. Thanks for being candid. Please only serious people reply, no spam.

Answer 1

My wife and I have been fostering for nearly 20 years.  We have had over 100 kids live with us in that time.  We had exactly one birth parent call us and thank us for keeping their child in school and then going on to college, so don't expect gratitude (from anyone). Yes we have our horror stories but last week I became the godfather to one of my former foster kid's child. How cool is that!

Pay attention to your training and don't think that love is enough to "fix" any emotional problems the child may have due to loss and separation.  All foster children have lost a great deal and will suffer (to varying degrees) because of it.  Love is the powerful emotion that keeps you coming back and never giving up; training and patients are the elements that help you help your child overcome the grief and losses they have had to endure.

Answer 2

As a foster parent for almost 3 years I would not recommend going into foster care counting on adopting the child you fall in love with. We mostly care for newborns and infants but have had several sibling groups. The family has a year to get their act together and the caseworkers have a year to locate any extended family member. Many times the 'system' extends these deadlines even though the family has ignored this child for the year. The way we look at this is we are given these children to expose them to God's love for as long as the system permits. The older the child, the more work it will be to build trust as these children have been through so much. Even the most precious infants have either been exposed to drugs or violence or something that caused them to be removed from family. Am I saying not to do this? No!! Just go in with eyes wide open. Get a good support system with your support worker and your local foster parents group. Find other foster parent in your area to talk to. . It is not easy but it is well worth it!!  I have loved each child in their own way and learned so much from them.Some had happy endings, some not, but we keep them all in our prayers. Good luck, Mema and Graddy  

Answer 3

Foster children are in the Foster Care System because their parents were not caring for them in one way shape or form. The Foster Care System will allow the natural parents numerous "chances" to make things right and the ultimate goal is to reunite families. Often, this is not the case and children are left in "the system" until they reach adult status and are emancipated.

The horror stories you've heard are probably true. These poor children have been taken away from their parents and often have emotional problems adjusting, unless you get an infant or toddler. Even then, their history is important. Did the mother do drugs while pregnant?, etc.

I think you can have a positive experience with this, just be selective on the age of the children and be prepared for some difficulties.