Question for everyone who has kids.?

Question

Ok my gf and my self finally moved in together. She already has 2 kids girl is 5 boy is going to turn 4. I don’t have a problem since we moved in Ive been sleeping on the freaken floor almost 4 days out of the week because all 4 of us don’t fit on the bed. At what age do you all think she should put her foot down and say no your not sleeping on the bed with us?

Answer 1

That's tuff 2 say.  Some kids need mommy longer than others.  I remember as a child that any time I had a bellyache, or had nightmares, I'd run to mommy's room for comfort.  Do the kids have there own room(s)?  If they share a room, maybe they could share the same bed as well, or if they don't even sleep in the same room, could they possibly be moved into the same room?  -hope this helps

Answer 2

probably should have already happened. my son is 4 and he has been going to bed in his bed for a while. He still comes in in the middle of the night or early morning and sometimes I am lazy and dont feel like escorting him back to his room so I let him sleep for a few hours but she has really got to break the cycle. My son would sleep with me all the time if I let him.

Answer 3

wow , my children who are 5 months old , and 20 months old , have never slept in bed with my husband and I , we put them in a crib , right from the hospital ... But being that her children are so used to sleeping with her , it's going to be a very hard habit to break ... But you are just going to have to do it .. they will scream and through tantrums most likely , but they can't stay there forever , I would suggest tonight , stating them in there own beds ...

Answer 4

In my opinion, they should have been sleeping in their own beds for years.

Also in my opinion, this is something you guys should have discussed before making such a committment.

Answer 5

Errr....well you can't just put the kids on the floor. That's kinda mean. . . I think you should buy another bed.

I don't think the kid's should be sleeping with her though. . . now's the time to put your foot down.

Answer 6

I understand your point but if you just moved in together she can't just kick them out.  One their used to sharing mommy's bed and two it'll make them resent you more.  All you have to do is try moving them when they fall asleep.  They'll get the sleepy time with mommy but you guys get to sleep together.  Or make beds for them on the floor so they can still be with her.

Answer 7

I think you should move out. (Unless it was your place, first.) This isn't a good situation; come on, 4 people, and only one room? Do some better planning, work harder, and get a bigger place. Problem solved.

Answer 8

Oh, don't you wish kids could stay young forever?

Answer 9

I think she should never have let them sleep in the bed with her in the first place.  My kids sometimes slept in the bed with me while they were infants breastfeeding after the middle of the night feeding.  But they always went to bed in their own bed, and once they were weaned, they never slept in my bed.

Answer 10

Now they should be sleeping in their own room and bed. Long time ago they should been sleeping in their own room. It time for the mother to tell them that they can't sleep with her anymore and need to sleep in their own room.

Answer 11

5 and 4 years ago respectively.

Answer 12

I think she should do that now. Talk to her and explain why you should sleep with her and not them. They will get so used to sleeping with her, they we have a hard time sleeping anywhere else! You don't deserve to sleep on the floor and if you are going to have relationship, you should make the things that are not allowed or things you don't like clear. Good Luck! :)

Answer 13

well she should have done that from the get go honestly..  if you have a two bedroom place, she can make the one bedroom for the kids since they are young.. get bunk beds or something.  she shoudlnt make you sleep on the friggin floor..geez.  if she dosnt start the trsnforming now with the kids, they will be sleeping in the same bed till there way older and that is a big issue.. really she should have done it when they were old enough to be in a toddler bed.. my son at 8 months figured out how to get out of the crib. it was scary b/c  i would find him sleeping on the floor instead of his crib.. i went out and purchased a toddler bed.. one tha tis real low to the floor and from that point on he slep in there..  i had it in my room for the beginning and then i slowly moved it to the other room..  evenuatlly things worked out and he is 4 now and has always slep alone in his own bed.

Answer 14

honestly the kids should have never been sleeping in the bed with her, but nothing against her some just feel better with their babies next to them. I do think that at those kids ages they are old enough to know that they can't. That's ridiculous

Answer 15

No better time than the present. They should definitely be able to handle it by now

Answer 16

It's kinda hard to say.  You should get a todler bed or two, and put them right next to your big bed.  You can tell the kids that only one of them can sleep in the bed at a time, and take turns, so that there is one kid in bed every night, but they trade off each night.  The one who is not sleeping in bed will sleep in the toddler bed, which should be placed either right next to the bed or at the foot of the bed.  You should not have to sleep on the floor, for sure!  

If they won't listen you'll have to just put your foot down, and do it your way, not theirs.

Another approach, is to simply sleep somewhere else, or get another bed in the room, until they grow out of it, which they will, eventually.  The five year old will probubly grow out of it in less than a year, the four year old still probubly had a while.  

But you also have to be rather understandning, because, you can immagine how clingy they are to their mom, which all they have had to go through.  

I suggest one in bed at time, no arguments, that's just the rule.  See how that works.

Answer 17

She should have done that from the start - unless there's a storm that they are afraid of or they are sick - there is no reason why kids have to sleep with their parents.

Answer 18

The kids should have been sleeping by themselves by now.  Hurry up and get them out of that bed before it's too late!!!  Trust me, I know.  My daughter was sleeping in my bed until she was 8 or 9 years old until I put my foot down.  There are time when she still wants to sleep with me and she is 12 now!!!

Answer 19

Like from birth.  I have two girls age 10 and 2 and they have never slept with us.  In fact, my 2 year just got out of her baby bed last week and doing just fine in her big girl bed.  If my 2 year old can do it I'm sure a 4 and 5 year old can.

Answer 20

yeah, that's just odd!

I think 2 is the age when it is healthy to make them start sleeping alone.  

explain to your gf that you want the kids to be comfortable and you understand that they have had to transition too with the new family situation but you really want to start sharing a bed with her, and only her.. ask when she thinks that will be possible...

try act understanding even if you are not (I know I wouldn't be)

maybe suggest another bed for the kids to sleep in together (which is still odd to me)

good luck!

Answer 21

roflmao! hahaha uhm probably now and 4 years from now!

Answer 22

I think that kids should always sleep in their own beds starting from infancy.

Answer 23

Kids should NEVER Sleep in bed with you! My stepson was 9 before he finally was willing to sleep alone. Talk about NO s*x life! When I have kids I will never let my kids sleep with me, unless they have a bad dream or something. You need to get them out of the bed now. It will be hard, but you must stick to it! GL!

Answer 24

She should've put her foot down a long time ago.

The kids need their own bed, and she needs her own space!

Maybe now you can help her. Get the kids each a bed, make their space comfy with a night lite and cool things. Every night they sleep through in their own bed they get a sticker! Make a sticker chart!

It's a hard habit to break, and sounds like she will need your help.

Answer 25

Really they should already should be sleeping on their own bed, if i was you i will talk to their mother and make them sleep in their own bed

Answer 26

Yeah, I think if she wants a relationship with you the kids need to sleep in their own beds.

Answer 27

Should have been done a long time ago, in my opinion.

Answer 28

How long have you lived together? Did she move in with you, you move in with her or did you guys move into a new place together? The kids might be scared about a new home and bedrooms.  If thats the case I would say leave them be for a few weeks until they get used to everything.  If you guys have lived there for awhile, or you moved into her place, I would say its time for the kids to start sleeping in their own beds.  Have their mom explain that they are a big girl and a big boy, and big kids sleep in their own beds.  Maybe let them pick out a piece of decoration for their rooms to make it a big boy/girl room.

Answer 29

I don't know....I wouldn't want my kids sleeping in bed with me and my boyfriend...it would just be weird...however I am not in that situation. I have been married for 8yrs and my husband is the father of my son who will be 4 tomorrow and my 2yr old daughter and my kids have never slept in bed with us...they have been in their cribs/beds since birth and have been sleeping through the night since 1 mo old.....I never wanted to have the problem of my kids sleeping with me and then they be 5 and trying to get them out of bed.........good luck!

Maybe buy the kids a cool new bed and paint and decorate their rooms so that it is special for them?

Answer 30

I was a single mother with two kids. And even when we were by our self's I did not let them sleep with me. So when I got with there step dad it was never a problem. It was hard but I never let them do it. I think it is a little old for the kids to be sleeping in her bed even if you wrent there. Of course to each there own.

Answer 31

Didn't you know her feelings on co-sleeping before you moved in with her?  

If so, why didn't you discuss it then?

If the two of you are going to have a relationship with each other, you need to be able to respect & understand each other -and- communicate politely & empathetically with each other on issues that are important to you.