Question for parents in the army with kids

Question

say my wife and i join the army at the same time, who would be their to raise our 2 year old son? would we deploy at different times or kinda like tough luck, we have to find some one to watch him while were gone?

Answer 1

Bad idea really but they can and have deployed tons of married soldiers together.  Prior to enlisting you would need to have legal papers to take care of who is going to be the guardian of any children you have while you are deployed.  If you don't have anyone that is willing to raise your child for 12 months+ you will not be able to both enlist.  Best idea is for one of you to enlist and the other get a Department of Defense or Department of the Army job on base that pays well but you can stay back and take care of your son while the other deploys.  Your son deserves parents to raise him.

Answer 2

It is not wise for both of you to join th army.  You will have to sign over custody to someone else b4 you can go to basic.  The Army will tell you "Anything" to get you to join.  There is a chance that you guys wouldn't even be stationed at the same place.  You guys could deploy at the same time to two diff places.  You guys will spend more time away from each other then together.  There are times you will be in the field for weeks at a time.  Well I hope you guys make the right decision.  

Answer 3

When you are dual military, you have to have what they call a Family Care Plan. It is a detailed plan covering what will happen to you kids if you deploy, are on training or anytime you can't be with them. You have to designate a short term care provider and a long term provider. If you do not have an adequate care plan, one of you will be chaptered out of the army. For deployments, it just depends. My husband and I were dual military and I am out now b/c if I had stayed in, we would both be in iraq right now. ANd there are other couples in his brigade that are married and both care. This unit didn't care. I have known people that had units who tried to keep one from deploying so they could stay with the kids, but that is a rarity. Another scenario to think about is if you are assigned to different units. One of you could deploy for a year and come back just in time to say goodbye to your spouse b/c they are getting ready to deploy. That is a very common occurance. Having one parent gone is very hard on the kids...having both of them gone is even worse. It is a huge decision....think about it hard.  

Answer 4

Someone said: "Both parents are not deployed at the same time unless they volunteer to be."

That is NOT true. Both can be deployed and you must have a family plan or someone WILL be kicked out of the army. No way around it. You must have a family plan in case you both get deployed.

Answer 5

unfortunately, there are a lot of families that go through this. you would have to designate someone to look after your children for you both.

there is a great website www.militaryonesource.com i believe you might be able to log on, but i think you might have to already be in the military. but they are set up to help families with all sorts of issues from money, education, child care and careers.

when you go in, you will have to legally assign someone to watch your children in case of situations that arise.

hopefully, you wont be gone at the same time. have you thought about if you will be stationed together. often that can cause trouble if you both are going into two different MOS. if you both want the same one, you have a better chance of not having to fight red tape.

good luck

Answer 6

First - I am not in the Army but I did 24 years in the Navy and was a single Mom for 9 of those years and had two boys.

Military married to military and single military parents are REQUIRED to sign a "Pg. 13/availability for deployment", which simply says you have made arrangements for child care.  Both parents are not deployed at the same time unless they volunteer to be. In your case, I would recommend one parent staying on shore duty and home to raise your children while the other is deployed -

I will not lie - it is tough being in the military and raising children; when your spouse is also in the service it makes it twice as difficult for duty assignment puroposes. The man I eventually married was Navy so we were fortuante to work out a good sea-shore rotation and homesteaded in the Virginia area -

Best of luck to you! Stick together and remember: The things you endure only make you stronger. Recommend connecting with other dual military families to get a good spin on what they are doing as well.

Answer 7

You'd have to find someone else to care for him while you both were gone. Maybe even 2 people. If you have to go right this minute, which happens sometime, you'd need someone who could look after him temporarily until your permanent caretaker arrived to get him.