Question for parents of mainstreamed kids with autism.?

Question

My son is 4 and has high functioning autism, diagnosis will probably change to Aspergers as he gets older. He has made amazing progress in the last year since he was diagnosed and we began therapies. It is very likely that he will be mainstreamed into a regular classroom when he enters kindergarten.

When I see him, he seems pretty darn typical to me. But when I see him with his pre-school class (a mix of typical and mild special needs kids), I see the differences: he's extremely affectionate & hugs the other little kids; he gets too close when he speaks to them; he fidgets more than the rest of them; he enjoys minor defiances (legs out straight when told to criss-cross-applesauce).

My question is: has it been your experience that these behaviors improve as the child gets older? Or do they still "stick out" even when mainstreamed?

Answer 1

My experience with our son has been that although it is a slow process, behaviors will improve given the proper support, love and acceptance at home and at school via special ed programs. Ours is 15 and still is a bit quirky, but he does have alot of friends and he does socialize. Our son will probably always be fidgety and march to the beat of a different drummer because that's just how he's wired. We accept him and have taught him to embrace those differences. Observation of and interaction with peers is where our son learned what is acceptable and what is not. Your son will do the same. His desire to "fit it" or "be normal" was very important to him and still is.  Majority of his education has been a combination of spec ed classes and mainstreaming which we believe gave him the best of both worlds. When I think back to when my son was 4 and then see him now, I too am amazed at the leaps and bounds of progress he has made socially, academically and emotionally.  He truly is an amazing young man. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Most of the things that define a child as autistic or aspergers will always be there.  However, behaviors can change as they learn how to react, how to read people and to understand that certain things they see as evident and natural are not always what is socially appropriate.  Your son will need to work at learning to recognize when someone may not want to be hugged, to respect people's personal space (and that is a tough one...especially if the child is excited or really likes the person).  Many adult's with aspergers admit these are issues they still struggle with and must make conscious efforts to address.  It takes time, consistency and working with patient and experienced staff (a one on one aide can be very helpful in this situation) to "show" a child what and when he needs to be aware of others.  It can be done and I have seen children make incrediable progress.  As for the small defiances, most parents of spectrum kids will tell you to choose your battles, but not all teachers (especially in mainstreamed classes) will take that road.  It will be important to have a good behavioral plan in place as part of his IEP when he starts school that addresses how these minor infractions should ,and when, be handled.  Generally, if the behavior is not disruptive of others and is not causing safety concerns, the best thing to do is ignore it and reward when he does the correct thing.  The teachers should be doing something along the lines of "I really like how Jilly is sitting with her legs crossed" and then if your son sits the way he was requested she can say "Billy, I really like that you are sitting criss crossed."  The fidgetting is something that may never go away but can be helped if teachers allow him to get up and move about every so often...having him pass out supplies, put away toys , etc are good ways to do so in the class.  Also, there are special cushions that can help...they let the child feel like they are moving while sitting in their chairs...your PT should be able to tell you where to get them.

Answer 3

My son turns 6 next month same diag.. He is in mainstream K. He has an aide. My son is the opp about affection. He doesnt want to be around the other ones at least not closely. My son sticks out but since the kids are younger it is better they know there is something diff and if the teach is good she teaches them respon of being aware of what the child is doing and trying to make friend but also knowing when to back off and not take it personal. Yes he will stick out but the other will not notice later on.. it will become oh its him again. Theres one little girl autistic in my sons school who throws her shoes accross the room last year  the kids were all like teacher she throwing them again make her stop this year their like it mine now!

Answer 4

It really depends on the child, and what kind of work you are doing at home. I think it may show more because he is younger and hasn't learned all the social skills that we learn as we grow, and then again he may not stick out because there are many children, my own included who are perfectly normal children and have no social skills what so ever,