Question for parents only?

Question

My boyfriend and I are 18 (not thinking about babies yet of course... at least not until we're 28 or so). But we talk about our future together sometimes and he sometimes mentions he doesn't want kids, and I feel the same way because neither one of us is much of a fan of kids.

So I was wondering, are there any parents out there who felt the same way as us? You thought to yourself "kids, not my thing" but then once that baby arrived somewhere down the line you were so happy and in love with your little boy/girl that you couldn't believe you ever thought kids wouldn't be your thing?

I'm just hoping that happens to us. If we did have kids. I'd want us to be happy about it, not look at is as a mistake.

Share me some stories if they're similar to what I'm feeling. I'd love to hear them =)

Answer 1

my hubby dint want kids.. more on the fact that its a "bad" world out there and was unsure of how good a dad he'd be...

well i wanted kids.. and after  years togeather we had our son who is just shy of 4mth...

he was horable at the prenatal vists not wanting to help..ect.. the day our son was born it was like a light being fliped...

its a better world cuz of our son and hes a great dad...

wasnt based on kids are icky... but as it is everyones kids are bad cept your own..LOL

i have a friend that has 2 kids and they will make ANYONE want to spay themselfs...

but i know i can raise my kid better then her...  LOL

but not everyone ants kids...  you have to make up your own mind... are you prepaired to be 50 with  no children to be proud of... or bounce that perfect grandbaby on your knee

not me

to each there own

Answer 2

This is normal. You're young and at this point you're still discovering each other. Being parents would make that harder. Once you get settled though things start to change. It's a natural progression. What you said in paragraph 2 is exactly how it happened for us.  We had our first when we were 26. It is the greatest experience you'll ever know.

Answer 3

Yah frances was the greatest thing that happened to me

Answer 4

When I was 18 I swore I never wanted kids, even bet my mom $$ that I would never have them. I got married when I was 24 and feelings suddenly changed completely. Here I am 5 years later with two beautiful girls(3 years and 8 months) that I can't imagine not being here. My mom never collected on her money but I guess I owe her some $$. Once I hit 21 and figured out more what was important in life priorities started to change.

Answer 5

i was like you guys. didn't ever want kids. well i got with this douche bag and was with him like 3 1/2 -4 years and got prg. so he cheated on me while i was prg. so i had the baby and its like my resentment towards said douche rubbed off on how i bonded with the baby. i just wasn't happy in love with my kid like you hear all the time. but i left that guy and met another man who i married and we had another baby who i love sooo much i could squeeze his fat little butt in two. it really makes me sad to think about the kind of bond i could have had with my first child. who i do love don't get me wrong. i just didn't have the initial baby bond. weather it was a factor of age or really my dilemma with the first father i don't know. but you should not have kids till your very happy and secure with your man. if there is any doubt don't do it.  

Answer 6

I can't tell you how many times I said "I'm NEVER having any kids" as I was growing up. Even when I was happily married and seven months pregnant with my first baby, I found myself thinking that, lol-a little late then! But, I've been married for 25 years now, and we have 2 kids that we love very much. It wasn't all wonderful-in fact, a lot of being a parent just downright sucks. Some days I really wondered what I was doing. I'd do it again, though, in a heartbeat. One of my brothers was a real hippie-he was never going to have any either because there are too many people as it is-but he has 2 kids now too, lol. He's absolutely in love with them too. Things change as you grow up, but if you still feel like you don't want any when you get older, that's good too. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. Good luck to you!

Answer 7

Absolutely! The same thing happened to me. I always said that i would never have kids, and anyone that knew me knew i wasn't a big fan of children, but once my first daughter was born, i completely changed my mind. You think you don't like kids, but really, you don't like OTHER people's kids. If you have your own, you get to raise them how you want, and they become your whole life. Its like having a best friend that you can mold into perfection. That doesn't mean its easy though, so be prepared. And good luck with your future.  

Answer 8

Well you are only 18, so you guys have plenty of time to change your mind. When I was your age, I swore I did not want kids (not a kid person.) Now I have two with another on the way, children change your life and I don't see how you couldn't love your child once you laid eyes on them.  

Answer 9

Almost everyone who has kids will tell you that they are the light of their lives and the best thing that ever happened to them, etc.

However, parenting is hard and all-consuming.  I definitely think that people shouldn't have kids unless they absolutely want them.  If someone doesn't want children, they should not have them.

Answer 10

I am 29 and the proud father of an 18 month old daughter. hopefully i can besotw unto you some thoughts about a similar situation i found myself in years ago.

with my career taking off, i could never see myself having kids. i just loved living my life with my wife fulfilling my greatest dreams. but before i knew it, my wife and i had the conversation about having a child. it wasnt the first time, but my wife, 31 at the time, was persistent. reluctantly i caved, and later that year she was pregnant. i was so very nervous for so many reasons, but as the date grew closer i became more and more involved in the process, and as a result my level of excitement rose. and when the day finally came, i absolultey fell in love with my baby girl, and have never been happier

its been a lot of work, but worth it. there is this love that is unexplanable when you own child is born. ppl are reluctant because a baby may ruin their plans or lifestyle, or it may be too much work or "annoying". but the truth is, you never have a more proud moment in your life than when your own, your very own child gives your a hug and smiles from ear to ear. we hope to try for another in the nnext couple of years

best of luck in your relationship, and make sure you wait :) im sure he'll come around

Answer 11

We were like that, had our dogs instead of kids and never talked about having any. Neither of us had ever had any contact with babies and knew nothing about them. We fell pregnant accidental at 23 and once he was here I changed completely and wished that I had started earlier. Had the second 18 months after the first and now we r a very happy little family :o)

Hope this helps- Babies r LOTS of fun!

Answer 12

I have always gone back and forth with the wanting kids thing.  When i met my husband, I was in the yes, let's have kids stage.  Then things got really comfortable with just the two of us and our dog.  From there, I went into, no I dont want kids.  We made the big move to Dallas from Pittsburgh and 6 weeks after we got here, found out we were expecting.  That Nov, we welcomed our precious little girl who from the moment we saw her, stole our hearts and filled a empty hole neither one (my husband and I) of us knew was there.  I cant imagine our lives without her now, the best thing to ever happen to us.  If you are meant to have kids then you will and they will be the best thing to ever happen to you. Trust me.

Answer 13

Well me and my husband were high school sweet hearts actually! I met him when I was 16 and he was 17.  I was like the preppy ditsy type of girl who was super into herself and never wanted to grow up, while my boyfriend he was the line backer for our football team and never planned on even getting married! When I was 19 I found out I had PCOS and it didn't really bother me because kids weren't really what I had in mind for the future. After college we got back together and every so often we would talk about one day having kids and getting married. Everytime it went into my mind I was like no way I don't want a baby it will hold me back. I mean we wanted to go to Greece, Spain, Hawaii and France. I mean we were still very young... As for my husband he was like I think were gonna be the couple with like 2 dogs as our babies, just because we were that sure we didn't want kids. Months later we were married had a house and were super happy. Every so often I was like man I kind of want a baby just to have as my own and my husband did too. So he was like I guess we can try for 1 baby and be happy with that, knowing that I had PCOS we went to a fertility doctor and went through 3 rounds of invitro I was soon pregnant with twins girls! Def. not what we had in mind, but as soon as I had them in my arms I couldn't believe how blind I was to think that I didn't want kids. They are now 3 years old and we couldn't be happier! I soon got back into the same feeling of wanting just 1 more hoping for a boy we went through some more rounds of invitro and ended up with 6! I am pregnant with them as I type and I wouldn't want it any other way. There are times when me and my husband sit and were like what if we never had kids...all I know is that I would be bored out of my mind and most likely felt empty.

I'm not going to say that all stories are like 'omg' I can't believe I ddin't want a baby. But they are really a blessing and I hope you and you boyfriend are happy in the end in whatever decision you make!

Answer 14

I have always wanted kids. Now that I have them, it has been a never ending roller coaster ride. Ups and downs, good, bad, and the ugly. Nothing makes you feel more helpless than when they get sick. They test you everyday, they will stress you out. They will love you more than any man ever could. It's ok to not want children at all or to wait. I had my 1st of 2 at age 28. Do your traveling and have fun now. Save money and don't be foolish. Becoming a parent can happen unexpectedly, and once they are here, your money dwindles down to nothing. Then your relationship suffers especially without communication. See how you feel about financially preparing for a year or two before you try to have one, if that's what you decide. Then if it happens, you have something to cushion the blow. Raising kids isn't easy or cheap. Some people can't handle kids at any age. Some prefer the newborns to preschoolers and teenagers . But eventually they all grow up and whether you can deal with them or not depends on what is going on around you. If your stress level is high and your relationship is unstable, you will have little patience for children. They are the biggest responsibility there is. Not all people should have kids, and we see that everytime another parent gets caught killing or abusing their child.. If one or both of you aren't ready it will be an uphill battle, that in my experience will tear you both apart and the child pays the ultimate price.

Answer 15

not me..but my aunt and i are only a couple years apart and very close she never wanted kids she just thought they were not for her..she felt that way her whole life while i was planning a family she was planning to work or go to clubs..then she got pregnant her daughter is now 2 and she is 7 months pregnant..she always tells me that she never thought she would like having kids and actually got scared when she got pregnant but she loved being a mom so much that now she is having another.i am not saying it always works out that way it does not..but you might change your minds later..kids bring out the best of everything i could never imagine life with out mine

good luck hope this helped a little