Question for stepmoms and stepdads. Be honest, please!?

Question

Do you get jealous when your spouse pays more attention and spends more time with their child from previous marriage? Do you feel like you are the last on the list? Do you feel your spouse neglects you? Do you feel like your marriage comes second after their child? I am not a stepmom or a stepdad but my sister will be a stepmom soon and I am just curious.

Answer 1

I have a step son who is eight years old, and when he's around I have no problem. I like it when my husband gives him extra attention because the child needs it. He doesn't live with us so when we get him it's cool. He needs his daddys love and attention. I always tell my husband to take him and do special guy stuff with him, because after all that is his son. We also enjoy doing things together as a family..  

Answer 2

i don't think of my stepdaughter as anything less than MY DAUGHTER.we have been together since she was 3 years old (now 19 ).since day 1 she has called me HER STEVE,not dad,or father.i am more than O.K. with that.i must admit that her mother & her share a friendship that i envy in some ways.but i also have a special connection that her mother and her do not share,she is more open talking to me about her boyfriends than with her mother.i think that she is surprised with some of my past life relationships that i may tell her about as examples to answer her questions.we have a very open relationship,tells me things that maybe her paternal father would be overly fatherly to deal with.i love her as if she is my own,which she is.there is only 1 thing that bothered me,that was that sometimes her mother would overstep my authority when i was dealing with a behavior situation,which sends the wrong message about authority.but momma bears will be momma bears.

Answer 3

well i am a step-mom and no i do not get jealous when my step-daughter gets special attention from her daddy when she is with us because my husband and i have children together and they get more time with their daddy than she does so she deserves that time.  i love my step-daughter like she was my own child and that is how i think of her (as my daughter)

Answer 4

It is normal to have the feelings but not to act on them. Second marriages should come second after the children. Sadly, it doesn't always work that way.

Answer 5

If your sister is anything like what you asked then she is so not ready to get married.

You have to be a strong loving adult to marry with kids.

Answer 6

My fiance and I both have grown children from previous marriages.  Our kids come first and no one is jealous.  We are lucky because my kids like him and his like me.  The kids are our wedding party and we love it.  I wish everyone could experience a new relationship with this kind of success that we enjoy.  We were very upfront with one another when we first met about expectations and needs.  Having good communication is key.

Answer 7

People marrying someone with a child need to surrender the princess position, or any childish notion that there are lists and places on it. Children come first! Adults understand that. Whiny children in adult bodies don't, and therefore aren't ready to marry.