Question for the anti-adoption activists?

Question

How many resources, either financial or time-wise do you give to charitable organisations, or independent work in assisting families to stay together?

Presumably you're all donating on a regular basis to international aid funds, in order to allow mothers to keep parenting their children instead of losing them to adoption?

I also assume that you are all opening your homes to women who are pregnant and considering adoption, in order to provide her with the assistance she needs to parent her child?

And, obviously, you are all foster parents, correct? Helping to foster that unbreakable bond between mother and child, and helping children who have been raped, beaten, burned and broken to view their biological heritage in a positive light?

I assume all this from the advice that you routinely hand out to prospective and existing adoptive parents. After all, practice what you preach, correct?

Answer 1

I am not anti-adoption by any means I think that is clear by my previous posts. I do however want to chime in that I AM actually working in Romania taking care of sick and abandoned children. I also drive out to the villages to help out there when I can by taking donations, driving out medical teams, and in general physically supporting poverty stricken mothers enabling them to care for and KEEP their children at one time the org I am with had a school opened up for families and children offering basic education and life skills. I spend my days doing what I can to keep families together. I also am a realist and know that money and services is not always enough to do that.  So for those who do not practice what I preach that's OK... I do enough to keep families together for the both of us. and when we can't I also know that adoption is better than the orphanage in which I also work at.. so feel free to be rude and thumbs down me all you want. It's easy to join up and website and preach and maybe send 20$ once a year or sign a petition.  Try my life for one day.

Answer 2

If you would read Nancy Verrier, you would know that children who have "been raped, beaten, burned and broken" do not need help viewing their parents in a positive light, even after great abuse a child still longs for his/her parent. It's is far more complex than how you attempt to simplify. When abuse happens, the child will look for ways to put the blame for the abuse upon himself - so strong is the bond toward one's parent.  Even in the case of adoptive parents who abuse children, the child will often do his/her best to conform to the twisted demands of the abusive parent.

I will not list all of the ways I am active in supporting familes and opposing adoption, because I find the tone of your question unsavory. It reminds me of a barren woman who will degrade and demean perfect strangers who she deems undeserving to be pregnant or a mother. Not of course to imply you are one of those women, merely that's what your question reminded me of....you know the type of person I mean; someone so selfish and self-centered she attacks those who have what she lacks?

Answer 3

I'm sure there are causes that you believe in that you contribute to but cannot do everything that must be done to fix the situation.  Apparently you believe in adoption as the solution to the problems you mentioned.  Why aren't you adopting every child in need if that's what you think the solution is?  Why do you expect adoption activists to be able to single handedly do everything that must be done to change the adoption system in order to be practice what they preach?  As an adoptive parent, I am put off by your defensive question and tone.

Answer 4

Yes quite alot of time and money actually.  And you?

Answer 5

Weeme,

I had never heard of "anti-adoption activists" in my life, until I joined this site. I take it they've taken over the adoption posts and are the stalkers who give anyone who is adopted or has adopted or is going to adopt, grief & lots of thumbs down while they give their pals thumbs up. That would explain the 16+ thumbs down I got for replying to a woman who asked about the process. How childish & strange! How could anyone be against adoption? What planet did they come from? Are they jealous of Angelina Jolie, Michelle Pheiffer, etc. or what? Oh wait, I know. They are the unmarried, teenaged, junior high school drop outs & trailer trash who are on welfare & popping babies out left and right and expect taxpayers to support them.

Until you anti-adoption fanatics actually go to a foreign country & look into the eyes of these starving & neglected children in orphanages, etc., & really do something to help, you have no right to take over and terrorize the rest of us who  have done the right, moral, & ethical thing. Instead of your whining, raving, preaching, grossly immature,  kindergarten, venomous, flaming around in here, I challenge every one of you to have the guts to do something good for a child in need. I don't believe any of you could possibly be parents, much less even adequate ones. You are a bunch of n***s, who should have been sterilized at birth. What you are saying is that thousands of us who have adopted should have left our children to starve & die in orphanages or worse, and that we should be ashamed of ourselves for what we've done. You make me sick. You have some nerve. What you are saying is grotesque & unthinkable. My child better never hear of this HATE you're vomiting out. If she does, I'll tell her the truth, as  always, that you guys are sociopaths & should be locked far away from normal, decent human beings.

I'm with Weeme: PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH.

ADOPTIVE MOTHER OF A FORMER RUSSIAN NOW AMERICAN DAUGHTER & DAMNED PROUD OF HER & WHAT I DID!

Answer 6

Yep I'm anti-adoption.

Yep I'm pro-abortion.

I support "free" (tax dollars) abortions to all women who want them.

I also support "free" (tax dollars) sterilizations for all people.

Those are some of my causes.

You really shouldn't paint all anti-adopts with the same brush. Abortion is a valid and often merciful choice.

Not mention you are labeling people anti-adopt when they aren't.

Pay attention next time. sheesh.

Answer 7

SO TRUE. They're all hypocrites.

Answer 8

GREAT POST!! How did I miss this. You need to repost this again because I know of a few people who would like to chime in and respond and I for one would like to see what the other side has to say.

Answer 9

LOLOLOLOL....yeah right!!!  Again, I have wondered and asked the same thing.  You sure are brave though to be asking questions like these on here.  Soon you will get bored with the same answers and bashing that you get from some on here.  Good luck...........

Answer 10

How does 70 hours a week sound to you, Weeme?  Is that enough in your book?  I don't get paid one red cent for all I do, or all I have done over the past 10 years, but I keep doing it.  I am also a member of IRC and APPPAH (figure those out yourself).  And I donate clothing and household items at least twice a year to organizations that are family preservation friendly.

IF I had been an abused prenate (which I wasn't), and needed to be separated from my mother (which I didn't), don't you think I should have at least gone to an emotionally healthy adoptive home (which I didn't)?  One of the many things I fight for is psychological testing of wackos who want to adopt.

Answer 11

I created a website called Informed Adoption Advocates to help adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents learn about the many issues involved in international adoption (and no, I am not completely anti adoption, I have two children adopted from China. I am in the 'adoption if there is no other option' camp). I am also currently waiting on word about a new program being set up in Africa to help children remain with their current families instead of being sent to orphanages. The org will be offering skill training and education to families so that they can earn money to keep their children not only to parents but also family members who might be able to take them if they had a skill. My friend is in Ethiopia right now helping them and she's going to let me know about it when she gets back so I can perhaps help out. I also sponsor a child in Rwanda to stay with her family, and I did sponsor a child in Haiti who was later adopted anyways. I asked an orphanage in Haiti if I could sponsor another orphan for her family to keep her (sometimes $30 a month is all the family needs) but they ignored me. I guess they would rather have the $7500 they get for adopting them out than to help a child stay with their family. I hope though that if this new organization is a good one, I can join them and perhaps someday they will have programs in Haiti, Guatemala, Eastern Europe, wherever there are families and children in need, regardless of whether or not that country does IA. I have also donated to adoptee rights causes, if that means anything to you.

Answer 12

This is a really good question.  We contribute a great deal to charities that support young mothers.  In fact, we are currently in the process of donating baby items to our local Planned Parenthood for their "Baby Shower" event for young mothers.

We are also in the process of taking classes in order to be foster parents eventually.  

And yes, my adoptive parents taught me from an extremely young age to practice what I preach and to always try to give back to my community.  I have been working as a volunteer in various capacities related to children and families since I was fifteen.

Edited to say that I forgot to add that we also gave money this year to an organization that works to make water quality  and living conditions better for children living in orphanages in third world countries.

And yes.  I am very pro-choice, in case you were wondering and Planned Parenthood is about so much more than abortions.  It is about supporting women no matter what choice they make in regard to their fertility. And they do really good work.

Answer 13

Awesome!!!!

Answer 14

Why do you ask, Weeny?  As adoptees do you feel we OWE a debt?

But yes, I support Origins-USA.org.  Thanks for giving me a chance to get their name out there!

You know what's strange about the US (I'm assuming that's where you live) is that when it comes to women who are pregnant, there's a perception (that's wrong) that we live in a nation of povery and scarcity.  There are people who flood our borders to deliver their babies free of charge and get benefits to boot.  So why is it that illegal immigrants know they can benefit from Johnson's Great Society, but American unwed mother's are led to believe that raising their own children is impossible?  

Adult adoptees do not OWE anyone anything.  We all do what we can.  Do I practice what I preach?  You bet.  I stay at home raising the three children my huband and I made.  I'm here repairing the damage that adoption has caused in my life.

And, don't forget, we're not usually the ones begging and whining that we don't have kids--the APs and PAPs are.  We're giving Y!A questioners alternatives to the adoption machine that did so much damage in our own lives.

You'd better get some ear plugs, hon, cause we're not quieting down anytime soon.

Added:  Geez, Weeme, I've never heard of you, but you are obviously well aquainted with me...hmmm. You have 59 answers, so you're new, right?  Or are you one of those APs who has more than one screen name?!  Gotcha!

I'm sorry I seem to anger you so much, I must be hittin' that nerve!  Cheers!

Answer 15

I am not an anti-adoption activist, however, because I do support family preservation, I support a home for young parents and their children.  My family contributes financially through monthly donations and helps to plan and run fund raisers.  The parents receive housing, day care, job training, GED classes, help with college classes, and job training.  The children receive health care, clothing, diapers, formula, ...

I chose to support this particular organization because many of the young parents are themselves victims of neglect and abuse.  Yes, the cycle can be broken!!  The young people who have been helped by this program have proven it over and over again.