Question for the guys who go to Martial arts gyms!?

Question

I was wondering , who do your friends consist of? Do you guys hang out with any people from the your gym at like bars or clubs? I am asking because its weird I have plenty of friends from my gym and we call each other to train , but we never kick it at clubs or drink, also I find my regular guy friends get kinda peeved when I talk about my MMA gym , or how I tell people I am a cage fighter when they ask me, so I think I should start hanging out with some gym friends, but they don't drink or party , and I dont really want to get them into all that.

Answer 1

Old saying "men fight because women are present" talking about your cage fighting and mma or any martial art around non participants is a mild form of threat display whether you realize it or not.It makes other males uncomfortable on a level they themselves can't explain .

It's like the ding dongs who go into bars wearing ufc and mma gear or muay thai shorts and never been in a ring or trained.

Tell them you are in 2nd year med. you will have girls hanging off you and the "tough" guys can go play with themselves.

Answer 2

Perhaps you need to star to realize that there are many different worlds. You are trying to live in two incompatible ones. Partying and drinking are life styles incompatible with becoming a great or even a good martial artist. Where do your gym buddies hang out? What are their after workout recreation alternatives? These are the questions to ask. Try hanging out with people who have your best interest at the heart of their thoughts rather than the good time Charlies' at the bars and clubs.

I'm no prude, I like to have a drink with friends now and than. There are many things other than that to do and find joy in.  

Answer 3

I thought only Napolean Dynamite would go around telling people he was a cage fighter. Do you talk about your other "skillz"? You know, like numb chucks, or drawing pictures of Ligers?  

Answer 4

Sifu Frank and bunminjutsu have made valid points.  When people socialise, they tend not to want to 'talk shop' when they're relaxing.

Martial artists learn humility and keep it 'in the dojo'.

Similarly, a lot of my fellow martial arts mates have family lives or are simply not into 'partying' and drinking etc.  

Answer 5

I like what both Sifu Frank and Bunmin had to say, though I don't necessarily agree with everything. Being "healthy" isn't about not partying and not drinking, but doing everything in your life in moderation. And it's natural to want to talk about the things that interest you, but there are of course times that discretion is necessary.

I hang out with the guys from the dojo pretty regularly... We go out to eat, go to movies, go shooting, whatever. And everything we choose to do has a price. It can be hard to balance the two worlds: those you train with and those you don't. When you turn too far to one side or the other, you expose your back to one side, and there may just be someone there to slip the knife in.

Announcing your training means that someone in earshot (or beershot - the distance between you and the next guy who buys her a drink) may be willing to see just how good you are, and there's an even chance that he's just that much better at that moment. Further, realizing this, you may be inviting trouble for your friends, which isn't fair of you either.

Find balance in all things. Remember that there's a price to be paid for every choice you make. It's a matter of what can you really afford?

Answer 6

Think of it like this - what do you know about the lives of the guys in your gym?  Do you know if they even go out drinking and partying?  I'd be willing to bet that many of them don't.  

If you want to get to know them better have a get-together at your house - host a pay-per-view party of an MMA event.  Invite the guys from the gym and see who shows up.  Maybe you'll make a friend or 2 that you have more in common with than just fighting.  Maybe not.

Answer 7

Our friends are everyone. I've hung out with people from my dojo before. But Usually our friends are the people in our neighborhood, and schools. I rarely hang out with coworkers.

What you stated is very common, almost all of us seem to find that martial artists train to train. Social life is completely different to us. Yes, we see the others in our gyms as associates, and we are fine with doing something when invited, that is courtesy. But "Friendship", and kicking it. Man, in the streets I am from not only is martial arts defense, and tradition. It's also a way to forget how screwed things are on the streets. When you are kicking your friends dont want to talk about school, your other friends, they aren't interested in you. Kicking it is just passing the days away running from the reality. That is why your friends get peeved when you talk about martial arts. While in your gym, the others are trying to stay focused and leave the streets, or for some of us follow family traditions.

You say you are a martial artist. Do you learn what is being taught. I ask as a fellow martial artist. Cause you sound like you forget the basics. It's not just about fighting, it is actually almost a religion. Mind, body, and spirit. Most martial artist I train with don't smoke, I do. But i don't drink, most of us don't. Most gyms try to teach humility. That is the basics of most forms. Bragging is negative chi, and some gyms would make you retrain at a lower level to remind you that. It makes us wonder did you get into martial arts because you thought it would make you popular. Cause it won't...And if you go to the gym just to learn to fight, then you can't call yourself a martial artist. You would be defined as just a fighter... That in itself would be something that would make you more serious associates at the gym not hangout with out. Some of us have been training for all of lives, and take our forms and traditions very seriously. They are not things to joke, nor brag about. It's just a part of ourself. Most of the great don't even used the term for themselfs. They'd say they are an actor, and businessman, or whatever they do for work. They'd say martial arts is something they practice. Most of us don't even mention our levels or style outside of the gym. Even at work I don't mention all the styles I have dens in. I just say I practice, but i don't say what belt, especially don't mention the styles, or forms. Unless to those in your gym. Humility is key in your situation though.

Answer 8

I don't do bars and clubs. I'm more of a "coffeehouse person."

Most people also have social contacts outside of the gym/dojo.

Answer 9

well possibly being healthy people your gym friends arent into bars etc. also possibly they want to keep gym and non-gym separate.

Answer 10

i know what ya mean, i have gym friends , and regular friends who think the idea of any physical activity is insane. i sometimes get excited of an up and comin fight, and want to talk about it loads. luckily they just tolerate me, but im the same with their football which i cant stand. my mma mates come over for bbqs and training etc, but dont really drink, i like to burn the candle at both ends party hard train harder. just life i suppose!

good luck!

Answer 11

My school has pizza night once a week.  We make announcements at the end of workout and meet about an hour later (so people can clean up) at our favorite pizza place.  It's a great way to get to know the people you work out with and share stories and experience. It's especially nice since underage people can come (sometimes people even bring their significant other and/or kids) but we can order a couple pitchers of beer or go to a nearby bar afterward.

Answer 12

I personally don't talk about my martial arts outside of my dojo friends, tried socialising with them but that did not work either - also agree with what Frank said