Question - got 3 stars for interesting yesterday but only one answer, so re-posting it today?

Question

You know you can use blackmail to make someone feel guilty like, "If you don't to this for me I will be disappointed in you." for example. Or, "I will be lonely if you don't visit me enough" etc.

What is the healthy way to do this so the person doesn't get manipulated. Like if you genuinely need someone to be a certain way, otherwise it hurts you.

Can you get the message across, giving them a guilt-free choice that doesn't trap them? Please tell me the formula. Thanks for any help :))

Answer 1

There is no healthy way to manipulate people.

It is immature.

Answer 2

The way to do it to make the option seem very very important to you, like there is not another way at all that things could go.  Do not make the other person eel guilty as that introduces negative feelings twards themselves, its best to make the person feel that they have helped you. That way you get your own way and the other person feels good abut themselves feeling that they have been helpful.

Answer 3

But you are manipulating them whichever way you do it and it will not be appreciated,you lose friends this way.Remember they have lives, troubles and commitments as well.

Answer 4

If you have to invent GAMES in order to "force" someone to treat you right, then it is not a relationship you need to be in.  

See - we all have "free will" or "free choice" - they are free to do as they wish, and you are free to walk away from them.  

There is NO healthy way to play games where manipulating and hurting are involved.  The HEALTHY thing to do is to get OUT and away from bad situations.  

Answer 5

Blackmailing and manipulating people into doing what you want are both wrong and selfish.

Why not tell them you'd prefer if they wouldn't: A, B, or C or that when they, A, B, C, it upsets you.

The thing is though, people don't change.

The sooner you learn that, the happier life will be for you.

Answer 6

I would suggest plain old communication. If someone is hurting you tell them. Your not going to get anywhere playing games.