Question on adoption?

Question

I am looking for journal articles on telling children about adoption, including when/how parents must do so. Do you have any references? Thank you.

Answer 1

My mom told me after my bath when I was 6. I remember if very vividly. I remember understanding how she told me... that she had some thing she needed to talk with me about and how they love me very much, and the story behind how they got me and stuff. I also remember thinking 'I have another mother?' And said 'I want my real mommy' which hurt her feelings, but I understood what she was saying, I was confused with if she stole me or really got me legally. After I calmed down, she told me Im legal.

It depends on the childs maturity but I would tell them as soon as you think they are old enough to understand and process the information appropriately. I think 6 was a good age for me. It made me love them more in the long run because I felt like they didnt hide the fact that I was adopted and it made me feel special because I was chosen by them to be their child.

Yes, I did wonder what my birth family was like but now I could care less. My parents are the ones that raised me, not gave birth to me. And Ive never even looked for my birth family.

It will get tricky waiting until later... you'll have explaining to do and the child may have resentment for your not telling them sooner if you wait until they are an adult or high schooler.

If you have documents, like my parents did, you can tell your child you'll let them see them once they are old enough and you think they are able to understand it all. My parents waited until I was 23 to give me mine. It had a lot of background information about why I was adopted etc.

I was adopted as an infant, 7 mos. old.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I was adopted from being 8 weeks old.I cant even remember not knowing , my mam and dad always thought i was important for me to know.My mam always told me that I was a special girl because they had chosen me and that my birth mother wanted me to have a better life with a loving family.I was never lied to and I think that's very important.You dont need to go into great detail but you can tell them other things when they are old enough to understand eg.circumstances etc

Answer 3

I was adopted.. But my adoption was very open because my biological mom's sister (my aunt) adopted me.  I was able to see my biological mom if I wanted to but I never chose to because she was a drug addict and I didint like being around that enviornment

Answer 4

I was adopted by my foster parents at the age of 3. I was placed in their home at 18 months. I have always known, as long as I can remember, that I was adopted. It wasn't strange or different to me as a kid. It was just another "normal" way to be a part of a family.

I firmly believe that a child should be told as early as possible. Even before they fully understand what the word "adoption" means, because by doing so, it's no secret & no big deal.

The issues of being adopted began cropping up around my teen years. Like every other adolescent, I began wondering about my identity and adoption adds to that questioning.

I didn't wonder about my 1st mom or think about wanting to meet her until I was in my teens & early 20's.  

Here are links to articles about telling children they're adopted:

http://library.adoption.com/talking-to-k...

http://library.adoption.com/information/...

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

http://www.americanadoptions.com/adopt/b...

http://empoweringall.wordpress.com/2008/...

http://www.exploringadoptionblog.com/ado...

Books for kids:

"Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born", Jamie Lee Curtis.  See this book & others about adoption at the following link:

http://www.amazon.com/Tell-Again-About-N...

Other Titles:

  *Over The Moon

  *The Day We Met You

  *I Don't Have Your Eyes