Question on loving an exhusband still possibility.....or do I?

Question

Is it possible to still love, be in love with have any romantic feelings for an exhusband of 13 years? Saw him for the first time in probably 8 years tonight in meijer store, -in town for a funeral.....didn't want to contact me or his son because he "looked fat" as he said...but did try to come by earlier today and I was out with my son.....did some shopping after school, and ran right into him!!!!!....he did ask if we wanted to go out to eat with the whole family tonight nd wanted us to come. My son had a great time with him, and I was truly glad he got the time with him. It's been a long time since they had talked on the phone, and longer since seeing each other...he did move out of state 9 years ago. I can't stop thinking about how bad he looked...had gained alot of weight....looked bad...I'm concerned for his health.....his wife of 5 years was with him, and so I was nothing but respectful of his being married again......and was very warm to her so she wasn't uncomfortable around me. she was very nice as well. I don't know if i'm just reminded of what could have maybe been had things not taken the road they took leading to our separation when I became pregnant, and eventually to divorce when our son was 2. He looked terrible today, but I felt like all the hurt and anger was long gone, and i just felt sad -but NEVER showed it- that he is married again. I think abot him every once in awhile and always wondered if he grew up any by 34 years old, and i even told my son a year ago that if he wasn't married again, and I could be sure he would never be unfaithful again, i would get back together with him for our son's benefit mainly....but also because I do have some happy memories from our very rocky but long relationship...we were both YOUNG and stupid, immature, and hot tempered.....but there's things i miss about my exhusband......not even in the s*x area but the personality area....we really were two of a kind, but fought like cats and dogs. Is the best thing to do with all my sad thoughts, what-ifs, and if-onlys is to not even go there emotionally? I've looked at pictures since, my on and I returned home. and replayed bits of our conversation tonight at dinner at the restaurant over and over to try and discover if he may have been thinking any things along the same lines I was since we left the store after running into each other there...through dinner....though I had conversations with everyone there, and I need someone else's opinion!!!!!!

Answer 1

dear if he is married now you shoudnt get involve in a relation ship think in more wonderful activities and forget your husband its not a good idea for now

Answer 2

I think maybe because you saw him differently that it is making you think this way. He was being nice and friendly and it was different for you. Besides the fact that his wife was there. That is good that you and wife are civil and get along. like you mentioned for that moment you remembered the good times. Also remember wy you divorced him as well. So be glad that he is your ex husband also be glad that you can get along.

Answer 3

He is married and for 5 years leave it be they say when people are happy the get fat because they are comfortable at least that's what they say. You need to find someone new and move on with your life.

Answer 4

There are alot of what if's in what you are saying.  You divorced because you couldnt agree in many things I take it.  Trust after being unfaithful is a very difficult thing to over come.  It can be done, but with patiences and thats on both parties.  Both of you probably did stupid things, but is this something you may just be clinging onto in hopes of finding someone to fill that old connection? I think that what our past relationships end up being are a comfort zone?  We miss what is most comfortable.  Get out there and date, see if there someone out there that suits you better that you dont fight like cats and dogs.  Never a good reason to get back with someone just for a son or daughter.   Good luck in what ever you decide to do.   Fond memories last a lifetime, maybe they should be left in the past and create new wonderful ones?