Question on seeking biological family members.?

Question

Within the past 2 years I have been having growing problems with my heart and recently I have been informed that the problem could be genetic. Being adopted, I have no idea what my family's medical history is. I called a friend of mine who is an adoption lawyer and he said that I could go to the courthouse and send two requests (one to each parent) asking for family medical history without informing them of any personal information about me (i.e. name, address, etc.) The problem I'm having is that there is a box that you can check if you would like to have them send personal information about themselves, usually reserved for people who want to meet their parents. I was adopted into the best family in the world and they said that they would not resent me at all if I wanted to meet my biological family, but at the same time I don't want to disrupt my biological family's lives. The biological parents can choose not to send anything if they don't want to. Advice?

Answer 1

i was also adopted and worry something like this is going to happen to me. Ive met my birth mother and she refuses to give the birthfathers info.  I have all of her info. Like I did find them and bother the h**l out of them for the rest of your life thats what I'm going to do and MY adopted parents and family are the best in the world just kidding good luck

Answer 2

I would imagine any parent would want to help his or her child whenever they can.  And if your inquiry is about health, I'm sure they would be more than willing to give you answers.

Answer 3

Just check both boxes they can certainly decline one or both. Grant it they’d have to be very cold to deny request for medical history.  As far as personnel stuff they could respond to that or not, you really have nothing to lose. If your crushed at least you have a strong family who will stand behind and support you.

Answer 4

your call your life...I'm still looking for mine so i know how you feel. Its totally my choice when the time comes but i would like to know as much as possible if and when they find my bio folks. It also depends on what type of adoption they had open or closed it makes all the difference.

Answer 5

I can't believe no one has answered this!  I would go for it though.  What do you have to lose right?  They don't have to respond but I betcha they would.  And at least you have great support from your family you were adopted into.  I don't think you'd be disrupting anyone's lives.  You have the right to know your medical history.  Especially if you are going to concieve or have a baby when you go in for your first OB exam they will ask you about diseases in your family history and about your background to be able to run certain blood tests.  I had to have 2 extra tests ran on my blood because my honey's great grandmother is from Canada.  These are things you need to know now a days to help with certain things and if its a medical problem I really hope they would understand.  I wish the best to you hun!!

Answer 6

I found both of my birth parents.  It gave me the closure I needed.  I also have a heart condition that runs in my sperm donor's side.  His mom and several brothers have passed away from it and he has a pacemaker.  My advice would be to send the requests and check the box so that they can send you information on themselves if they choose to.  Just be prepared for whatever happens.  I have four new half sisters.  Two of the sperm donor and two with my birthmother.  My birthmom is mom.  We clicked from the beginning.  All this c**p about environmental not heridity is just that, c**p.  I am so much like her it is not funny.  Send the requests with the box checked.  They will probably at least send you the health information.  If they don't send anything else, you have lost nothing.  If they do, you may end up like me with a whole new side of the family.  Of course, keep in mind that you will then have to explain why your brother is no kin to your sisters.  And why people that know you under your adoptive family are questioning why you are with your birth mom.  Yes, that really happened to me.  I have two sisters I have nothing to do with.  But I also have two other sisters that I would die for if need be.  And a bunch of new nieces and nephews.  Make up your mind that you will be happy no matter what happens.  If they don't answer you, you will know they do not want a relationship.  If they do you might end up with a new best friend.  Good luck to you in what ever you choose.

Answer 7

I say you should check the box.  Just make yourself ready if neither of them want to give you info.  Good luck!

Answer 8

Just be prepared for anything. It's good you have your familys support. Check the box, you never know. I found my birthdaughter in 2001, she was 29, I'm so glad I did. She has a mom and now she has me as a friend.

Answer 9

Put the request in.

Put yourself out there.

Be prepared for anything.

You'll never know - if you don't try.

There are many ups and downs to searching etc - but it's all worth it.

I also personally know many many first-mothers - who are hoping that one day their child will pop back into their lives.

They don't come looking for us - because they were usually told to just go home and get over it.

(no grieving allowed)

I wish you all the very best.

(I have my fingers crossed for you also)

xx