Question to Teachers about inapropriate aide!?

Question

I'm a Paraeducator in special education. This is my first year working in this skill level classroom. It's a CBC3 which is pretty low skilled kids.

One of the Paras in my class I've seen do some really inapropriate things that i'm not ok with. Not so much that I think the person is bad news, but I just think her actions could cause the child to not understand it's not ok later in life. The para is a very good aide, but I just think she uses bad judgment ALOT!

Here it goes,

numerious times she calls one partculiar child who is non verbal, and high matience "s**y", "s**y body" "hey s**y boy", and many other things. I've seen her give him kisses on the cheek, and around the neck area. But then when he tries to kiss her she tells him no kisses at school. So to me it's really confusing to the child. i do not think it's appropriate to be kissing your student whatever the reason! I've mentioned it to her a few times, and she just says oh I no i just love these kids so much.

Answer 1

Please report this immediately to the classroom teacher and the principal.  It seems that you are trying to give this para the benefit of the doubt but this is extremely inappropriate behavior.  She is displaying behaviors that are inappropriate for the role she is in.  She is in a role of power over this child and this is not OK.  For the students benefit please report this.

Answer 2

I wish there were more out there like you...

Right on... that is inappropriate..even more so for special education student to have said in their presence, as it is even harder to unteach the inappropriateness for them

(i say this by experience)

I am a parent of gen ed and spec ed children, not a bible thumper but a believer of god, my children range in ages from 3 to 13 and if any of their teachers/staff said or did any what you mentioned....heads would roll....I dont let my kids say s**y and if I catch them, well...no tv or something like that..LOL

I would put your concern in an email to the new teacher and cc to the principal so the new teacher will sense she will have some back up on the issue when she speaks with the para.  

This child obviously has an IEP and well, lets just not go there... if this were to come up in a case conference if another staff member were to mention this to a friend of a friend then it makes it to a parent....look out... save the school some greif in the long run....(especially since this para acknowleges she has been warned before and continues this behavior and doesnt recognize it isnt appropriate in the school setting )...

I can tell you are in the right job... Thank God my son's para wouldnt think of doing that, my foster son says enough "words" towards her on his own when frustrated...LOL...he doesnt need anymore added to his vocab!

Answer 3

Wow, that type of behavior with any student is just not okay.  I'm not sure how your "chain of command" runs in your district or school but make sure that you are following that when speaking to someone about this problem and yes it is a big problem.  I don't care who you are, speaking to students in that manner is never okay and she is setting a horrible example and something needs to be done so it can be stopped.  Especially if she has been spoken to about it before.  Best of luck.

Answer 4

Yes, this is extremely inappropriate!  Definitely tell the teacher.  If she does nothing, tell the principal.  If she does nothing, go to the director of special education.  This person has poor judgement and poor boundries at the very least.  In that case she needs to be educated.  This could also be considered sexual harrassment!  I hope she's never alone with a child, especially when changing diapers or toileting, in case sexual abuse is going on.   If you suspect sexual abuse or any kind of abuse you are legally required to report it to child protective services.  Talk to your school counselor if you are not sure what to do.  Remember that these kids can't advocate for themselves.  That's part of your job.  Thank you for being concerned and wanting to do the right thing.  You sound like a wonderful para!

Answer 5

Be sure to DOCUMENT what you're seeing and you report it.  For example:  How frequently is it happening? What days/times? Who else is witnessing it?

I can't fathom a legitimate reason to speak that way to a student.  I don't know how your school/district is structured, but my opinion is that you need to talk to an administrator about that.   His/her actions may be confidential, but you need to be assured that actions will be taken and that the child's parent/guardian is notified.

If you don't have faith in your administrator, it may be worth documenting your reporting of the incident, as well.

Answer 6

Not the principal.  He/she will not help.  Tell the child's parents.  AND--Tell the police.  Do it now. Pick up the phone and call.

Answer 7

Definitely inappropriate. I would talk to the classroom teacher. She needs to know this is going on. If she does not do anything, I would talk to the principal or maybe do an anonymous phone call or letter, although it would be obvious that it was someone with daily access to the classroom.

I had a similar situation with one of the paras in my classroom. We had a 9 year old boy with autism who functions around 4-5 years old. He is very echolalic and she taught him to say "I'm a stud muffin" and "I'm so s**y" She thought it was so funny. I talked to her and eventually the special ed coordinator talked to her and she realized the serious inappropriateness of her actions. Your situation is much more serious if she is kissing and touching the child. That is teaching him inappropriate touching with people who are supposed to be authority figures. You might suggest to the classroom teacher that she do a unit on "good touch bad touch" emphasizing hugs are ok from friends, kisses from mom, dad, etc but kisses from other adults are not ok- especially on the neck. As he gets older and hits puberty, this could possibly cause sexual feelings towards the para which is definitely not ok, even if this is not her intention. It's great that you are so concerned. Definitely make sure that this is taken care of. I wish I had more paras who were so concerned about what is best for the students

Answer 8

personally, I would report it anonymously. There might be something underlying that you don't know about. And this day in age, it wouldn't surprise me.

Answer 9

well i have a special needs child that just graduateed last year and i would think that if the child himself goes home and starts doing the same the parents are gonna question it  and in that comment i mean that if the child is going home and kissing others (not family members) because they think it is appropriate to do you dont want that parent to question it do you ? i would tell the principal . just my opinion

Answer 10

that's terribly inappropriate i would report her immediately