Questioning adoption?

Question

I have been an only child for my entire life, the only thing that I have really ever wanted was to have younger siblings. My question is if I should confront my parents about adopting a child. I am 16 so preferably I would choose to adopt an older child between the ages of 6 and 13. I don't know how to confront my parents or even if I should. Any advice?

Answer 1

i don't think i would confront them---they probly made a choice to have one child for whatever reason----you can always adopt a kid to be ur sister or brother---thats what i do everywhere i go---i adopt a family---i have an uncle,aunt,and dad in iowa---they were really good to me when i lived there---take in a kid under ur wing that could use friendship and love---find one that doesn't seem to make friends easily or is picked on for being too fat or something---they could use someone like u in their life---u just don't know what good u may do for someone---if u decide to find a child to adopt for urself like that i would like to know about it---would like to know why u picked that particular child and how things turn out---u can email me on here and i can give u my regular email addy---i am an only child too but never wanted siblings---good luck to u hon

Answer 2

I'm sorry you feel lonely and would like a sibling. My son feels the same way, he's 7. When we go to see some of his teenage relatives (2 boys in particular), they always pick on him and I tell him that's what having siblings is all about. I always wished that I could have a sister, but I never did.

We can't change the families or parents we have, but I found that I could create my own. When I realized that, life got better. One day you can have all the children you desire.

It never hurts to ask your parents if they would be interested in being foster parents. They may have thought of it, but never acted upon it... ultimently it's their lives and if they don't want anymore children, there's nothing you can do about it.

Perhaps you could try to build a close relationship with one of your cousins. Best wishes in finding that special relationship you desire so much.

Answer 3

why confront them? when you are old enough and have good job if you want ot adopt then go for it it willhelp someone live a good life. but make sure you are in good shape before bringing someone into your life that you can sustain and then is when youc an talk to them about adopting. its your business and when youa re gone from their house its you who are responsible take care.

Answer 4

Here's a better idea...why not sign up for a big brothers/big sisters program and mentor a younger child in your community?  Think of what a great influence you could be on a younger child who might need an older kid to look up to and be a good influence in his/her life.  

Are there programs like that where you live?  Perhaps through your school?  If not, why not suggest it to a school counselor, get involved in getting something like that set up?  I bet you'd be great at it, and the benefits for both you and the younger counterpart would last you a lifetime.

Answer 5

I'm sorry that you feel you're missing out, but I can't imagine agreeing to adopt a child simply because my child asks.

It's also true that adopting older children comes with a lot of emotional baggage.  Most kids 6 to 13 won't be like Little Orphan Annie, all smiles and song.

Talk to your parents if you like, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Answer 6

hmmm....not exactly your decision to make there. You can express your desire for a sibling but not much more than that.

Answer 7

I don't think there's anything wrong with talking to your parents about your dream but, I think you probably need to regard it as jsut that. Chances are high that your parents are not interested in adopting a child because if they were, they would be taking the initiative. Adopting a child is not something that parents do because their teenager wants a sibling. I can imagine that having a sibling would make a huge difference in your life but, it seems to me that you are better off counting your blessings and enjoying your family the way it is. Have you considered the idea of talking to your parents about hosting a foreign exchange student -- or something along those lines? You might find companionship and even a life long relationship that way but, expecting  your parents to adopot a child because you want a sibling seems like an unlikely expectation to me. I think it is perfectly fine to express your wish to your parents -- and perhaps they can discuss with you why they chose to have you as an only child.

Answer 8

Just present the idea.  Tell them how much you wish for a sibling.  Tell them what you would be willing to do -- share a room, babysit, teach, etc.  Don't push the idea, just ask them to please consider it.  Go to the state website for your state.  For example, if you live in Illinois, type in Illinois state adoptions.  You can read about the children and their specific needs.  Good luck to you!

Answer 9

It never hurts to speak to your parents about how you are feeling. That's what they are there for, after all. But be prepared to accept whatever they say. It is their choice to make, not yours. They are the ones who will have to accept the responsibility for another child. But you should still speak with them because maybe they will be able to explain to you why they haven't adopted another child. Or maybe they will listen to you and you'll get what you want. But either way, you'll have to talk to them if you have any chance.

Answer 10

I have been practically the one child most of my life. My brothers are 9 and 12 years older than me. By the time I really understood that I had siblings, they were in boarding school!

Anyway, I understand your need for a sibling. I wanted this also, and asked my mother to adopt. Surprisingly, she was open to the idea. However, we never did get another child in house, for the adoption agency wanted us to get a child with severe problems. My mother could not handle such, being that she was a single mother with a full-time job, and supporting private schooling for her 3 children.

In saying all of this, you may be surprised to find out that your parents are open to the idea. Just bring up the subject when all of you are together, at dinner, etc. Tell them that you have thought about why you are the only child, and if they have ever considered adoption. Tell them that you would like to explore this, if possible. In addition, be prepared for not getting the type of sibling that you would like.

Good luck.

Answer 11

Bad idea. Just because you want a sibling doesn't mean your parents want to raise another child for onther 5 or so years AFTER you leave the house and it is really not fair to ask them to.

But if you want to feel like an older sister, there are numerous ways for you to do that. Volunteer as a tutor or at an afterschool program. Spend time with younger cousins or neighbors. Babysit. Join Big Brothers-Big Sisters. Find a way to create the relationship you want without asking your parents for a much larger commitment.