Questions about praying and what breaks my fast?

Question

I'm not Muslim, but my bf is, although he's far from devout. However, we'd like to get married and have children (inshallah) and I'm trying to learn what I can beforehand so we can pray and fast, etc., as a family, although I plan on staying Christian. Complicated maybe, but we're a good match and we think we can make it happen. Here are my questions:

I got upset with a stranger this morning and said (to my bf) that she was stupid. He told me bad comments about people void my fast (even deserved ones). Now I realize that I shouldn't lose my temper or swear, etc., but...

1. does it actually void my fast or is it just bad?

I've been told that there can be no s*x during fast times, but...

2. does that extend to kissing also?

We've been together about a year and a half, so I'm used to pinches, etc., at random times...

3. Can his actions (pinching/grabbing me) break my fast?

Since it's especially necessary to pray during this time, I am trying to get him to teach me, but I don't speak Arabic (trying to learn…). So I repeated after him, but it took FOREVER to do it, since I have a hard time with pronunciation and because he has to explain in English what he just said in Arabic. He doesn't want me to continue the prayers (this Ramadan).

I have a couple of questions:

4. Is it so bad if I make a mistake?

5. I mean, doesn't God know what I mean, and take it into account that I'm doing my best?

6. Also, is there a short version that would be acceptable for beginners to say? He said there isn't a child's version or anything like Christians have since it's basically verses from the Quran.

Finally, he said it's better if I just read the Quran instead, however, I of course have to read it in English and...

7. isn't the Quran in any language other than Arabic supposed to be wrong or something?

8. Why on earth do I have to completely cover myself in a sheet or something if I'm praying at home? Your hair, okay, it gets in your face, which would distract you from praying. But the sheet or whatever his sister lent me kept falling off and that was more distracting.

Thanks in advance for your help, sorry to cram so many questions in, feel free to answer all or just some, really appreciated.

Answer 1

Well, it is my hope and my expectation that what I say will come from the Spirit within me.  

The first thing to come to my mind is that you are unequally yoked.  The second thing is that you are very unhappy.

The third thing is fasting is very personal thing between you and the Father for which you are making the sacrifice.

I am going to give you the scriptures that you need to meditate apon regarding the things I just typed.  And tell you one last thing that will help you concerning what i said when i began this answer and it is:

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel fo the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful;

But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.

He shall be like a tree, Planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season,

Whose leaf also shall not wither, and what so ever he does shall prosper.   Psalms 1: 1-3

I will leave it to you to read the rest of the psalm of David.

YOKED:     2 Corinthins 6:14



LOVE:  Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

i SUGGEST YOU : Meditate on these things and Let The Lord Tell You What To Do.

My suggestion:   Pray about it.   Let the Spirit Guide You.

As far as reading the Quran, I believe you should educate yourself  on what ever your friends or family believe.  I also believe that your partner appears to be dominating your decisions.  Remember you have only one life to live, consider the way you see other people living the life that is being offered to you.  Dont let your heart condemn you, just believe in Gods' Greatness, and know that he is the only Judge of all things.   Have faith and be strong in it.

As I re read your question, I must say that if feel for you deeply and i am not afraid to now say that I know you are unhappy and no matter what you FEEL, you need to know the battle is not yours but the Lords and you should use the full armor of God.  Some work you must do yourself  (Faith without work is dead faith) if you do not know what the full armor of god is, find it in the Word.

Lastly for sure, I feel your pain in the things that you complain about as far as your bf's disrespect of your personal space.   You must call a spade a spade, and consider what you would think if someone told YOU your story.

Agape

Foxx

Answer 2

How come you're fasting if you're not Muslim????

Yup, swearing breaks your fast in the spiritual sense. If it was an accident, then no

Don't kiss (kiss on the cheek etc) coz the mix of body fluids may be swallowed, thereby breaking the fast

No, pinching and grabbing don't break the fast

No, if you make a mistake, it';s okay, just try not to repeat it.

In Islam, the inention is counted too, don't forget

|No,. you can read Qur'an inh English too! I have one in urdu and one in English! go to quranexplorer.com. it is a brilliant site on Qur'an, with a qari actually reading the Qur'an. Amazing.!

No, there aren't any child Qur'an's (sorry! But you can go to Islamic shops and inquire if you wish)

As long as your head is covered for prayer (no need for the huge material, I tried it, it sucks!). You can buy ready made hijabs to cover your hair

Answer 3

I think it is commendable that you have decided to do this, because if you do have children with this man then it would benefit them to have a mother, although christian who doesn't mind teaching and practicing another faith.

You can have kissing touching etc. as long as it is not likely to lead to anything. I am happy that you are taking an interest in this religion and I hope that you are doing it for the sake of Allah or God and that you may develop a deeper understanding of the faith if you get yourself a copy of the english translation of the qur'an. You can when you pray say subhanAllah and Allahuakbar a few times on each prayer position if you are only a beginner, it is good to learn surah fatiha if you can so ask your bf to teach you, it is quite easy. Don't worry about making mistakes as long as you are trying your best then Allah will know what is in your heart.

As for covering yourself this is something that you must do, and you should cover everything except your hands and face with loose fitting clothing of any kind. This is because of having respect for the creator and yourself and this is a commandment that we must obey. You don't have to use a big sheet as long as it covers you and allows you to move into the prayer positions freely.

Also don't listen to the people that are slating you, you are not doing this for them and you are asking questions for advice and some people are not giving that advice just useless information. It is not your fault that your relationship is sinful since you are not muslim and your bf is in the wrong not you, but if you do decide to become muslim then please get married asap to avoid sins. Hope this has helped feel free to email me if you want to know anything else.

Answer 4

well it just decrease thr\e blessing of the fast it doesnt void it... n y form of intimate relationship during the fasting times is in appropriate.. cuz in this case we know one kiss could lead to sumting etc..  

Answer 5

1- your fasting doesn't count because being a Muslim is a must to validate your fasting, you can fast with your husband but it is not valid, and yes there is no s*x during fasting but it is permissible after breaking the fast

2- it extends to kissing except on cheeks.

3- grabbing with a desire does break the fast

4- 5- your not answerable about your mistakes that you do before embracing Islam

6- there is no short, but children may read and memorize the short chapters of the Qur'an

7- some translations of the Qur'an are wrong, well if you want i recommend this site:

http://www.quranexplorer.com/quran/

8- for women covering themselves during praying is a must, a Muslim women covers even at home (while praying) as a state of respect and shyness for Allah (swt), and try to cover with a special cover, buy it or let your husband get it for you, i think he knows better since hes Muslim

may Allah (swt) send down his blessings to you and bless you with Islam, Ameen,,

Answer 6

First and foremost, your marriage will not be valid (Islamically) until and unless you become a Muslim. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound rude or racist, I respect people of all religious, but that is just Islamic ruling. A marriage that is not valid will lead to adultery, as you will be having s*x out of wedlock and s*x out of marriage is a major sin. You will be married by state law, but not be Shariah law.

Your best bet is to not backtalk, get angry, or talk behind someone's back during your fast and of course Allah understands that we make mistakes, that is what makes us human. That's why asking for forgiveness is such a big part of Islam and Inshallah Allah will forgive your sin(s) if you do Astaghfar (ask for forgiveness) sincerely.

You can kiss, hug, etc. while fasting, but if you fear that the passion may lead to s*x, then it is best to avoid it, because s*x will break your fast.

There is no short or long version of Quran, there is only one version. Well, you have to be careful with which translation of the Quran you are reading, some are more accurate than others, but it's important to learn it in depth so you don't misunderstand anything written in it.

I am not really sure of the "sheet" you are referring to that you have to wear while praying. But, your head should be covered and so should your arms up to your wrist, and your legs below the ankles. You should wear loose-fitted clothing and nothing that is transparent.

Good Luck.  

Answer 7

Wow.

Maybe this isn't the right place to point this out, but your entire relationship is a sin.  I know, it sounds horrible, but Muslims don't date and for good reason.

You should convert If you REALLY want to be a good Muslim, not because " like to get married and have children (inshallah) and I'm trying to learn what I can beforehand so we can pray and fast, etc., as a family, although I plan on staying Christian".

There is no purpose to you imitating your "bf" if you're not going to be a Muslim.

1. Gossip breaks your fast, not the cursing.

2. You can kiss as long as you do not need to make ghusl after (you can Google, I am not going to be frank with you about s*x on here, it's immodest).

3. His actions cannot break your fast.

4. If you make a mistake, ask for forgiveness and continue the fast.

5. Of course. God knows everything.

6. Just keep practicing, and you will learn it eventually. Listen to it over and over. Imitate it to get the sounds right.  It does not have to be perfect. He doesn't want you to continue imitating him and I don't blame hime.

7. No, the translation is just as good, but it is not the SAME.

8. You don't have to completely cover yourself in a sheet.  The idea of prayer is to be moddest in front of God, so you must cover your hair entirely but you cna leave your face and hands open. Get a hijab, they're available on eBay.

9. PLEASE REEVALUATE WHY YOU ARE DOING THINGS. I feel like you are making a mockery of our faith.