Questions for parents who home school. How did you prepare for home schooling? and more?

Question

I have a 4 month old daughter. I know schooling is a few years off, but I am strongly considering homeschool. I have been actively reading the pro's and con's regarding socialization and later academic success, and feel that home schooling would best meet my child's needs.

If you decided to homeschool your child, at what age did you make your decision?

When did you begin homeschooling?

How did you prepare for homeschooling?

What were the biggest obstacles you faced?

Did you make an effort/committment to group interactions to allow positive socialization? If yes, what activities did you do and at what age?

If your child is older and has been mostly homeschooled his whole life, how does s/he compare to conventionally schooled children?

What's your heaviest homeschool focus? Religion, academics, or world/culture concepts?

Have you faced a lot of criticism for your choices? What? How did you overcome/react?

Any other advice or suggestions appreciated!

Answer 1

I am glad to see you posting all your questions out and really thinking about your decision.  I wish I would have really considered it when they were babies so I could have researched it way back then.  Good for you!

1)  We decided the summer before my oldest would have entered Kindergarten

2) I started a little the summer before my oldest would have started Kindergarten but I had worked with him way before our decision with learning his abc's and their sounds so I guess I was actually doing it way before our decision lol.

3)  Like the previous poster said most of my obstacles were in my own mind.  I was trying to do school at home instead of what fit us at first.  That first year was the hardest but is way better now that I realized my mistake.

4)  There wasn't much for homeschool groups in my area and most of their things were done in the afternoon and that's the shift my hubby works and we only have the one car so I joined a MOMS Club and they all really support us in our homeschooling even when most of them don't (all though I know of one now homeschooling, and at least 2 other's in that group are considering it).  We also go to the Library a lot and we go to church where they have their Potter's Kids (Sunday School) where they have friends there.  There is also a local homeschool group that my friend will sometimes take us with her to go to (afternoon things).  Plus our Pastor's son is going to look into getting my oldest into soccor.  My boy's are almost 8 and the other just turned 6 in Jan.

5)  My oldest will be eight in March so he is still young but so far he is doing better than most his age.  But then again he gets one on one teaching and we can explore many more things then the average schools do.  Yes, he's smart but I wouldn't say a genious lol.  Just he get's more time to learn and explore.

6)  Yes, we are Christians and we do focus on that but I would say our main focus is exploring new things and learning to adjust to new things and loving learning new things.  So we do learning about our religion but that isn't our only focus.  I want them to become independent adults so I try and let them do a lot themselves with a little guidance from me.

7)  My mom was our biggest critic but now she is our biggest supporter LOL.  Honestly we haven't had much criticism.  The most criticism I see is online.  People I run into either say WOW that's great you can do that, or Oh wow I could never do that, I don't have the patients.  I can only think of one time someone said something that could be considered criticism but it really doesn't bother me.

My advice is really to follow your instincts and follow your child's way of learning and what they are interested in. Yes they will have to learn about things they don't necessarily don't care to learn about it but if you also do studies on things they are interested in they are more likely to learn the other stuff too.  Don't stress yourself out over things because they really do learn when you least expect it.  I hope that helps.

Answer 2

I decide to homeschool right before during my oldest child's last year of pre-k.  We started homeschooling his K year.

I prepared for homeschooling by reading every book in our local library on the subject and spending alot of time reading online and participating in online forums.  I also actively searched for research on the negative effects of homeschooling, and I could not find any.

The biggest obstacles I faced were in my own mind.  I had to have enough courage to do something that went against the norm.  I had to learn a totally new way of thinking about education, socialization, etc.  

Homeschooling my child has honestly given me a new perspective on life.  It has shown me that many of the things we do in regard to education are not natural, are counterproductive, and are only done because that's the way we've been condition to believe things should be done.  

I have not really had to make an "effort" to group interactions.  In my area there are so many opportunities for homeschoolers that we really have to make an effort not to overdo outside activities.  

Our weekly activities are:

M - daughter takes ballet and then my kids spend the day in the country running around with their homeschooled cousins

W - visit great grandma in nursing home and spend the afternoon with grandma

TH - son's basketball practice

S - son's basketball game

S - church, praise dance practice

During the week we may also squeeze in a field trip, park day or visit with other homeschooled friends.  We also have family friends with kids who are in public school who may come over to dinner on a Fri or Sat night.  My children get more than enough positive social interaction, yet they are not exposed to daily peer pressure, teasing or bullying.  They are extremely self confident and interested in learning.

My children have absolutely no problems getting along with their public school friends, yet even other adults have commented that my children seem different than those kids, and it has all been positive.

My children are still young, but I have cousins who are in their 20's who were homeschooled all the way through high school.  They are some of the most confident, mature, and adventurous young adults I know.  It was because of them that I became interested in homeschooling.

In our homeschool we just focus on living our lives together as a family.  Academics are a part of our lives, our lives don't revolve around academics.

When we told our friends we were planning to homeschool, they were pretty negative about it and a few even decided to confront us.  I felt bad about it at first and wondered if we were making the right decision, but our first year of homeschooling went so well, that now I just laugh about the negative comments.  People are just uninformed and their opinions don't faze me.  Here are some suggestions for dealing with opposition:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

Here's a homeschooling website that will give you more info about homeschooling:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/

Good luck!

Answer 3

If you decided to homeschool your child, at what age did you make your decision?

>> I had to begin researching HS'ing when my son was 4 and in a public preschool.  His teachers told me, "Do NOT put him in our district - do something else".  :-)  Actually before that, his Parents as Teachers instructor (a birth-3 program of the district) had been warning me, based on his developmental assessment scores, that public schooling was not going to work.

When did you begin homeschooling?

>>  We began while he was still in the preschool.  We rec'd our curriculum on a trial basis and he was so excited to start, we started in April, right after his 5th bday.  In reality, though, my DH and I had been HS'ing him since birth.  :-)

How did you prepare for homeschooling?

>>  Lots and lots and lots of research.  This is what you're doing now, so kudos to you!  I joined many HS'ing 'net boards, looked at every single curriculum I could, attended HS conventions, read every book at the library, figured out my child's learning style, and on and on.

What were the biggest obstacles you faced?

>> Nothing, really.  The only internal thing was questioning if I *could* do it.  I'd already been a SAHM for 5 yrs, so that transition was easy (the money - a subject of another one of your Q's).  We did get into a big hullabaloo with our senior pastor and his wife.  It was sad, really.  They'd expected us to enroll our son in the church school.  We were "high profile" (their words) people and they thought we should use the school.  So we went 'round and 'round with them and finally gave up discussing it.  I had to screen calls for the first time ever so I wouldn't have to justify myself again to Pastor.  I had to call my long-time HS'ing friend who was in India as a missionary and cry on her shoulder.  In the end, I wrote up a long page of reasons we'd decided to HS.  I was going to send it to Pastor but never did.  I realized it wouldn't help.  BUT it helped me get all of it down in black and white.  I still refer to that list now, five years later!  :-)

Did you make an effort/committment to group interactions to allow positive socialization? If yes, what activities did you do and at what age?

>> My son started attending classes at the zoo at 18 months old.  He continued those right into his HS'ing years, transitioning from the preschool to the HS classes.  That was our first start.  He learned how to behave in a class setting from those early interactions.  Then we added PE and swimming classes at the YMCA, playgroups with other HS'ed kids, then HS sports, HS co-op, HS classes at zoos and museums, on and on.  Now he's 10 and LOVES being around ONLY HS'ed kids.  They are so much more respectful not only to other kids, but also to their teachers, parents, and THEMSELVES!!!

If your child is older and has been mostly homeschooled his whole life, how does s/he compare to conventionally schooled children?

>> Not sure what you're referring to here.  My son tests at >99% on all of his standardized achievement tests.  He now takes "out of level" tests.  Last year as a 3rd grader and this year as a 4th grader, he's taking the EXPLORE test through ACT and an academic talent search.  It's a test for 8th & 9th graders and last year he scored better than 90% of typical 8th graders on the test for his composite.  In Science, he scored better than 99% of 8th graders.  I'm not bragging, but if you're looking for academic achievement, there you go :-).

What's your heaviest homeschool focus? Religion, academics, or world/culture concepts?

>> While we are Christian, that is not our main reason for HS'ing, nor do we use a Christian curriculum.  We do creation studies from Answers in Genesis, and many bible studies (and DS is in a bible club).  We have a heavy academic courseload and our curriculum has a broad and deep scope and sequence.  It is heavy on science and history, art, composition, and many other topics.  My son studies *real* history, not some watered-down, wishy-washy "social studies".  His curriculum is heavy on cultural literacy (read books by E.D. Hirsch) and not only is he learning, but *I'm* learning with him all the cultural literacy things I didn't have in K-12 or in college.

Have you faced a lot of criticism for your choices? What? How did you overcome/react?

>> See my above response about our pastors.  Other than that, things have been pretty good.  We've learned to let the naysayers' comments roll off our backs.  Some people will never "get" HS'ing.  My sister had HS'ed in the 80's, so my parents were cool w/ it.  My inlaws were not so cool, and they worried about the dreaded "S" word.  Then my DH told them how he was scared for life because of public school.  He does not want to feed our son to the "wolves".

BTW, we HS our son, but we send our daughter to public school.  We do what's best for each child, and we re-evaluate every spring.  We only commit to each choice for one year at a time.  However, it's apparent after 5 yrs of HS'ing that we're in this for the long haul with DS.

HTH!

Answer 4

I cannot say that we prepared.

Home schooling is/was a natural extension of parenting, we simply added academics as they grow, and are/were ready for it.

We did not home school our oldest full time, maybe a for a year or so, she was in both private Christian, and public schools.

Home schooling is by far the better choice.

Home schooling is a life style, and becomes a normal a part of your daily routine.

It is much harder for those who have had their children in a conventional school setting before, and it in those cases it will take a while for the children to adjust after leaving that setting.

The preparation for home schooling that most parents have trouble with is choosing the materials to use; there is a vast assortment; the book companies have found a market.

Second is changing their own thinking about what education is, since most have gone through what is considered the traditional school system, and may not understand that children have a natural love for learning, and do not need to be confined to a classroom with a prescribed curriculum to do so.

Children also do not learn the same thing at the same time, many may not be ready, interested, or are simply ahead, and become bored.

Your child is still very young, so you have plenty of time.

I would visit a few home school conventions, get in contact with a local home school group, talk to these families, and as the child gets older join in some of the activities.

As for home schooled children not having enough opportunities for socialization that is the biggest myth around, there is so much to do that you may have to be careful not to do to much.

Our children range from ages p*****n to late twenties, and are doing very well.

Academics have been no problem, and neither did it affect their choice/chances for careers, or college.

I do have to say that I personally have never compared them with conventional schooled children since we are predominantly unschoolers in our approach/method.

For those statistics you may want to read the studies done on this by the national Home School Research Institute, by Dr. Brain Ray.

http://www.nheri.org/

Our main focus for home schooling is to provide the children with the opportunity to help direct their own education, follow their interests, and -- family--

Instilling our values and beliefs throughout their lives is very important, and I am very much in favor of being able to include our religious beliefs in this.

You will always face criticism from others no matter what you do, however this should never be an issue, or make you second guess yourself when you know that what you are doing is in the best interest of your children, and your family.

We do not react, we smile, and say freedom of choice is wonderful is it not!

Answer 5

"If you decided to homeschool your child, at what age did you make your decision?"

I had the initial thought before my daughter was even born. She was about 6 months old when I actually said it out loud and felt committed to it.

"When did you begin homeschooling?"

Legally, when my daughter started gr. 1. But homeschooling is just an extension of what you do with your child as a parent. One could technically say that our homeschooling began at birth. We chose appropriate "resources" (toys) for her, we'd create little learning situations for her, and things grew as she did.

"How did you prepare for homeschooling?"

I read every book on homeschooling I could find at my local library. At the time, there wasn't much (my daughter's 10) as it was just starting to get moving in popularity. I also found a local support group in Yahoo Groups and got to ask questions and get to know people through there and I connected with yet another homeschool group and participated in their activities, even when my dd was only 3/4 and my son just a baby. I also looked at every curriculum people had and got every curriculum catalogue I could. I ended up deciding on not purchasing specific stuff like that, but it did give me some ideas.

"What were the biggest obstacles you faced? "

Having my husband get to the point of really committing it. He'd been very interested and open to it when our talk occurred when our dd was 6 months, but he didn't really commit to it until it was time that we legally had to register.

"Did you make an effort/committment to group interactions to allow positive socialization? If yes, what activities did you do and at what age?"

Yes, commitment to social activities is definitely important. I'll try to list activities with ages:

Park days (put on by local homeschool groups--one has a weekly park day year-round, the other a weekly park day from May-Sept.)--age: any age.

Playdates and parties--organized by us or other families; any age.

Various field trips around the city organized by individuals or homeschool groups--any age.

Community swimming lessons--dd started at age 5, ds at age 6, and they do lessons at least once each year.

Group (community) violin lessons for my dd--gr. 3.

Skating lessons for dd--gr. 4.

Group (homeschool) ski/snowboard: ds--gr. 2, dd--gr. 5.

Dd participated in a weeklong summer educational/fun daycamp between gr. 3 and 4; both will participate this summer (ds will be finishing gr. 2; dd, gr. 5).

Community soccer--they'll be doing that for the first time this year.

Homeschool workshops--ds just did his first, can't remember if dd had done one before or not.

"What's your heaviest homeschool focus? Religion, academics, or world/culture concepts?"

Actually, none of those. Family, learning to deal with conflict and express themselves appropriately (those who think that homeschooled kids don't have to deal with conflict must never have problems with their siblings!) first, then exploration of the world and academics.

"Have you faced a lot of criticism for your choices? What? How did you overcome/react?"

I've been rather lucky. Only some minor reactions here and there. I've been so sure of our decision that it really hasn't bothered me.

"Any other advice or suggestions appreciated!"

See homeschooling as just continuing your parenting, not something you need to "start" at some point. Connect with some homeschool groups now if you can, even if you aren't sure. The ones I'm a part of are open to everyone, whether you've decided or not, whether your child is school age or not.

Answer 6

My youngest being home schooled this year is 5. I probably won't start home schooling my baby until she is 5 as well. When we do start it won't be a formal sit down and lets learn the alphabet or any thing like that it will be more or less mom directed play. "Let's play with the blocks" or "Hey do you want to work in your Math U See book and play with those blocks?"

I started home schooling at Christmas time in 2006. I had enough with the school system here and pulled them out!

My first year I borrowed my sisters curriculum (Sonlight core 1+2). This year I tried a new one and we all hated it so we are waiting for the new one to come in (back to Sonlight core3+4)!

The biggest obstacles I faced I just learned to ignore. They are my husbands family. They can't stand that we don't put our faith and children in the public system. I mean "look at my kids they are doing well!", "Why can't you do as normal people do?" They are the kind of people who believe what's good for the goose is good for the gander. It worked for us it will work for you.

For socialization we go to a home school group and Co-Op. We are also involved in the church and children's groups. My daughters favorite thing is to go to Club 456 at the end of the month! She gets to spend the night with her home schooled cousin because we live an hour from my sisters house.

My kids are still pretty young 9, 5 and 21 months.

Academics is the main focus but we do focus on the world and the cultures and we also give a religious education. For science we chose one that teaches Creation and Evolution but the main focus Creation.

Only from my husbands side and my father. I explained it above. I have just learned that it's not worth the debate. I ignore the snide comments and let the children prove their aunt and grandfather wrong.

Answer 7

We started late (middle school and my son is now 9th) but I will still give my perspective.

Probably the most important comment I can make is that we regret not starting sooner!

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If you decided to homeschool your child, at what age did you make your decision? / When did you begin homeschooling?

Middle school

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How did you prepare for homeschooling?

I was a former teacher and a colleague (also a teacher) homeschooled his several children.  My first action was to talk to this fellow.  He provided me names and numbers of homeschool families to contact for support and information. I firmly believe the local homeschoolers to be the best source of support, inspiration, materials, ideas, activities, etc. that you are going to find.  Reading books and surfing the net is helpful, but actually talking face to face with folks who have already walked the path is invaluable.  Plus, you and your child will make some new friends.

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What were the biggest obstacles you faced?

My own silliness!  Meaning, I was way too intense the first year.  My poor kid!

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Did you make an effort/committment to group interactions to allow positive socialization? If yes, what activities did you do and at what age?

Yes - mostly interest driven but also academic with coop courses.

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If your child is older and has been mostly homeschooled his whole life, how does s/he compare to conventionally schooled children?

N/A

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What's your heaviest homeschool focus? Religion, academics, or world/culture concepts?

A balance between college prep academics and interest driven / career oriented learning.

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Have you faced a lot of criticism for your choices? What? How did you overcome/react?

I guess perhaps we are an exception.  Other than one particular family member (and he was polite about it) we have experienced nothing but very positive support - even from the school system (I was heavily involved first as a teacher then a volunteer for various things so they knew / know me very well).

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It is a big decision!  I really suggest that even though your daughter is only 4mo, start making contacts with other homeschoolers in your area.

Answer 8

I first began to consider homeschooling when my oldest child was approximately a year old.  Well before she was school age, we had made the decision.

Well, my children are 10 and 7 and have never attended public school so I guess the easy answer is "since Kindergarten".  I believe that homeschooling is teaching at home, though, and in that sense I have been doing it since they were born.  For us, homeschooling is not just something we do-it is a lifestyle.

I was glad that we made the decision when the children were so young, so that I was not overwhelmed with the massive amount of information available all at once.  I spent years before we had to officially start educating myself about the laws, the various methods and materials, etc.

The biggest obstacles are those of ignorant (meant in the true definition, not as an insult) people who comment on our choice.  They usually come in the form of questions such as "What about socialization?", "How can you teach without going to school for a degree?", "How will you teach Calculus or Trig?", etc.  It is not really an obstacle, per se, but it is the biggest issue.

My children have been involved in activities long before they were school age-school is of course not the only place socialization occurs.  We joined a playgroup, Mommy and Me activities such as gymnastics or music programs.  They have neighbors, cousins, friends.  They attend church.  They are now involved in 4H, Scouts, baseball and a variety of other activities that allow them a chance to socialize with other children.

My children are both in Scout groups where they are the only ones that are homeschooled.  In my daughter's troop, I notice that she does not act up as much as the other children do.  Is that because she is homeschooled?  I think partially so, but a newer member in the troop sits beside my daughter and behaves just as well and that girl is public schooled.  Until my son joined Scouts last year, I was convinced that he was hyper.  Seeing him around other boys his same age, he is in fact quite normal.  They have similarities and differences with the children that are public or private schooled, but each child is going to be different-two public schooled children are not going to be exactly alike either.

In homeschooling, we teach religion but is that because we homeschool?  No, because we would teach religion even if they went to a more traditional school setting.  We focus on academics, but the same question arises-is it because of homeschooling?  Again, the answer is no, because we would want for them to excell even if they attended a more traditional school setting.  I would say that our focus is on individuality.  They have a curriculum they have to follow (well, they are not required to follow that specific curriculum), but they can delve deeper into the topics that most interest them, even if that is not within the curriculum.  We can use those topics that interest them to make parts of their curriculum more exciting.  They can finish and move on to the next lesson, or they can take extra time when needed to make sure they understand the concept and/or material.

We have faced a lot of criticism.  As mentioned above, the majority of it is centered around the assumption of a lack of socialization.  Apparently, many believe that school is the only place you can socialize.  I answer these remarks by asking what their children do on evenings, weekends, school holidays and during summer break?  When they realize how ridiculous their question or statement was, they move on to other questions (some of which I previously mentioned).  I simply answer them to the best of my ability.  If someone tries to argue, I simply ask for the bean dip...(meaning change the subject-this is a saying that has long been used on a homeschool forum I frequent).  I used to get upset by their questions, especially if I knew they were intended in a way to question my ability to do what is best for my children.  Now, my reaction is probably one of a robot because I am so used to it I can repeat the information without thinking.  Refreshingly, sometimes you will get questioned by someone who is truly interested.

Learn all you can, and know that you will make changes over time as needed.  What I initially thought of as homeschooling is not what we do today.  Some things that I thought we would NEVER do, is routine for us now.  Just keep an open mind, and always do what is best for YOUR family and YOUR child and let noone else get in the way of that.

I wish you the best!