Questions on intellectual giftedness (possibly?)...please help.

Question

My daughter has always been a smart child to me, but recently I've researched the possibility that she is gifted - as well as the implications.

She demanded to learn how to read about about 3.5 years old so she could use the computer on her own...from then on, she was always fascinated with humanity & science. By the time Kindergarten had started, she was teaching herself about the Holocaust -and had picked up Anne Frank's Annex.

We did have her tested at age 3-4 to move her up a grade - to which the professor (of special education at the state University) said that she certainly was 'exceptional'.

She was in the TiP Program for Duke University - and scored a 28 on the ACT Verbal Section at about age 11-12. She scored a 23 composite overall - with no preperation or prodding from us - we are by no means hothouse parents.

I'm not sure if this is related - but both her Uncle and my Uncle (her Great Uncle) are quantum physicists - with the rest of our family being professionals or having gone to college.

Now, however, she's feeling a bit apathetic about school (we did move her back down to her original grade when we moved - so she could be with her own peers) I think. She isn't scoring well on standardized tests adminstered in the highschool, and she seems socially isolated.

Could this be attributed to her giftedness? From what I was reading IQ 125-155 is 'socially optimal' intelligence, as termed by Dr. Hollingworth, a professional in special gifted education...is there a possibility that she could be IQ 160 , & *this* is the reason why she is having some troubles?

Should I get her formally tested or...?

Thank you in advance.

Answer 1

She sounds a little bit like me. One of my teachers really noticed and now i skipped a grade and my freshman year I was in all senior AP classes and now i'm 6 years ahead in math. The first time I was formally tested was when I was 12 i got a 32 composite on the ACT. She is probably apathetic about school due to the lack of challenge and assembly line structure. Certainly I'm more socially isolated due to my intellect - i mean, when I was in kindergarten i would freak out in the middle of class because I couldn't believe that what I regarded as my life was really real. There's things going on in her head that her peers can't possibly comprehend. As for me, if sophomore year doesn't go well i might just go to college.

If the schools are aware of her giftedness and are willing to make crazy accommodations as they were for me, then she doesn't need to be formally tested. But if you have to fight to get her what she needs, a tangible test score (though measuring an intangible concept) is probably your best bet.

Answer 2

There are a couple of possibilities.  She could have an underlying learning disability, many gifted people do.  I do.  I am dyslexic and gifted.  IQ has tested as low as 147 and as high as 163.  

What I notice in mensa and gifted programs is that social skills are impaired the higher up that IQ score is.  It is difficult to relate to 'average' smart peers when you are a full two-two and a half standard deviations higher than they are.  Do you ever watch the big bang theory?  This is a prime example of what I am saying, I relate to it well.  I disagree with Dr. Hollingworth as far as 125-155 being socially optimal.  I do think that range gives you an opportunity to be whatever you want and be successful at it.  But as far as highschool um, no.  So in my experience, people start seeming weird at about 130 self included.  

In high school I had friends and was kinda considered the dumb smart kid in the gifted program.  I had friends who were not gifted too.  They thought I was really sympathetic to be friends with the 'geeks'.  I remember being really excited to go to like my 6th laser light show at the franklin institute and it was homecoming weekend and there were to be big parties, and I went to the light show.  My 'typical' friends thought that was really weird.  And I also enjoyed going to dungeon's and dragon's conventions and things like that.  As you get older in college there are more like minded people and you fit in better.

Also mensa takes members much lower than 160.  You only need to be top 2 percent.  So for the stanford binet its 132.  the WlSC-IV is 148 I believe.

Another possibility is that she is depressed.  It is hard when you are so different than everybody else.  In college, differences are cherished, in highschool to be different is to be a social pariah.  Nobody wants to be different in highschool physically or mentally.  I physically look different too.  Although I am very attractive, I am tall with an athletic body, and I look very ethnic with black hair and full lips, and darker skin.  Totally not appreciated in high school, college completely different story.  But in highschool all that i wanted to be was 5'4" 120 lbs blonde hair blue eyes.

Another possibility is that she has asperger's syndrome.  This is along the autistic spectrum which is a social communication disorder.  The symptoms for many, including my father who is asperger's and gifted are difficulties with peers/socially awkward, major scattered abilities, early reading my dad was 3 dx with hyperlexia,  he doesn't get alot of jokes (like saturday night live, or monty python) excelling in languages etc.  Bill Gates is thought to be asperger's.  Another fictional character based upon asperger's syndrome is Lisa Simpson from the simpsons, and Cliff Claven from cheers.  

Another thing that I see, is that those that are gifted do not have to work very hard in school, things come easily.  Sometimes gifted individuals are underachievers in life because they were never pushed.  An example is Marilyn vos Savant who has the highest IQ recorded and is where the term savant syndrome comes from.  She writes a column.  She is married to Dr. Robert Jarvik who invented the Jarvik artificial heart.

I would get her tested.

Answer 3

I am not "gifted" by any means but from your story it sounds like she is going through what we all went through when we were growing up. Just be a strong willed loving parent to her and you should be fine. Even gifted children are still children. About the IQ thing...go to the MENSA website and download their IQ test and see how she does. MENSA is a organization for gifted individuals and you have to be really smart to join them. If you daughter can get a 160 on MENSA's IQ test you should definitely do something immediately to foster the young genius :-)

Answer 4

You should just talk to her. Ask her what would make her more happy. You already know she is smart, so why put her through more tests. The other kids probably know about this and that is why she is isolated. She probably feels that she cannot relate to them. Find a way to enrich her learning but also let her do stuff with her peers. Let her know it's okay to be smart, but that she needs to understand that being smart is a gift. Teach her to understand her peers may not know as much, but that's okay. Everybody learns at a different pace.

Maybe the low testing could be attributed to her being isolated. you just need to talk to her to find out what's wrong.

I have friends who are gifted and they feel isolated sometimes. People who were not as smart as them were often rude to them. Maybe she needs to talk to other gifted children. But also let find peers that are not. Not everyone who is not gifted makes fun of those who are.

She could also be feeling pressured. Being gifted can often leave someone feeling pressured to do well. Maybe she is feeling this way.

The only way you will know is by talking to her. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

My daughter was much the same.  She was speaking in full sentences at 18 months, reading as a preschooler, had an incredible vocabulary, always years ahead of her grade level.  It was clear that she was a very intelligent child, and people urged us to have her IQ tested, but I didn't (and still don't) see the point.  What benefit is there to know the specific IQ number?  I believe in testing when it gives us usable information, but I don't believe anything is gained by knowing if her IQ is 135 or 160.  What could we improve her situation, based on that knowledge?

By middle school, my daughter hated to go to school.  In 8th grade, she was not turning in assignments, becoming a bit of a hypochondriac, avoiding social interactions, and just generally feeling miserable.  Her teachers were alarmed and called to discuss it with me.  Much of it did have to do with her feeling out of sync with the rest of her peers.  She was much more mature than most of them, and she hated spending her time with people who seemed so shallow.  She did get some professional counselling (luckily, I have good medical insurance), which helped.  

The main thing that helped her was the understanding that, once she

got to college, she would be meeting far more people who were serious about life and learning.  With the support of some really dedicated teachers, she did very well in high school, took a lot of Advanced Placement classes, and got a great college scholarship.  

I don't think IQ level is directly related to social skills, or happiness.  It is certainly true that people with high IQs can have a more difficult time finding someone who can give them a good, challenging, intellectually stimulating relationship, but I doubt that there's really a reason that an IQ of 150 would be more "socially optimal" than one of 160.  Ask your daughter what's going on, and if you can manage it, offer her the opportunity to talk with a counselor.  It's often easier for kids to be open about their feelings with someone who has a professional, not a personal, relationship with them.  Good luck!